BF KEEPS GIVING EXCUSE NOT TO MARRY GF, “BUY RING 1ST”, “LOSE WEIGHT 1ST”, “SAVE MONEY 1ST”

How can I (31F) not become bitter about my partner (32m) not wanting to propose yet?

We’ve been dating for over 3 years and living together for 2. I have a 4 year old who has only ever known him as her father (bio dad passed away shortly after I became pregnant). I want to marry this man. He is wonderful, kind, caring, funny, patient, an excellent lover, and a great dad.

But he hasn’t proposed. And each time I’ve brought it up, 4 or 5 times in the last year, he has a different reason for not proposing. From wanting to get me a ring (which I don’t care about. He could propose with a ringpop and I’d be delighted) to wanting more savings, to him wanting to lose weight (I think he’s sexy as hell).

I’m starting to feel myself becoming bitter. I can’t watch movies or TV shows about marriage and weddings and proposals without getting jealous and insecure. I want to be with him for the rest of my life, and I believe he wants that too. I jusylt find myself wondering if he’s ever going to propose or if we’ll always just be dating when I want more.

How do I control my emotions about this? I don’t want to rush him into anything but I don’t want to become bitter either.

Netizens’ comments

1. Maybe he just doesn’t want to marry you.
2. Ok so first let me say I understand. This is a slippery slope. I have never been obsessed with the idea of marriage but after years with SO I began to see some value in it. Bottom line , I want it, SO doesn’t. After 5 years I called it quits. He will be moving out in the next few weeks. I understand not wanting to pressure him as that benefits no one. You also don’t want to linger too long and become resentful. Only you know that balance. Hopefully he feels the way you do and is already a step ahead but if he isn’t there yet (if ever) then you have to consider your next move. Good luck to you!
3. Has he point blank told you he doesn’t want to marry you? If he says he’s not sure then take him at his word and break up. He would know if he wants to marry you by now. So if he hasn’t proposed and your pressuring him hasn’t helped the situation then it’s time to cut the cord and break up. I get he’s the only father your child has ever known but there’s not much you can do about that if he doesn’t want to be a permanent part of your life.