Is my boyfriend (M25) really stingy or am I (F24) too materialistic, I just want to install an air con unit in our home. But he refuses.
Hello, we stay in Singapore which is hot and humid we don’t stay in Genting highlands, we definitely need air con.
A little background about our relationship, we have been together for 4 years and met during our University years.
Now we both have full-time jobs and make a decent amount of money that can afford a comfortable living situation. I love him so much because we get along so well. We have so many things in common and our communication skills with each other are amazing except for one thing he is super cheap.
He makes over 80k a year but we have not gone on a date for over a year. We can’t even get simple things like coffee or ice cream or anything for that matter.
He wasn’t always like this, for the first two years of our relationship we used to go all the time and it was never a problem.
BTO
We recently BTO and started planning on what to install and design for the new flat, I told him I wanted to browse for air conditioners and he started questioning me why we have to install aircon.
We started arguing and he said that air con cost is a few thousand dollars and it would increase the money we have to spend for it.
The argument finally settled when I said that I am going to pay full for it and he is not allowed to use it and has to sleep separately in another room without any air con installed.
Recently he told me that he would get upset when I would get things like cheese on my plate for an extra charge when we used to go out or nacho at the movies because you can have those things at home.
I feel like I have been lied to because I only found this out after 4 years of dating. Yes, he was cheap in other ways like buying things on sale and not buying a lot but I thought it was normal.
His excuse is that he just doesn’t like to spend money and wants to live on the bare minimum. All along he knew I worked so hard to have a better lifestyle, a comfortable lifestyle. He knew that I like to go out at least once a week.
However, now he is saying he never wants to do it. Please tell me this isn’t a normal way to have a relationship with significant other and I’m not too materialistic as he says.
It’s would be so hard to end this relationship because I always thought he is the one but after hearing this I don’t know if I can live the rest of my life like this.
I got half a mind to cancel the BTO and call off everything.
Any advise how to handle this situation is welcomed.