I broke up with my bf because I refused to pay his mom rent
I (23f) and my bf(24m) have been dating for 3 years. It’s been pretty smooth and up until now I could see us having a future together.
We thought we would take it to the next step and move in together. And when I say move in together, I meant get an apartment together.
He thought that meant I move into his parents house and live in his bedroom with him. That was the point of moving in together was to get AWAY from our parents.
I laughed when he brought that up to me, but when I realized he was being serious I told him that’s not an option for me.
I’m done living with parents and if he doesn’t want to I understand and we can wait till he’s ready, but I don’t want to wait much longer and if it’s a money thing I’m more than willing to help him save. He said he would think about it and look over his financial plan.
A couple days later he said he talked to his parents and that his mom said it would be okay if I moved in but she’d expect me to pay rent. He won’t pay rent, but she’d expect me to pay $600 a month PLUS another $100 on groceries.
I work at at restaurant and eat there 95% of the time so there’s no reason to spend $100 on groceries. I’d be paying for THEM to eat.
I told my BF that’s ridiculous and I refuse and that he’s the only one who benefits from that deal. He refused to budge because he doesn’t want to spend money and rather freeload off his parents for as long as he could. He threatened to break up with me over this to which I just said “that’s fine. I can easily afford a place to myself and although I wish you would be there with me, I understand that you’re not ready to let go of mommy’s hand”.
I also told him that if I have to get a place he won’t be living there since he wants to be with mommy so bad, and if he wants to live with me he’ll have to split half of rent.
He tried to reason with me about spending the nights at my hypothetical apartment to which I said no and I’ll start looking for myself and if he wants he can pay rent.
I can easily afford to pay for a $1200 by myself so the money isn’t the issue, it’s the audacity. If we split rent it would only be $600-700 for him too, he can easily afford it but he doesn’t want to.
He told me that’s not fair to make him pay and k told him it’s not fair if I’m the only one who has to pay $700 and I don’t even have a place to myself.
I think I broke his heart and now I’m feeling bad. I love him but this made me see some red/yellow flags I overlooked and I’m not sure he is the right guy for me.
I’m also pretty sure his mom doesn’t like me so this was a way to break us apart so if that’s the case she wins