I have been with my boyfriend for like 2 and half years and recently he has been going to play poker like almost every weekend. Sometimes even on the weekdays.
We have argued until a point where I’m getting tired. If i dont allow him to go, he would get mad. So usually to avoid argument, i just let him go.
Idk its normal that your partner can just go gamble and leave you alone on the weekend.
One time he was feeling upset and actually told me he wanted to go play poker. But I’m like if you’re upset, you can talk to me and we can spend time together.
If you’re upset, but you’re thinking of gambling rather than coming to me, am I even important?
Idk what to do as I’m too comfortable with him. I stay at his place most of the time. He would sometimes ask me to go together, but i really dislike people who gamble. So I don’t usually follow.
The worst part is, he kinda got to know those other poker players through me. Kinda regret intro-ing them in the first place.
I feel like he’s getting addicted but whenever I mention this, he would deny it and gaslight me. He doesn’t like the word ‘addicted’. Last time he would gamble only during cny, but now, saying “Oh festive season. Once in a while.” Now – idk what to say.
I feel so tired arguing over this. I mentioned to him I wanted to break this off but he would question me about breaking off over such a “small matter”.
He actually treats me quite nice and always pays attention to me. He surprises me sometimes with gifts and dotes on me a lot. I just dislike this particular part of him. Idk what to do. Is this a small matter? Or every couple experiences the same thing?
Netizens’ comments
- Poker isn’t gambling…
From what I have seen, better off having him on the poker table than out drinking, clubbing, womanizing, going on “golf trips” etc. Someone who has been hanging around poker players since 2007 - Wise words from my grandmother, don’t marry a gambler. That aside, poker isn’t 100% gambling (or so the poker players always say), but I think your issue isn’t about gambling or even poker anymore.
It’s about compromising your wants in a relationship, and if he isn’t willing to communicate and negotiate, he doesn’t respect the relationship nor you. End of the story.
(in parallel, a girl cld be spending tonnes of money and time star-chasing (or anything else for that matter) without caring about the bf’s complaints. The underlying issue and resolution will be the same.) - It’s a phase. Will grow out of it one. Just go with him la. Also spending time what.