I (26f) have been with my bf (27m) for 3 years, the amount of times we make love is poor and infrequent. I’m not sure what I should do?
We have had many conversations about it and what I like / he likes and regardless how I go about the conversation he becomes defensive and offended.
After being together the first few months he told me he doesn’t like to give oral and so he doesn’t do it and I in turn said I won’t do it because it’s not fair.
The while thing is very much like a transaction with him, its never serious or passionate. It’s always the same, we arrange a time to get intimate with each other, meet in the room, take our own clothes off, get into bed, barely any kissing or foreplay and then just gets to it.
I have asked him many times for more foreplay but he will do it once but will fall back into the same routine. I want spontaneity, fun and passion. But I don’t get any of that and it’s been 3 years.
On average we f about once or twice a month (we live together with no kids). I am unsure if I should leave due to the intimacy being poor and if I do, I am unsure what to say.
I don’t want to hurt his feelings and the other aspects of our relationship is good but it’s just the bedroom part. I have tried lingerie and making the first move but he will always turn me down.
Netizens’ comments
Well, here’s the reality that you laid out.
- You have a high libido, he has a low libido
- He doesn’t satisfy you in bed and he won’t get better, because he doesn’t accept feedback
- You currently have no kids, so this is about as good as it’s gonna get
- The whole thing is very transactional to him and lacks passion.
Unless you want to have a bad sex life for the rest of your life it’s pretty clear that you have to leave him.