For context, I’m a 17 year old student who completed my O’s last year. I decided to spend my holiday working for a bit of extra pocket money.

The job is simple, we help to sell items for different schools.

Having had experience from being a sales girl last year, this was no big deal for me and I cope with the job well.

I have always been in “名校” (what some consider good schools) since I was in primary school, and most parents of the children I knew in those schools were amiable, pleasant people, so I used to refute the stereotype that parents from more elite schools were arrogant.

My view changed in less than a week of work. I hate to admit it, but most of the difficult parents are those whose children are from the “good schools”.

On my first day of work, I had a nasty parent who openly told her son “You have to wait, she’s not smart you know.” simply because I had to confirm that the sample size I gave them was correct with the full time workers at the counter.

Although I had been briefed, I just wanted to ensure that I provided the correct information and was doing my job properly. It doesn’t mean that I’m stupid or dumb. (Besides, if I did something wrong instead of clarifying my doubts, wouldn’t I be in even more trouble?)

For example, let’s say Happyland is a really well known school. There’s Happyland Primary, Happyland Girls School, Happyland High School and Happyland JC. The parents of Happyland have the tendency to go into the store and scoff “Happyland.” when I ask them which school’s items they are looking for. Upon asking them which Happyland School they are referring to, they would instantly look offended as if to say “Don’t you know Happyland?”

The usual condescending tone is expected, but the attitude they give is rather unnecessary. I’m a sales girl and my job is to help you. It won’t hurt to give me more details about your child’s school so that I can serve you better.

Some parents would brag about their children to other parents who they know are parents of children who are going to neighbourhood secondary schools, instantly changing their tone and attitude the moment they come into contact with another parents whose child is attending the same school as theirs.

C’mon, they’re just here to buy items for the new school year, not start a whole conversation about how your child is better because their T score is a 270+

The parents are nice to me (their tone actually does a 180) when they ask me which school I go to and find out that I’ve already accepted an offer from a “good” JC.

Are they implying that they’re only nice to me the moment they find out that I’m going to a “better” school than their child?

Your child’s brand of school doesn’t make you any better than others.

Over the last 5 days, I realised that many of the parents who were nice to me in school were probably nice only because they know I’m at the same level and their child and would like their children to be treated with respect as well.

It is a common assumption that sales girls are people who have low levels of education and it isn’t the highest of job titles, but it doesn’t mean that they are subhuman trash. (this applies to everyone with a job people “look down” on)

I know many of you here on reddit would think I’m spoilt and can’t take being treated rudely because I’m part of the “strawberry generation” and am just being easily offended and triggered by the slightest of things.

This post isn’t about me. It’s for the full time working “aunties” who have to deal with the attitudes of these people on a daily basis.

I’m starting to really empathise with those who have to deal with these elitists who think they’re better than everyone else simply because of the school their child goes to. And honestly, even as a student from one of such schools, it really isn’t that big a deal. You aren’t superior.

I’m not trying to say “all schools are equal” and I understand that elite schools exist to separate children of different levels of intelligence so that they can learn better amongst peers that are similar to them.

I just hope that people treat others with more basic respect, there’s no need to turn your child’s education into some complex politics.

Please teach your children to be nice to people, and do it by setting a healthy example.

Edit: I apologise if my tone is inappropriate or rude. If I get downvoted by a bunch of defensive parents, so be it.

My girlfriend wants to break up because I make us split pay for dates

My girlfriend and I are both in school. I work part-time and have a big savings; however my girlfriend has been unemployed for years and relies solely on her parents for financial support.

She has her reasons for not working, but I guess she’s surviving. I’ve never been a huge spender, and I’m a pretty good saver.

We go out to eat almost every week, and we always pay for our own food. She has organised and paid for a few dates, but I made sure to pay for both of our meals afterwards to even things out.

She has complained that I never took her out on a single date, so I surprised her with a date at a bar. After we finished, we decided to go see a movie, and I asked her to pay for both of our tickets because I had paid for the meal.

I like to keep our dates 50/50 because it’s impossible to survive in this economy otherwise.

I guess her breaking point came last week, when I gave her the gift I bought for her. It was a $20 candle, and I told her I was going to get her something else, but then I remembered I had gotten her an expensive book a few weeks before.

I thought she was happy until she began complaining a few days later that she wishes I did a bit more for her and at least took her out on dates.

She told me she needs space and is really considering ending the relationship. To me that sounds a bit of an extreme reason to end the relationship. But maybe it’s not, I don’t know, it’s my first relationship and I’m learning.

Netizens’ comments

1. I mean. It sounds like you see your relationship as transactional. She asked you to make more effort in organizing a date and then you asked her to pay for half of it. She took the time to organize and pay for a date, and you paid her for half of it. A relationship is never 50/50
2. She’s just realising you’re incompatible. Sometimes it’s nice to be treated without someone making you feel like you’re not worth the expense.
   You sound like you’re counting every cent, which is fine if that’s what you need to be doing but she clearly isn’t a fan.
3. Are you sure it’s about money, because this sounds like she wants you to put more effort in by organising more dates, rather than her doing it.
   Since money is a factor, maybe some picnics, walks, playing at a local park or something would’ve been fine.
   It’s seems that you’re trying to pass the blame for your lack of effort
4. You didnt mention doing anything together that doesnt cost, so I’m wondering if maybe you just set something up that isn’t “well I paid for x so she should pay for y”, if she would be receptive. I understand the financials are an issue, but a relationship isnt the time to keep score.

In a dry spell. Need help!

I used to meet a lot of guys on dating apps and my dating life was good for a while. But then I really started hating apps and I got ghosted after a date and the anxiety of not looking like my pictures really freaks me out.

So I started trying to meet guys in real life …. And now I’m going through a dry spell and haven’t been on a date, or slept with any men for a really long time.

I don’t drink often. So I don’t frequent bars that often. The only time I really see attractive men is at the gym. But they never hit on me there.

What’s a girl gotta do to meet a guy in person? I don’t know how to meet new men.

Netizens’ comments

1. Guys in 2023 are pretty explicitly taught to NOT approach women in person just because they see them in a grocery or coffee shop or bookstore and think she looks cute. That’s what we used to do in 1990, but now it’s considered creepy.
   But, women can still do it. So, start asking cute guys in grocery store produce section how to know if this melon is ripe. That’s what us guys used to do in 1990! Send him a signal that he can make a move to exchange numbers.
2. Find happiness whatever that looks like to you…it can be a good step in the right direction, boost confidence and that’s hot as hell. Make friends with other girls who do get hit on in the gym. Oh and don’t be easy…nothing drives a man crazy then wanting something they can’t have
3. Got a hobby? Go hang out with people who share your hobby and meet guys that way.
4. That’s exactly what I did and exactly how I feel ! The gym is where I find attractive woman, but they never give me enough eye contact to know for sure she is interested, granted I only look briefly in between sets
5. I volunteer myself as tribute.

Toxic boss who fired me, got fired herself

2 years ago, I worked at a company where a new branch manager (BM) came in shortly after me. She hated me right away and micromanaged me to an extreme.

It was to the point that other seasoned employees started coming up and asking me what her deal with me was, since she would often berate me in front of them.

They were often confused and said “but you did nothing wrong” which was true. I did my job well, was respectful, and made no mistakes with handling money, etc.

In fact my boss admitted that she made more mistakes than me when she was new.

The other employees quietly suggested i go to HR. When I tried to, I was terminated. The hit to my self esteem from all the gaslighting hurt for a very long time. I’ve always prided myself on being a good worker.

Fast forward to today when I went into a branch of the company (I am a customer with them) and started talking to the employees.

It quickly comes up that im a former employee. They tell me my old boss is no longer with the company and im floored.

She was with the company 11 years and told us how hard and long she worked to become a branch manager. BMs usually stay in their branches for YEARS and it takes a lot for them to get the axe.

I looked up her linkedin. She had only been a BM for 10 months. She’s already worked for 2 other banks and not as a manager. She definitely got fired

I dont believe in karma but man I might after today!!

Netizens’ comments

1. She saw that you did a better job than her and was threatened by that. People are stupid and childish.
2. Same thing happened to me in a different industry. Less than a year last a-hole boss was let go. I believe in karma
3. A certain kind of person thinks the way to elevate themselves, is by putting others down. It never works in the long run.
4. Yep had the same thing happen to me, new boss pretty much forced me to quit. I got a new job, and he lost his about two weeks later, met him at a conference years later and he acted like we’re were besties, f off

Hi SG folks, this week I received the incredibly soul-crushing diagnosis of stage 1b1 adenocarcinoma of the cervix. I’m 33 this year and I’ve been physically active and strong my whole life, so I was completely shell-shocked at the news.

I’ve been consulting with two gyno-oncologists, one private and one public (KKH). My private surgeon is the one who performed the cone biopsy on me in order to stage the cancer. The next step is a radical hysterectomy, followed by possibly radiation. Has anyone been through either the public or private healthcare system for a similar condition and can share your experience?

My private oncologist has quoted me $60k for the hysterectomy surgery, which is expensive to say the least. If anyone has been through this as well, it would be immensely helpful if you could share any recommendations for good gyno-oncologists in any of the public hospitals that I can potentially go to?

For added context, my hysterectomy surgery is considered a Grade 6A level which indicates high complexity. Grade 7 is the highest level of complexity and cardiac / brain surgeries are usually classed in that bracket. For that reason I’m leaning towards the more experienced private surgeon for speed and accuracy. I’m nervous and scared.

PS: my personal insurance coverage is not great so let’s assume most fees will be out of pocket.

Netizens’ comments

1. I’m a 35yo male in Singapore diagnosed with Stage 4A Nasopharyngeal Cancer recently and also undergoing treatment currently at National Cancer Centre, under the public healthcare and subsidy.
   I have the option to opt for a private route through my own insurance but decided to go along with the public healthcare. (I am working in an SME so minimum medical benefits, but management have been very supportive in me taking a long term break from work).
   Being diagnosed with cancer at the prime of our adult years definitely comes as a rude shock, but a mindset shift is needed to deal with this one step at a time, be it going treatment or handling the financial side of things.
2. Hi there, sorry to hear this. You can try national cancer center through a polyclinic referral. For cancer cases they usually move with speed especially if you share you have a diagnosis already. If you are a public patient you won’t be able to choose your oncologist but your treatment will be significantly subsidized. If you want to choose a dr, you will be considered a private patient in the public hospital and the cost will be slightly higher.
3. Over the years I have witnessed a number of people around me being diagnosed with cancer. Some chose the private route while others opted for public health care.
   My anecdotal observation is that those who chose to go the private route generally had better outcomes (granted every case is different – stages of the illness and prognosis etc).. it’s not to say that our public health care system is not up to mark but this is just an observation I’m making based on observations within my social circle.
   My personal philosophy is to choose an option that gives me the best chance of nipping the problem in the bud. Financial considerations aside, having prolonged side effects or having to do persistent follow ups is a major downer on moral and life in general.
   You’re still very young and thankfully you’re not diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer. You still have your whole life ahead of you. Choose the option that you’re most comfortable with, crush the cancer and the world is still your oyster when you make a full recovery. Chin up and stay strong

I wish I was a house husband

My wife is a SAHM and I wish we could switch places. She’s been away for a week now and I took off from work to be with the two kids.

I’ve been doing all the housework, taking care of the kids, etc. Its all so relaxing. I drop the kids off and then come back to clean the house, take care and do the laundry, cook, pick up the kids, play with them, put them to bed.

I’ve never been so stress-free in my life. I even took care of some small home projects I have been putting off for months/years now.

I’ve always tried to pitch in wherever I could and have even been accused of not pulling my weight in the past. Now I wish it was my full time job. F the house husband stigma, this is the life.

I love my wife and she is an excellent SAHM but now I wish I could trade places. This will never happen though. I’m a relatively high earning doctor and the money has brought a comfortable lifestyle that would be hard to match if she worked and I didn’t.

Oh well. Back to my 60 hour work week Monday. Not looking for advice. Just confessing.

Netizens’ comments

1. Maybe you could scale back your hours more often 60 sounds excessive and have your wife get a part time job
2. I think that you guys are forgetting that being a Stay-at-home parent isn’t easy until they get to be old enough to be independent. Up until then it’s 100% not that fun and truly exhausting. (Source: Stay at home dad with 4-month old with additional current health issues they’ll grow out of)
3. I was a stay at home mom for a bit. I really preferred to be in the workforce. I just felt more engaged and mentally stimulated. Being a SAHM was not enjoyable. After the kids moved out I finished my degree and went back to work.
4. I think going to work is way easier than working at home with kids.

My Fiancé said I stunk when we were doing it. Now I don’t want to sleep with him anymore.

So for context, my fiancé, 24 male, and I, 23 female, have been together almost 5 years. This whole issue started this past Friday.

For a little background, we are not the typical 20 some year old couple. We’re usually in bed by 9, even on weekends. We don’t go out much if ever, and both work over 40 hours a week easy.

The one that gets people the most? We rarely f. I’m talking like 3 times a month. 5 on good months. Maybe that’s normal to some, but at 24 and 23 I feel like that’s rare. I’m the one that has to ask for intimacy in the relationship.

Every other night I try to talk him into it. It’s always the same. “I’m too tired”, “it’s late”, “tomorrow we can”, or my favorite, “if you asked earlier I would’ve” HOWEVER, when he is in the mood and I don’t comply? I might as well be throwing a baby as a football. He acts like it’s the end of the world.

So on Friday I slept in a little later since I didn’t have to go into work till later that morning. I no sooner opened my eyes, and my fiancé was over top of me.

He says, “honey I have to leave for work, but I got some time if you wanna, ya know”. Considering I just woke up and had 0 energy, I mummed something like “yeah okay”.

In the middle of it all, I go to roll over, and I notice he’s covering my backside with my shirt I still had on. I asked “why are you covering me up?”

He no shit goes “I think you stink” and continues going.

I stopped. Got up. And was like, “excuse me??”.

He goes “what’s wrong?”

I said “you think I have poop or something?”

“Well it has to be you. Go wash it so I can finish”.

I could not for the life of me comprehend what the f I just heard. So I walked to our bathroom and he follows. He goes, “you need to wipe so you can see”

I said you want me to check myself?” He said “yeah, and I want to see”.

This man, I kid you not, stood over me and watched me wipe myself, not one, BUT TWO TIMES. Obviously I was clean as a whistle down there.

So he goes “okay let’s finish!” I said “absolutely not. I’m done.”

He got annoyed and was so confused why I wouldn’t let him. I felt so embarrassed, insecure, confused. You name it. He must’ve realized he f-ed up when I looked at him with confusion, and all around annoyance.

He tried to say it came across meaner then he meant it to. I just said I was going back to bed. He left. He sent me an apology text stating he was sorry he was rude but wanted me to just wash it.

I said okay. He asked if I was mad. I said “no not mad. I just won’t be intimate with you for a good while. This morning really bothered me.”

He had the nerve to ask why. I went off. I said “Not only was it super embarrassing, but also very rude how you went about it. And that made me feel totally insecure. And you ended up getting frustrated with me because I wouldn’t let you finish? Not to mention I had just opened my eyes when you wanted some.”

He said “I know it wasn’t your fault. That’s why I said it” I sent him two long texts basically saying who does that shit. He’s confused on how he could have handled it better and think he handled it the only way he could.

Since then, I’ve barely said a word. Instead of crying or yelling, I’ve remained silent. I came home from work to a clean house, laundry done, and animals fed.

He’s tried texting more then usual. I’m still answering. Just very short. I don’t know how to act. I know he probably feels terrible. But I don’t know how I’ll ever be intimate with him now after that happened.

I know I’m probably overreacting, but I feel so off now. He’s tried to kiss me, have me look him in the eye, and when I do, I just feel hollow. I don’t know what to do. I love him with my whole heart. I just don’t think what happened was okay.

I had an affair with a married man and now I am pregnant…

AP (affair partner) and I met at work 2 years ago and began having an affair. This has gone on for a little over a year. He is currently married with 3 children and I am in a relationship with someone for the past 3 years.

My boyfriend and I have no issues. He essentially is perfect, but we are very… bland. I would describe us similar to roommates.

We have the regular cookie cutter plan to have children and get married, both of us very complacent with our plans, but moving independently.

AP and I have unimaginable chemistry. Earlier this year, we decided that we were going to be together. His young son unexpectedly died. Drastically changing the course of everything.

I found out I was pregnant last week after being late. It is definitely AP’s. I took a Plan B after an accident, but obviously did not work. AP and I have discussed how to go about this situation.

He wants to be together, but the guilt of telling our family members and my boyfriend is keeping me awake at night, eating me up.

An abortion is considered, but I know I need to face that responsibility and live with it myself, leaving behind my AP for good.

Obviously prepared for hate and judgment in the comments, but needed to just write it out rather than keep talking about it in therapy.

Netizens’ comments

1. This is a really terrible situation to have gotten into. I really empathize for your partner and your AP’s wife. And the shitstorm of pain the two of you are about to place on them. I wouldn’t wish that type of hurt on anyone.
   You’d better hope this doesn’t come back on you years from now. The same pain and hurt you’ve created for two unknowing people.
2. Bland? As if any other relationship is going to be anything but.
   Friendships start off exciting and they end up being bland where you just hang around and do nothing but talk about the same shit and maybe go out once in a while. Same with family or any relationship.
   Getting comfortable in a relationship and feeling safe and enjoying the mundanity is so underappreciated right now. Relationships get old. You don’t ruin them for it. You celebrate it.
   A person chose you to spend their day to day with you. To be with you through the most exciting and terrible and boring phases and this is what they get served in return.
   I hope your boyfriend and his wife get better than what they’ve lost. Because there’s someone out there willing to be better for good people.
3. I feel sorry for the baby. You need to break it off with your bf. Let him go so he can find someone who will love him as he deserves. Which isn’t you. Your AP needs to tell his wife so she can move on and find someone to love and care for her as she deserves. Which isn’t him.

I (f25) caught my husband (m25) pleasuring himself and offered to finish him off but he said he would rather just finish himself.

So I caught my husband doing his business and watching some hardcore videos online before he was heading out and I came over and asked if he would like me to just finish him off by going down on him.

To my surprise he just said no he was good and kinda shooed me away.

Obviously we talked about it afterwards and I was surprised to hear that sometimes he just enjoys doing it himself even over whatever I could bring to the table.

Is this something that’s common? I kinda understand but he’s completely replaced all my self pleasuring fun ever since we moved in together

Netizens’ comments

1. There’s a lot of “why does he want this?” going on in your head probably, and I can’t say if it’s common, but – unless there’s some deep underlying issue which has to do with you (and assuming that’s not the case), sometimes, sorry to say, a quick simple solo session is just what one wants.
   It’s like a “get some junkfood at the McDrivethrough” just because it’s quick, simple and you just feel like it.
   There’s no hassle, no having to mind about others, just do it, be done and move on with your day. I’m not defending him, but sometimes it’s nothing more than that.
2. I would also add that it’s very possible he did not feel like reciprocating and did not want to feel like he was leaving you hanging by having you perform on him.
3. Personally, sometimes I just beat off to get it over with and move on. In those instances yeah, I would turn you down too.
4. Sometimes I just want to finish myself off. No one can finish you the way you can do it yourself. However, having the offer to have my partner lend a hand, so to speak is more than welcomed. Instead of shooing you off, maybe he should have just asked you to watch while he did his thing. It’s how I would have handled that situation.