The Guy 24/M I’m seeing doesn’t want to make our relationship official and I’m 22/F panicking. Should i break things off now or let it be?
So Ive 22/F have been seeing 24/M since January of this year. We haven’t been on dates with anyone else since we went out and have been spending a lot of time together, planning to go on holiday, and briefly met my parents (when he was picking me up to go out).
It’s been 6 months nearly now so I came out and asked him, “how come we aren’t official yet” and he replies with “I have a lot going on at the minute with work and moving house I don’t have the time”
even tho we spend so much time with each other and the way we are together you would think we were actually together, he calls me “the mrs” in front of his mates…
I said it’s just like a label and that it wouldn’t change anything, but he’s adamant he’s not ready. But I’m getting bad vibes, but maybe I’m over thinking it!
Do I break things off with him now as I’m petrified of getting messed around, or go along with the flow and risk getting hurt :(?
Netizens’ comments
- As someone who was in this almost exact situation a year ago—leave him. You’ll find a partner that is so excited to be official with you, but only if you allow room for that person to come in.
- If you want a fling, stay. If you want a relationship, move on. The man doesn’t see you as a girlfriend and another 6 months won’t change that. Don’t chase after people.
- Please leave him. Don’t waste another minute on such an obvious loser who can’t even make your relationship official after 6 freaking months. Better to break up and focus on yourself. There are so many others out there who wouldn’t play around like this and actually love you and commit to you. Don’t allow someone to treat you like second rate.
- I would ask him what he thinks official means and clarify what you think it means.
Maybe you think it means: let’s keep everything the same except we’re checking the monogamy box.
And he thinks it means : exchanging keys, moving in together, creating relationships with each other’s family. Making big life decisions like career choices together. Who knows.
Clarify what level of commitment you both want and where you hope to be down the road. If one of you wants a picket fence and kids in 3 years and the other wants to be 100% career and travel, that’s a good indication on if this is worth continuing. If you’re both still figuring it out but it’s in the same general direction that’s good to know too. - You should tell him that being official is important to you. Ask him when he will be done moving house and when work will calm down. If he’s vague about it, he’s trying to have relationship benefits without commitment. If he cooperates and gives you a timeline of when he’ll be more available, then you can bring it up later.