Guys, serious question. My wife currently high maintenance level maximum. Everyday standard must drink $8 artisanal oat milk latte, weekend must go cafe hopping, and every few months ask me when taking her to Japan. My bank account crying every single day.
I was browsing Carousell just now to clear some old clothes, then suddenly one lightbulb go off in my head. If people can list pre-loved designer bags to downgrade or trade for cash, why cannot list pre-loved wife?
Think about it leh. Technically still in good condition, mild usage, fully functional, zero structural damage (just short temper only). I can put the listing title as:
“Pre-loved Wife (2018 Model). Condition 8/10. Looks good, original parts, comes with full set BTO keys. Reason for selling: Looking to downgrade to lower-maintenance model.”
Then in the description I write down all the features:
- Speaks 2.5 languages (English, Singlish, 50% Mandarin when angry).
- High-speed nag function (works 24/7 without charging).
- Good at finding parking space.
- Free gift: Comes with whole cupboard of clothes you cannot throw.
I figure if I list her for $0, maybe someone willing to take over the subscription fees. Or better yet, maybe can do 1-to-1 exchange? Looking for low-maintenance, budget-friendly option. Ideal trade condition: Drinks $1.50 Kopi C Siew Dai, happy with hawker center cai fan (fish optional), doesn’t care about bubble tea top-ups.
Only issue now is the Carousell category. Should I put under “Home & Living”, “Electronics & Gadgets” (because of the voice activation), or “Services”?
Also, what if buyer ask for deal via Carousell Pay? Do I need to provide 7-day warranty or personal guarantee? What if they test halfway then request return/refund because “item not as described, nag sound too loud”?
Also, if she catches me typing this, please help to deliver my direct fast deal to the nearest hospital ward.
Lowballers will be blocked. Meetup strictly at my void deck, buyer must bring own transport. Fast deal today can give free NTUC vouchers. Serious buyers only, PM me fast!