When I was 14 I found out my dad stepped out on my mom and got another woman pregnant when I was a baby, so I have a half-sister I’d never met. My mom found out when she realized he was making child support payments, and she kicked him out for a few weeks but she eventually forgave him on the condition that he never contacts the “affair baby” (her words) and she never has to hear about or see her.
I’d grown up the youngest of the family with 4 older brothers so little 14yo me was just excited to have a) a sister and b) a younger sister at that. I begged my dad to get me in contact with her and eventually he gave me her name so I could look her up on social media. Turns out she knew already she had half-siblings, her mom was pretty open with her about the situation, and she had always been pretty curious to know us, so she was happy to be in contact with me.
I gave my mom a heads up that I was talking to my half-sister and she was obviously very unhappy about it and said she just didn’t want to know about it. My half-sister and I became really close, I didn’t tell my mom about it, it was weird but we made it work. Fast forward 6 years and both me and my half-sister were starting to think about moving out of the home. We both felt like the most obvious thing to do was get a place together, since we both needed a housemate at the same time in the same area, and we were so close, but with my mom’s issues with her, we weren’t sure.
Eventually, I just bit the bullet and asked my mom how she’d feel if I moved in with my half sister. Again she was obviously not thrilled about it but said she’d be fine with it as long as she doesn’t have to see or hear anything about my sister. I took that to mean if I wanted to spend time with my mom I’d just go visit home or we’d go out somewhere together. After we moved in, I found out my mom meant she wanted to come visit me sometimes and she wanted me to either have my sister leave or hide in her room for that time.
She’s acting like I should have known that without her telling me, and she’s upset with me that I refuse to kick my sister out of her own flat or make her hide like Harry Potter, “I’ll be in my room, making no noise, and pretending I don’t exist”. It turns out she’s also mad at me for moving in with her in the first place, apparently, I was supposed to know that when she insisted she’d be fine with it, she actually wanted me to not do it.
Here is what netizens think:
- Think your mom needs marriage counseling and therapy. She “forgave” your father but faulted his child when it wasn’t her fault. Guess she thought that by pretending the child didn’t exist, her marriage isn’t broken and her family remains whole.
- My grandmother did this and my grandfather didn’t even cheat. He was married before he met her and had kids together. When he got with my grandma, she banned him from seeing the kids or contacting them. I didn’t even know I had other aunts and uncles until he passed away. My mom’s two half brothers wanted nothing to do with him after he cut them off like that, but my mom’s half sister was devastated because before that, she was a daddy’s girl. Neither of my grandparents were good people, but I never understood how she could punish literal children for her own jealousy.
- My husband cheated on me and got a young woman, 10 years younger than our sons, pregnant. Our marriage ended despite his protests because it was not his first time to cheat. He ended up marrying the young female. We have a grandchild that was born two months after this child was born and they are the best of friends. I see her at birthday parties, I hear about her through the other grandchildren, etc