Let me start by saying this: while we haven’t been dating for too long, I will say she has got to be one of the most loving and genuine people I have ever met. I’ve never seen or had a hint of her behavior eventually turning out like this and I’m kind of disgusted right now.

We met up at my apartment and decided that we were both starving so we went to go get some food. Fast forward to us getting there, we pull up to the drive-through and she’s got the music blasting all the way up until the employee starts our order.

She immediately rang off her order not giving the dude a chance to plug it into the system and I say “dang, give him a minute”. I work in the restaurant industry so I know how annoying it is for people to order like that.

We then pull up to the window and the cashier hands her the drinks and when they hand her hers, she’s like “uhh? I order a large. That don’t look like a large.”

In a rude tone. The cashier says it is, and she’s going on about how they need bigger cups and whatnot. At this point I’m starting to get embarrassed that she’s talking to him like that, and I just sit back in my seat.

Then she’s asks for sauces and apparently the restaurant implemented a new policy about giving away too many sauces and he’s trying to tell her that and she’s like “well then just double up on the ranch and honey mustard, and one of the other ones” which is pretty much exactly what the guy explained he can’t do but he gave it to her anyway to avoid the conflict. She didn’t even say thank you when we left.

On the ride back home I tell her “you didn’t have to have an attitude with the guy. He said it was store policy there’s nothing he can do about it, he just works there.” then she says she didn’t think she was being rude and apologizes to me and but my blood is boiling from embarrassment so the ride home is silent. When we get home she is mad bc I confronted her about it and decides she wants to go home.

All I can think about is how she complains about rude customers at her job but then turns around and does this then has the nerve to get mad that she got called out on her nonsense. I don’t even know if I want to continue seeing her at this point. I literally cannot be with someone who is so rude to someone just trying to do their job but on the other hand, I’m hoping this was a one-off thing and I don’t know if I should apologize for confronting her like that..

I’m skinny and boyfriend watches SUPER CURVY “videos” of other women (24F, 22M)

Let me start by saying I’m naturally very slim and I struggle to put on weight. My bra size is an A cup, and my bottom half is nothing special either.

I never gave it much thought, until my first boyfriend broke up with me. He cheated on me, and when I asked him why, he proceeded to tell me (and I quote) “Your body doesn’t turn me on. By the time you’re 21, your shape will fill out and be perfect.”

Well, I’ve passed 21 now, and I still look the same as when I was 16. Over the years, I’ve heard similar insulting comments many times over by men, and hearing “you’re not hot” in all its wonderful forms has really driven my confidence into the dirt. But enough with my sob story.

I found a wonderful partner, and I’ve been dating him for nearly a year. I was afraid to get naked with him, but eventually with his reassurance, I felt less insecure. Recently though, we don’t “do it” as often, it has gotten significantly less frequent and when we do he takes longer to finish.

Around this time, I also noticed he was taking extremely long trips to the bathroom while we were in the middle of hanging out together. Out of concern, I asked if everything was okay, and he told me he’s been constipated (how lovely)… I took that at face value for a while.

After weeks of this, I got curious and listened by the bathroom door while he was in there and heard moaning on his phone. I’m not against playing with yourself, but I found it insulting that when we were literally in the middle of watching a movie and eating dinner together, he left to go do that.

That brings us to today… I was sitting at our desk opening some bills and he told me I can pay them on his phone, which isn’t unusual for us since he has the apps to do it. Usually, he has no tabs open but THIS TIME as you can probably guess, there was a big old “video” staring me in the face.

The woman in it had a MAMMOTH chest and ass. The polar opposite of my physique.

I had this sick feeling in my stomach, and impulsively pressed the history button. You know that feeling when you know it’s bad, but you can’t stop?

I scrolled and scrolled. And there is was displayed. Day after day, week and week of videos and ALL of the women (literally every single one) had the same body type. Cartoonishly proportioned ultra voluptuous curves.

Clearly he has a type.

I haven’t mentioned the bathroom or the phone situation to him. I’ve put on a smile and tried to pull myself together but it stings a lot.

I would have felt a bit better if the women were varied: you know some thin, some curvy, some in between. But he actively searches for that body type every time.

I’m back to feeling rejected, not good enough, and ultimately not sexy.

I’m tempted to let him be free and find someone who really gets his motors running, since that’s what he’s apparently lusting for, but we otherwise have a great connection and loving towards each other so I’m torn.

I’m in need of some advice on how to proceed. It may sound silly but I’m really heartbroken about this discovery given my past. Male and female perspectives appreciated.

my bf [M26] and I [F24] moved in together but wants me to only “see” him on weekends..

Some backstory: My boyfriend is an extreme introvert and I try to be mindful of this.

When we moved in together we made sure he has his own room so that he has a space of his own, and he hangs out in there 95% of the time.

I understand that people generally are a drain on him emotionally and I have zero issues with giving him space!

But this is getting out of hand..

It became don’t come in when the door is closed. He said “if the door is closed pretend I’m not home”

Ok weird, but whatever. Except he never comes out. Right now he is unemployed and I am working so I’m barely home anyways.

After falling asleep alone last night again, this morning I asked him if we can do something fun once I get home (he likes it when I give him “warning”)

he begins to melt down saying it’s normal for couples to not talk for days at a time and since we spend weekends together I am being too much.

it’s just hard for me to keep feelings when he shuts me out.

This is insane right? I don’t think I’m asking for too much. I am content in my own company but I feel lonely after 2 months of this.

He wants me to “compromise” but his compromise is him getting his way. I just want my partner to be there for me sometimes.

He says I should be happy with him greeting me when I get home and then weekend interaction

Writing all this out feels insane. I feel like I’m being gaslit, please help.

Got married about a year ago. I understand why now our birth rate is so low. Singapore is already one of the most stressed countries in the world.

Coupled with long working hours (again a country with one of the longest working hours), cost of living etc etc. Why is everything here so rigid and conventional?

Work end 6pm but if you leave on the dot, people look at you one kind. Hybrid Work was a norm and now companies are reverting back. Many developed countries had such hybrid Work even before covid while SG had it bcse it had no choice during covid and now they are just reversing it back. Like why can’t we have a breather or some flexibility in this country? Everywhere is rush, everything is serious.

Sch is so competitive and kids as young as 3-4yo are starting with enrichment classes. The cost is insane. How do we young couples even think of having a child? Even a graduate salary (lower tier) for myself and my wife is so hard to sustain. People will say don’t like then migrate.

Why shud I? I was born here and so were my parents. It just feels like a top down cultural/traditional mindset that isn’t changing.

Here are what netizens think:

• Excuses. I have 3 kids. The only thing we gave up was alone time. But it’s up to us to make it work. Sneak in a few dates when they go tuition. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible. The rest of the spending all depends on ur own wants. All children want to play and not go for courses and tuition. It’s always the parents.

• Try and pull down the expectations a little – kids are only expensive if you insist they go Mindchamps instead of PAP. Go kids clinic instead of polyclinic. Instead of focusing on WHY your world sucks, focus on HOW you can make your world better. Not saying it’s easy, but sometimes you gotta stop following the system and create your own path. (Started my own biz, because I couldn’t tahan corporate world. Not easy in early years, but now found back my time) As someone wise once told me… “if you can’t find a solution, you aren’t being creative enough.” So stop looking at Facebook and see your Friends post only the “good side” of their lives. Set realistic expectations, don’t have to benchmark against your ex-classmates, live your own life. I wish you happiness.

• Must go enrichment classes meh? I’m a tutor myself, but I can tell you for sure, many kids don’t NEED extra classes, it’s a WANT. I need food, I pay $4 for a meal. I want wagyu beef, I pay $40 for a slice.

• Life is what u make out to be. Your environment can either be a bonus or a curse. To be born in SG, where you can get anything you want within reach, for me is a bonus. But that comes with a price, your effort. Don’t expect good things without effort. You want a good life, you need to put in the time and effort. If you are complaining about why life is so tough at the age of 20+….I just have to say you have no idea what truly tough life is. At the end of the day, no matter where u live, effort will determine where you are in life

Eh bro, you ever feel like you working every single day… but still cannot breathe? This uncle at kopitiam near my block just now, wah, suddenly pour heart out until I also emo sia.

He say he 39 this year. Work IT one, salary not bad, got about $6K per month. But hor, the stress? Through the roof. Every day wake up, not because he want to, but because he have to.

“Bro, sometimes I sit at my desk and think — I working just for my HDB and my children leh. My own life? Long ago disappear already.”

The speed of money

He say when young still single, work is tiring lah, but at least still got time go out, chill, spend a bit. Now got kids? Different story liao. Every dollar come in, go out faster than ERP gantry. Diaper, milk powder, CC fees, enrichment class — all like subscription one, but no cancel button sia.

And the HDB? Wah. He say just paying off the loan every month already feel like working for a landlord. “Not even condo hor, just 4-room BTO, but every month $1.2K vanish from CPF like magic.” But what about other expenses.

He sigh again, this time deeper than the kopi O he just drank. “Some days, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I work, I come home, I see my kids, I smile. But inside, tired sia. Like my life is just this loop.”

I ask him, “Then what you want to do?” He shake head. “No choice. For the kids lah. I love them, but sometimes I wish I got time to love myself also.”

Wah, this kind of real talk ah, really hit different. Singapore life really not easy. Everything we do — buy house, raise kids, go work — supposed to be for better life. But sometimes hor, the better life like always one step ahead. Always chasing.

Moral of the story? If you got a friend, father, mother, anyone who look strong but quiet… maybe ask them how they really doing. Cos sometimes ah, even the strongest one breaking inside.

I met this girl in a club and started dating her. We cohabit for a few years in my parent’s house. Then one day she started asking about marriage and also started arranging for BTO matters.

She even plan on what job to find after she retire as stewardess assumingly she got pregnant. I did not want to marry her due to her special background. Before I met her, she works in the club and let any guy took advantage of her. She told me she had 3 abortion before so she is always feeling tired and weak.

She’s dirty and doesn’t cherish herself working in this kind of places until when we dated then she switch job. I am unable to overcome the barrier that she was being USED by many guys. I wonder how come girls like her can even think that they can find decent husband and happily married? Isn’t it naive? She likes giving her hard earn money to her mother which I did not approve.

Her mom knew she was working in club and did not object at all, since she was making money to support her. What kind of parents is this?! In fact I’ve no respect for her mother. How can she witness her daughter earning fast money and still spending her money happily.

When she finally got the BTO flat she wanted and in high floor, she told me to put in deposit together. But I didn’t want the flat, the BTO is what she wanted.

She should put the deposit since she is the one that wanted a BTO. She was so upset and left me. What right does she even have to be angry and leave me when I picked her up from her bad situation and told her to find better job. Her family couldn’t even be bothered. What I wanted was to live with her without marriage or children. But our relationship went downhill when she became naive.

What do you think I should do? Should I ask for my money spend on her back?

I have a confession. I am a big man with a small manhood. It might sound stupid, but this is something that makes me embarrassed and unconfident.

To be specific, I am 1.86m tall. People who have seen me might get the impression that down there is big, hard and rock solid. Truth is, it is barely 8cm when fully erect. When it is flacid, it can’t even be seen. This is why I shave, so that it can at least be seen. This is real cringe. When I last celebrated my birthday, I wished for my p*nis to grow bigger.

Both my 2 ex-girlfriends have showed astonishment at its size. I have no idea. I don’t compare sizes with other people, or even talk about it. But they mentioned that I am way below the average size, and that it was much smaller than they have expected. I felt so lousy about myself. Now that I think about it, how would they know what is average? Have they seen enough penises to make a fair judgement?

There was an incident in which my last girlfriend asked “Is it in?” Things were actually going well, but once I heard that, I became anxious and my whole body just shut down. I could not even perform the deed, and that was the last time I ever got intimate with someone. She broke up with me soon after.

That was 2 years ago. I now have a new gf, the 3rd one. We haven’t slept together yet, I would always give the excuse to wait until we graduate, so that it can be extra special. I told her that this is the responsible thing to do. Of course, I did not mean it. Truth is, I am very afraid that the same thing might happen again. Lucky for me, she did not take it negatively but instead expressed that it was sweet of me to think of it this way. Because of this, she feels doubly assured that I love her for who she is, rather than just wanting her physically. Well, she has no clue of what really is going on.

Next academic year will be our final one, and I only have a short time to get my shit together. I am now saving up money to possibly go for treatments to increase its size. But I am worried for my finances too. Such procedures will definitely cost a lot. And business school fresh grads usually don’t get very high starting pay. I have very little knowledge in this area, and I don’t know how much exactly it will cost and how long it will take. Can someone give advice on this, either in a reply or in a separate whisper?

And guys, if you don’t sharing in the comments, can I know 3 things?

1) What is the length of your thing when it is at rest?

2) What is the length when it is at full stretch?

3) How tall are you?