My bf (M35) of one year suggested he take me (F32) for a Brazilian wax as a ‘date’ idea. How do I tell him he made me feel uncomfortable?
Background: I asked my bf if we could start going on more dates together. Over the past months, I’ve felt like he’s stopped planning anything for us. I can’t remember the last time we went out for dinner or he surprised me. Things have been feeling stagnant.
So I suggested things like a painting or cooking class, spa day etc. He seemed uninterested in what I was saying and said he can’t really afford any of those options. I do understand that as he’s a full time student atm. But then he suggested he take me to get a wax (Brazilian).
At first I laughed it off and said ‘when you do!’. But I was genuinely upset at the comment. He later told me he was ‘just joking’. (For context, I do trim a couple of times a week).
Now he’s been annoyed and standoffish since I brought the date ideas up. He said he doesn’t like being told what to do, that things should happen “organically” and he feels he’s not enough.
I’ve tried to explain this is my love language and the dates don’t have to be expensive. He responded that he took me for “burgers” 3 months ago and that was him making an effort.
I feel uncomfortable that he commented on my body like this. I feel like I’m asking too much of him. How do I get him to understand that I value and need quality time in a relationship?
Netizens’ comments
- I don’t see the point in dating someone who refuses to go on dates with you.
- When you find a BETTER boyfriend, you’ll be kicking yourself for months that you wasted this much time with this POS!
The only thing you should be ripping out by the roots is this relationship! You can find a guy who’s interested in life, in events, in experiences. It ain’t this guy! - So he refuses to go on dates with you but then plans a painful one that implies he doesn’t like your lady bits as they are, to enhance his own experience in bed? Then he turns it around and tries to guilt you by saying he doesn’t feel like he’s enough?
What kind of garbage is this? Maybe he isn’t enough.