Boyfriend throws a fit when I’m not in the mood for sex

My (27f) boyfriend (40m) just came over the other day and we were watching stranger things, he starts nodding off, so I recommended he take a shower and go to bed.

I’m laying in bed, he gets on top of me and wanted to have intercourse, I say I’m not in the mood. He goes berserk.

Claims it’s not normal to not want to hop right onto your partner after not seeing them for a while (it was like a week) and we were about to go to bed anyway.

I love him very much and am definitely attracted to him, but every time I’m not in the mood and he is, he claims I’m not attracted to him and that “he isn’t an idiot” and “has been here before.”

Am I missing something? Every relationship is more intimate in the beginning, it wanes down a little bit once you’re in a serious relationship.

Plus I’m moving in with him in 2 weeks, I’m broke, I’m going back to school, going through a friend breakup, and am having family issues.

It feels like he has no regard at all for the stress I have going on in my life. Intimacy is absolutely not a priority for me right now, and so no, I am not in the mood too much lately.

It feels like he’s taking out his own insecurities on me, and I’m not sure I can deal with this long term. Thoughts?

Just what it says. I’ve been interested in someone. He’s 40 yo. Lives at home. I have recently found out that he takes money from his parents. Not monthly allowance but every 3-4 months one of his parents’ FD accounts matures and they ‘give’ him the interest. It’s over $8k each time.

He works part-time like 30 hours a week (more like 15 cos he only works when there is assignments, most of the time he is on standby)cos he wants more time to pursue his hobbies. He takes home around $2k per month. His company has asked him many times to take more hours but he doesn’t want to.

He doesn’t give his parents any money though he lives in their flat and his mum buys everything for him including vitamins, daily food and snacks, all his meals, soap, shampoo, etc. He doesn’t do any chores.

His parents even gave him the master bedroom cos he is now ‘grown up’. They are middle class, his mum still works but wakes up early every morning to make or heat up a huge breakfast for him and usually buys his dinner. He will skip lunch so he has more disposable income for hobbies.

Personality-wise he’s fun, easy to take to and we have a similar sense of humour and hobbies. I enjoy his company alot.

But long term, do you think someone like this would make a good partner? I’m concerned that a 40yo guy who has never been responsible for himself and spends all his earnings on expensive hobbies, well he hasn’t ‘proven’ himself to be responsible yet.

Some examples of his behaviour with me are forgetting to pay me back when I pay for meals, offering to buy me dinner at coffee shops but when we share a normal meal that is 50-50 he will want to go to cafes and restaurants, he won’t attend movies or plays or music shows with me if it’s something he doesn’t like, unless I buy his ticket cos he doesn’t want to pay for stuff that he’s just going to keep me company. He will usually announce something that he’s interested in and ask me if I have time to book cos he’s busy, yet I work longer hours than him. He doesn’t send me home unless it is convenient for him ie not a detour at all.

I feel that I’m being so money minded and calculative by thinking this way. But at the same time I feel that he wants to find someone who is like his mother, always supplementing his lifestyle with money and labour??

Got laid for the first time in 10 months and it opened the floodgates. What do I do?

I (23M) have a not-very-close friend (25?F) who seemed like a good candidate for a FWB relationship. She seemed intelligent and trustworthy and not unattractive, but all the conversations we have are really flat and uninteresting.

One time I was driving her home from an event and she asked if I wanted to come in. I was totally not expecting it, and she seemed kinda drunk at the time, so I said no.

Two weeks later I asked if that offer was still on the table and we ended up doing it. It was… okay? Turns out women still feels really good, and she seemed to enjoy it a lot!

There was some weird stuff though:

1. the smell was fairly strong. I’m pretty sure I could smell her private parts as I was using her bathroom before we even had f-ed!
2. She made the same exact noise in a constant rhythm as I was thrusting. It was like I was hitting a button on each thrust, and it felt really fake.
3. After round 1 we found an M&M in her bed and she ate it??? (Yes I still went for round 2… I was already there, after all 😐)
4. She said she wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship because of some stuff she had to work through but “she would be open to” a romantic relationship with me

After the first nut, I had massive post-nut clarity and asked myself, “What am I doing here? I’m not interested in this person at all, just her body.”

She was my second partner, my first being a GF of 2 years. I realized I was kissing someone with whom I shared no emotional attachment, and that bothered me. But after cuddling for a while I got hard again and decided to get one for the road 🤪

At first I told her I’d have to see about hooking up again, because I felt really weird about my first time doing casual.

I got home and texted her that I didn’t think the whole FWB thing was for me. I laughed at and with myself about the whole experience and thought that would be the end of it. I was wrong.

I was in the mood again by noon the next day, and two days later I was so insanely turned on for several hours that I had leak through my underwear AND my shorts.

Thankfully I had a hoodie to hide the stain as I walked to the bathroom to get cleaned up! I felt like testosterone incarnate. It was genuinely scary!

I was so desperate I debated telling her I wanted to try again. I was 95% sure she’d say yes, and available (albeit odd) f-ing is still tempting.

I’ve also thought about Tinder to find a partner who I’m at least a bit more interested in, but when I tried serious dating on Hinge I got basically no interest and I don’t expect Tinder to be better.

Or I’m wondering if I should just move on and forget it all happened, even though I’ll still see this person about once a week elsewhere in my life.

There’s more to life after all. It just sucks because it’s a part of me that I might just be putting back on the shelf for months, if not years. But it’s so much more emotionally fulfilling with a real connection.

Ok, I have this very insecure GF which is a bit crazy due to her history of many many cheating boyfriends who are mostly ah beng ah seng ah kow ah neow.

She is currently staying with me and I’m going nuts.

She told me that all her ex has cheated on her and demanded me to wear a charity cage when I leave home. So I basically have a birdcage on my bird when I go office or go down NTUC to buy groceries.

After a week it started to get irritating and itchy and I told her I did not want to wear it anymore, she immediately accused me that I have plans to cheat on her and said that If I leave home without the cage she would leave me.

I am many things but I am not a man that takes kindly to threats. So I decided to leave home and went to NTUC go get a bag of potato chips. I did it on purpose because not only she forces me to cage up my bird but also she wants me to diet with her.

It don’t make sense for me to diet with her as I am already very skinny.

I came back and saw her crying, she started to shout and scream at me saying I have gone out to find other girls.

I replied her: “I was out for less than 15mins, You think I have time to take off my pants, do it and put it back in time ah”

After that I ignored her watching some anime and eating the potato chips.

She said: Now you really don’t care for me, You even stop dieting with me.

I told her: If you were not so fat in the first place, maybe ur ex won’t cheat on you.

That was the last straw and she left my home and we broke up. I was so happy and I called grab food to order a bucket or friend chicken and watch some shows on my PC.

I (26F) have been dating an amazing guy G (49M) for the past 8 months. He has a razor sharp wit, impeccable manners and is always the life of the party. Although he’s no Tom Cruise in terms of looks, he is in pretty good shape for his age and is always well-groomed and put together (definitely my cup of tea!).

He is also very successful career-wise as the APAC head of operations in a big MNC. He has made me as happy as a girl can be in the time we have been together, and I feel like he could be the Mr Darcy to my Elizabeth, the Richard Gere to my Julia Roberts.

G has always said that he’s a family man, and he is 100% certain that he would want to have children of his own (at least 3!). I know he loves children as he is the favourite uncle of all his nieces and nephews, and spends a fair bit of time helping them with schoolwork and taking them out to fun places. However, there’s just one thing that I’ve been puzzling over- if G seems like such a great catch and if he wants to start his own family so badly, why is he still unmarried? Weirdly, he doesn’t seem to be in too much of a hurry although he’s almost approaching his 50s. He has given me no reason not to trust him, so I believe him when he says he’s never had any children of his own or been married before.

Should I approach him directly to ask him why he’s never married and has no children?

I don’t want to make him uncomfortable or come off as rude, and I definitely don’t want to scare him off, but I just find it hard to believe that such a charming man has never found himself a bride. Should I give him more time and wait to see if he opens up to me by himself?

We’ve joked off-hand a few times about what our children might be like and the kind of house we’d like to buy together, but perhaps they were said in jest, idk. I hope I’m not getting too carried away, but if he asked me to marry him today, I’d honestly say yes in a heartbeat. Dear reader, pray tell- am I being foolish?

Growing up, I was taught to prioritize accountability, responsibility, and hard work. “Let actions speak louder than words,” has always been my core belief. However, after spending a couple of decades in the workforce, I’ve realized that good things come to those who take them, rather than those who wait. If you want it, ask for it, and take it. Most importantly, saying no to most people and standing firm in those decisions is paramount. I’ve spent my fair share of overnight hours and weekends laboring to build someone else’s castle. I was known for my hardworking and accountable attitude. All my colleagues knew that I wouldn’t give up until the last minute. If someone quit and no one else could pick up their work? People knew I would take it on, ensuring no delays. But I suppose, I won’t be taken advantage of anymore. It’s time to build my own castle instead of others’. If your castle falls because of your poor planning, I ain’t going down with you, for I know I can always build my own castle, anywhere, anytime.

And for those just starting out in the workforce, know that your relationship with your job is purely transactional/ give & take. There’s no such thing as you’re blessed by the employer with the job. They need something from you i.e your skills/capabilities thus they give you the role.

Here are what netizens think:

• Being transactional at work is not a bad thing. It prevents/limits one from getting too emotionally attached with the job. The job is not one’s identity. One does not stop one’s role as a spouse, parent or child after leaving or changing jobs. That’s the wrong perception to have.

• Nothing wrong with accountability, responsibility and hardwork, for me we are paid to work, so long work i can get it done within the 8 hours, i am fine. I had been a pain to the management, i always challenge their unfairness and injustice and even though i am really really good with everything i did, they will throw works to me last minute when other colleagues were assigned but cannot make it. I am ok with no promotion for years as i know i don’t suck up with them. I completed tasks that were meant for people who are much higher ranks than me and I am proud of myself. I live by my principles with no regrets. Life is never fair and that is life, we cannot control others but we can take charge of ourself.

• Colleagues who prioritise accountability, hard work and responsibility make the workplace, a place we spend most of our waking hours, a much better, happier, safer, and less hostile environment.

• That’s the reason why they said work smart, not hard

Beware of Samsung Service Center at Plaza Sing

I’m using a Samsung Galaxy Fold 4 and having an issue where the WiFi would not toggle on. This is my second device as the previous device had the same issue and even worse, bluetooth could not toggle on and inner screen was dead.

I brought my device in to Samsung Center at Plaza Sing and the Store Manager told me that the device warranty is voided as I have dents on the top and bottom part of the middle hinge.

He mentioned that I can use my 2 yrs Samsung Care to just pay $100 instead of $600 plus. I told him the issue is WiFi cannot toggle on and not that I want to claim for cosmetic damage.

He said that if no cosmetic damage to the hinge, it will be under warranty. I pointed out that my previous device had dent as I remembered that I came with dented hinge and came out with fresh device.

He showed me that it was not mentioned in the report. He kept showing me the Terms and Condition that the warranty does not cover cosmetic damage.

I told him I understand, I’m claiming for the wifi issue and not cosmetic damage. I told him to show me where it states that he can void the warranty due to cosmetic damage.

He had the cheek to say it’s applicable to all devices. I noticed in the report that the first symptom mentioned is Physical damage and dent instead of WiFi.

I asked him why is the first thing you report is physical damage instead of wifi. Then he said it is to justify why they void the warranty.

I was fuming, instead of sending to the engineers to check whether within warranty, you decide yourself to void it and make me pay $100 for it?

This experience is really a contrast of my first warranty claim where it was smooth and easy. I remember still praising them (the same service center) in another thread.

Conclusion, not gonna buy another Fold device. And no, I did not send in my device yet.

Similar news

I have been single for all my life (25 years, male). I have tried dating apps for around 2 years now, and while I do get some matches (one per month on average), I think the problem is me because I can never seem to get out of the talking stage.

I have only been on 1 date my whole life. The pandemic did make finding people outside of apps difficult, but even now as I try social groups etc the people there just aren’t in my age range.

How does, or should, one acquiesce in the fact that one may never be able to find a partner?

A lot of people tell me being single is great: I have freedom, I can save money etc, that I should just wait for the right one and she will come eventually, that I should embrace my singlehood, that I should love myself more and all the typical things that people in a relationship will tell their single friends etc etc.

I just feel so lonely and sad. But the reason why I desire a companion is because I’m not close to my family and my friends rarely entertain me anymore (due to school/work/presence of girlfriend etc).

I suppose in life, there are some things that one just cannot have… For a good education at NUS and a stable, high-paying job in the civil service, I seem to have traded all that in in return for not having a love life (or rather, an ugly face).

My job is highly demanding and stressful and I’m just so afraid I’ll go crazy if I don’t have an outlet/supportive network to seek.

So I guess my main questions is: How would/should one acquiesce in not being able to find a partner for emotional support?

Editor’s note: For the readers, “acquiesce” means to accept something reluctantly.

Hey this is not a troll post so moderator please don’t filter this away as I really need some advices. Please pardon the bad grammars

Background info: i am 21F & I have a bf who is 23M. We are both in university & we reside in residential halls/college. We would spend time together during the weekends & I would go over to his rc to stayover

My boyfriend’s love language are physical touch & quality time while mine are the complete opposite.

Whenever I’m sleeping, he would touch me inappropriately on my upper part of my body which made me feel really uncomfortable. I was woken up by the act multiple times & I tried covering up but to no avail as he would eventually try to reach out as much as he could & I felt really violated.

FYI we have not reached the stage to do all these hanky panky yet but it is the fact that there wasn’t any consent & it was done when I’m sleeping. I tried brushing this matter off but this incident is still etched in my mind even after 5 months. I have yet to confront him with regards to this matter. Guys, what should I do if you were me?

Here are what netizens think:

• I have friends who date for 8 years and 10 years and they broke up before getting a BTO.Don’t use the duration of your relationship as a measure of your commitment level

• Couples quarrel is normal but also depends on situation. Since u both can resolve it means ure good. Arguments will never end but as long as u two talked through it, it’ll be fine. Just dont argue too extreme

• The period doesn’t matter, as long as both agree and feel comfortable to try. We started balloting for a flat after dating for 6 months. I was the one who suggested it.

• Many years ago i heard from a friend who was in her 60yo that rs about 2 years then get married. Since u feel insecured about your bf. Think thru. Getting bto is as good as rom. Wait till then many things to argue from renovation to wedding to giving birth

Colleagues who are not pulling their weight

Just a rant…I have colleagues who are frequently on sick leave or excused from meetings because their family members (it can be anyone from children to adults) suddenly fell sick and they needed to rush home to take care of them.

Granted we want to take care of the staff welfare so they are always allowed to take the leave (to the extent the management will proudly exclaim that they will let them take the leave without any question asked) but lately it has become obvious that some are taking advantage of the situation.

Also, this is definitely not showing welfare to those who take their work seriously and show up every day because they are expected to pick up the slack and take over the workload. This is basically just punishing people who are earnest and responsible.

Does this issue happen at your workplace? How does the management at your workplace handle this issue?

But what I have noticed is once you are branded as the hardworking ones and you try to take such leave, people will mark you down more compared to those who skived blatantly.

Yet another time responsible people are being penalised over those who don’t even have integrity and do their work properly

Netizens’ comments

1. Eh come on man.. have some sympathy… put yourself in their shoes ok??
   How would YOU feel if your grandma’s uncle’s big brother passed away for the 3rd time this year already????
2. Either suck it up or change company.
   Culture doesn’t change overnight and culture starts at the top. You are powerless at your level to change a company’s culture.
3. This is something u voice out to ur manager, if the dead weight impacts u. For manager to tell u that they are aware and ensuring u are equitably treated, give u more bonus or hire more ppl etc