Just came back from Bangkok and need to post this warning for anyone heading over soon.
Was walking around the night market area near Pratunam with my wife. Smelled barbecue seafood, saw a stall with decent crowd, decided to sit down for a quick dinner. Ordered two dishes and asked for a steamed mud crab.
Now, a bit of background: I actually speak fluent conversational Thai (my wife’s family is from Thailand, so I’ve been picking it up for years). But whenever I’m ordering food or taking transport over there, I usually just keep quiet and speak basic English first. It’s a habit—I like to listen to what the locals are saying in the background to see if everything is legit.
So the waiter brings over a live mud crab in a bucket, weighs it, and says in English: “Sir, very fresh, 1.2kg. Special price for you, 4,000 Baht per kilo!”
I looked at him, then looked at the scale. 4,000 Baht per kg? That’s almost $150 SGD a kilo. Even in Singapore seafood restaurants, high-grade mud crab doesn’t hit that kind of ridiculous night-market price.
Before I could even speak, the waiter turns to his colleague behind the grill and chuckles in fast Thai: “Chiang maew, farang nee mai roo roo-ra, ped ruka ni hai man noi” (Easy target, this foreigner doesn’t know anything, just push this price on him).
I literally let out a quiet sigh.
I looked the waiter dead in the eye, dropped my English, and hit him with rapid-fire street Thai: “Nong, 4,000 Baht per kilo for mud crab? Khai hua ku rue ngai? Even in Siam Paragon it’s not this expensive lah. You think I born yesterday ah? Market rate at Huai Khwang is at most 800 to 1,000 Baht. Don’t try to play me ‘farang price’.”
The waiter’s face immediately turned pale. His mouth was literally half open. The guy at the grill stopped flipping his fish and just stared over.
The waiter started stammering in Thai: “Oh… Hia, sorry, sorry! I read the wrong price list! For you, local price, 900 Baht per kg!” From 4,000 down to 900 in three seconds flat.
I just canceled the crab order completely, paid for the drinks, and walked off to eat somewhere else.
Moral of the story: ALWAYS ask for the price per 100g/kg before they cook it, ensure the menu has written numbers, and don’t assume they won’t try to chop heads just because a stall looks crowded. If a price sounds ridiculous, walk away immediately.