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Tuesday, May 30, 2023


I looked over at my girlfriend, I felt a wave of hopelessness come over me.


We were in bed, but I had no desire to be there.

We were supposed to be making love, but instead, I was just going through the motions. I felt like I was just doing it to make her happy, and I didn’t want to be in this position.

I tried to push away the feelings of guilt and regret and focus on the moment, but I couldn’t. All I could think about was how much I wished I was with someone else. Someone who could truly make me feel alive and excited. I wanted to be with someone who could make me feel more than just a sense of obligation.

I started to feel anxious about the situation and I knew I had to tell my girlfriend how I was feeling. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth, but before I could say anything, she spoke up.

She said, “You’re just going through the motions, aren’t you?” I was silent for a few moments, and then I nodded my head.


I could feel the disappointment in her voice as she said, “Why don’t you just wish you were with someone else?”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just shook my head. I wanted to tell her that I still loved her and that I wanted to be with her, but I was too afraid. I knew that if I said anything, it would just make things worse.

So instead, I just stayed silent.

We lay in bed together for a few more minutes, and then she got up and left without saying a word. I felt an emptiness in my chest and I knew I had made a mistake. I should have said something and tried to explain how I was feeling.

I thought about the situation for the rest of the night and into the next day. I wanted to tell my girlfriend how I was feeling, but I was scared. I was afraid of losing her if I told her the truth. I finally decided that I had to be honest with her and tell her how I was feeling.

When I finally worked up the courage to talk to my girlfriend, I opened up to her about my thoughts and feelings. I told her that I felt like I was just going through the motions when we were together and that I wished I was with someone else.


At first, she was hurt and angry, but then she looked at me with understanding. She said, “I know it’s not easy, but I’m here for you. I want to make you happy, and if that means you want to be with someone else, then I understand.”

I was shocked and relieved at the same time. I had expected her to be angry and upset, but instead she was being understood and supportive. We talked for a few more minutes and then she hugged me and said, “Let’s just take things one day at a time.”

I hugged her back and thanked her for understanding. I knew that I had made a mistake by not being honest with her, but she was still willing to give me a chance. I knew that if I wanted to make things work between us, I had to be honest and open with her.

The next day, I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go on a date. She smiled and said yes, and we ended up having the best night of our relationship. We talked and laughed and felt like a real couple. We both knew that we had something special, and I was so relieved that I had finally been honest with her.

Deep down I was still pretending to be happy. Did I lose my feelings for her? Sometimes I wish some one would take my place to satisfy her.

Am I wrong?

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