I’m 35(f) and my younger brother is 29. He has severe mental health problems, starting with Non verbal autism, anger issues and complete inability to look after himself. My parents looked after him since the day he was born due to all these issues.
I have tried to love him, but as the ages gone past I have resented him. He has always been big and tall and since very young age he has tried to hurt me. I was always covered in bruises while living with my parents. When he got older he would try to kill me. He would try to drown me, choke me, threaten me with a knife and make holes in me, and I’m not mentioning the amount of times he has tried to set the house on fire. I ended up hating him and barely had contact with my parents as they always find an excuse for his behavior.
They are getting old and have recently contacted me asking for help to look after my brother. I laughed. I told them if I could I would happily put him out of his misery. But because I couldn’t I have told them if they force me to look after him I will either make an anonymous call for him to be taken to a place where qualified people can look after him or just abandon him by one and make sure I will never see or hear about him again.
I don’t want to be related to him. He is the reason why I will never be able to have kids of my own. He is the reason of many ugly scars left on my body and face. And I will happily get rid of him the chance I have or get him locked up for good.
I do not blame what he did on his autism. He needed treatment from a very young age which was not provided to him by my parents which has caused this violence and anger issues. Autism might just make them a bit stronger but I don’t believe it is a cause as he also has a bunch of other mental illnesses he was diagnosed with.
However people who say he didn’t choose it and he can not understand what he does and try to either make it seem like I’m blaming his autism for it or who are blaming autism for it themselves seem ignorant. He enjoys causing harm to me, to my parents or any pets we owned (my brother would “dispose” of any pets we owned from fish to dogs/cats). When he was younger it was hurting everyone, once he grew up it was aiming for a kill. There’s no outbursts or anything, it’s just him trying to actively get rid of me or any pets as he wants to be their top priority. When he is not my parents get hurt by him. He previously made attempts to burn me alive where I woke up covered in fuel while he was watching me while playing with lighter. I am not going to list everything he did, but its something I do not wish upon anyone.
My parents and my brother do not know where I live and I haven’t visited them in years due to my brother, especially after he tried to “dispose” of my girlfriend. We are currently looking to move to a different country across the world and change names if we can, so there will be no way for my parents or the government to look after my brother or pay for him to be in an institution as these are expensive.