My boyfriend and I are 32 years old, we have been together for 3 years and we do not go on dates anymore. I’ve told him I would like to be taken out or plan date nights together and he said
“We are three years in, that is the honeymoon phase. You just wanna be taken out on expensive dates and I can’t do that.”
This is normal. He twists my words and makes me look like I’m asking for certain things I’m not. I’ve explained that date nights can be as simple as staying in and cooking together or playing board games.
I feel it’s important to put aside at least an hour of your time once a week to put away your phone and turn off the TVs and just be with your partner and enjoying their company. He absolutely refuses to do anything with me. He tells me that other people don’t do that and makes me feel like what I’m asking for isn’t normal. When the rare occasion occurs that we go out he is on his phone the whole time and disengaged. I’ve suggested going to see a movie that recently came out and he originally said he wanted to go but then proceeded to give me the run around when he picked me up to go and we ended up not going.
Valentines day is coming up and he has not said a word about it and I’ve decided to hold off on saying anything. A man should know a woman would appreciate being taken out or gifted flowers and I want to see what effort he makes.
I’m tired of planning all these dates that fall through so I’m leaving it to him. Any advice?
Here are what netizen thinks:
- Why are you „dating“ someone who doesn‘t even want to spend time with you?
- A lot of people in their early 20s who started dating in their teens feel this sense of obligation to stay in a relationship they may not be happy in anymore due to the comfort and familiarity of being in a relationship in big developmental years (18 going into 20s). I’m assuming that’s what this situation is, and she doesn’t want to rock the boat for her 3 year relationship, even if the alternative is less desirable.
- If you ask long married couples what the secret is to a happy life together, one thing that always comes up is “never stop dating your spouse.”. I don’t think this guy is turning out to be long term material for you.
- My parents are in their 70’s. They cook together, try new things like figuring out the electric cooker I gave them fpr CNY and sending me pictures of what they made. They go out together for a drink or coffee