My (F25) boyfriend (31M) got upset with me last night over not getting intimate with him in bed after an argument
Sorry if this is a little disorganized, trying to add the important details without going over the top.
Let me preface this by saying- we both have extremely high libidos. We average get nasty with each other once a day depending on our schedules, sometimes 2-3x a day on weekends. He’s an amazing boyfriend and outside of this we don’t really have issues.
We’ve been together for almost two years. We went through a phase last year of lower frequency due to life stress, particularly on my end, but I’d still say we averaged every other day. This ended in him throwing what I refer to as “tantrums”, where he’d get frustrated to the point of leaving me in bed alone to go sleep on the couch. He’d clearly state he’s not mad “at” me but more-so frustrated to where he can’t be in bed with me. I made it extremely clear after the first 2-3 times that this behavior is unacceptable and I refuse to be guilt tripped into having intercourse with him. He apologized and all was fine… up until last night.
Our schedules have been clashing recently; I work in the medical field and need to be up at 6am. He’s in a contract position for a few weeks and currently gets home anywhere from 7pm-midnight. This has, of course, reduced the frequency of spending time together, along with doing it on the bed.
The last few nights he’s been getting home at 10-11pm. I’m in bed at that point; Sunday night we still got intimate and we went to sleep right after. Monday was a late night so we didn’t get the chance to spend time together.
He got home on the earlier side last night, around 9pm. Within minutes of us getting into bed together, he started a discussion, which turned into an argument and ultimately lasted about 3 hours, or until ~1am. Mind you, I need to be up at 6am for work. After the argument was resolved, he offered to help me “relax” so I could sleep. I declined and reminded him about my early morning and that I was still worked up and drained over our argument. Then I could tell he started getting frustrated; heavy breathing, sighing, blah blah blah. I asked what was wrong and he said how he’s frustrated and we haven’t been intimate together since Sunday. This then spiraled into how I don’t desire him or must not want him as badly as he wants me.
I’m sitting there absolutely dumbfounded. I asked him why he even offered to get me off if his plan was to make love anyway? He didn’t really have an answer. I feel like his cuddles and apologies after the argument were just to try and get laid. I’m also confused on how his contract position is the reason we don’t see each other as much, yet I’m supposed to sacrifice my sleep schedule while having a job that requires me to make decisions regarding other people’s lives?
I’m not even really sure what the question here is.. I understand we both have high libidos and he has needs. I just feel like it’s extremely manipulative. I’d never ask him to do it with me if he wasn’t in the mood or needed to be up early. We’ve also had the discussion last year about how this behavior is unacceptable.
He’s still pissy today saying how awkward things are now and his needs aren’t being met.