“Last night my gf and I were fooling around in bed. We like being silly, especially when it relates to having relations. The two of us took turns demonstrating how the other person behaves during our intimate times.
My gf went first. She pretended to be me in my most primal state. She flipped me onto my stomach and ‘pushed’ into me from behind to simulate me doing it with her.
She ‘pushed’ into me really fast and really hard before twitching like she’s being electrocuted and rolling over to recover. She was done faster than it took me to finish writing this sentence. Inaccurate. But hilarious.
Then it was my turn to be my gf. Since she mocked me in the position from the back, I decided to do the same to her. So, there I was, face down bottom up without my boxers on. Completely in character.
On top of my exaggerated ‘noises’, I was also biting my bottom lip and spreading my bottom while looking like I’m either experiencing excruciating pain or extreme pleasure.
At that moment my gf was still enjoying my performance. She was laughing and playfully tossing pillows at me. However, it all went downhill when I decided to mimic how my gf talks dirty.
My gf has a lisp, and she stutters. It’s something she’s insecure about, which I understand, but it’s something I love about her because it makes her even more adorable to me.
So, in the heat of the moment, while I was still pretending to be my gf, I switched from making ‘noises’ to screaming at the top of my lungs “YEEETHHH DUH-DUH-DADDY”. My gf stopped laughing. The fun and games came to an abrupt end. Tension took over.
Without wasting any time, I apologised for being dumb and insensitive and promised never to do that again.
In spite of my apology, my gf gave me the cold shoulder and opted to take a Grab back to her house. Nothing I said convinced her not to go. This was supposed to be our weekend alone together. Now I’m all on my own.
This morning I received a message from my gf saying she’s no longer interested in being my plus one at my brother’s upcoming wedding and I should give her some space.”
Image source: Unsplash.com