My boyfriend is a working adult + part time degree student. Last week, he was in major stress due to assignments and finals.
He asked me not to chat with him for the time being until he finishes all his exams and assignments, which is totally fine for me because I know those are more priority.
However, on the day of his finals, his female colleague (married and pregnant) went for pregnancy check up and complained of stomachache, which caused her to be remained in the hospital for further checkup.
She said she was stressed and crying, so my boyfriend put down his finals and went to accompany her.
I got mad because in my mind, he was putting her as priority above his exams and me. I tried to explain to him why I am mad (her husband is on the way coming to see her, it’s not really his responsibility about whatever happened to the colleague)
but in turn, I was getting mad at and he said he was disappointed in me because I did not support him to be a good person who comforts other people in stressed up condition. I need some help here, as now I don’t know anymore what is right or wrong.
- I also don’t know who is right or wrong but I do know if you stay around, you can earn some pretty good bucks as a clown on that kid’s first birthday! Jk. Lol.
K la, but honestly, I find it acceptable to comfort his colleague.
- I think this needs more context like is this a colleague that is super close to him? Like he views her as a mentor or a manager that has supported him in his career? It does sounds bizarre I will give you that, for a pregnant lady to call a guy colleague for comfort.
I can’t imagine myself calling any colleagues in this situation, prolly will turn to my good friends or family. Also can’t imagine my colleague will drop his exam and rush down.
I guess u need to have a honest chat if they are more than just colleagues. Perhap there’s some crushes etc for both to react this way.
- Sure, boundaries apply for compassion too, but there are exceptions as well…and essentially the two of you don’t agree on the exceptions. It’s important to clarify the point of contention so it doesn’t blow up into something it’s not…which is now the case since he thinks you don’t ‘allow’ him to show compassion.