Honestly, I cannot today. I was at the kopitiam just now waiting for my Teh C Kosong, and there’s this group of Aunties sitting behind me, basically running a live CSI commentary on the recent case of the block’s bra thief. One Auntie—the one with the loudest Perm hairstyle in the Northeast—literally slammed the table and said: “Aiyah, confirm is those nerds one lah. Study too much, brain wire go haywire, then become pervert.”
Wah piang, I nearly choked on my drink. What kind of logic is this? Since when did hitting the books translate to stealing undergarments?
In Singapore, we are obsessed with this “studied too much” narrative. If a kid is quiet? Study too much. If a guy is socially awkward? Study too much. Now, if someone is a literal criminal? Confirm is the assessment books’ fault. It’s like we have this weird reverse-stigmatization where if you are not out there playing football or being a “normal” Beng, you’re automatically a ticking time bomb of repressed weirdness.
Actually, I feel quite bad for the “nerds” in our context. These guys spend their whole youth grinding for the 4.0 GPA, mugging until 2 AM at Starbucks, and trying to secure a stable future in this expensive city. They are literally the most law-abiding citizens because they are too tired to even think about crime, let alone climb a HDB ledge to steal a Uniqlo wireless bra. You think after 10 hours of Python coding or Organic Chem, people still have the core strength to do cat-burglar stunts? Please lah.
The irony is that when these “nerds” become doctors or software engineers and bring home the 5-figure salary, these same Aunties will be the first to ask: “Boy ah, you got girlfriend or not? My niece very pretty one.” But the moment there’s a neighborhood nuisance, suddenly “studying” is a mental illness.
Can we stop with the lazy stereotyping? Crime is crime. It’s about character, not whether you took Triple Science in JC. Stop blaming the books and start looking at the actual person. Also, to that Auntie: your “nerd” nephew is the one currently fixing your phone’s WhatsApp every Sunday, so maybe show some respect?
TL;DR: Auntie thinks being a “nerd” makes you a bra thief. I think she watched too many Mediachorp dramas from the 90s. Let the muggers mug in peace