I’m from China and my wife got a job offer in China so we’re very excited to move back home for a new adventure. But it doesn’t seem so for my manager who depends on me a lot at work.

She is sort of a pathological liar. I started working with her two years ago and everyone warned me about it. She really likes me and according to her “I have never trusted anyone I worked with as much as I trust you”. Being in a small department, it’s just the two of us handling all the work and she could be very controlling. Plus all the lies here and there really annoy me on a daily basis and I’m actually very glad that my wife gave me this excuse to resign and leave the company.

The Problem:

She had COVID during Christmas and is currently suffering from some side effects. I forgot the name for it but she has a heart infection with some liquid building up which is pretty dangerous and needs rest so she has been working from home for the past few days.

Yesterday I called her to tell her I quit and before bringing up the subject, naturally, I asked how she was doing and if she was feeling better. She told me that she was still feeling sick and that her chest hurt. Her doctor told her to stay in bed and out of stress for a couple of days.

Then she proceeds to give me an example: “if I get a phone call right now with some bad news I could actually get a heart attack.”

As you can imagine, at that point I started to panic, imagining how my bad news was gonna kill her through the phone.

“So what’s going on? Why are you calling?”

“No no no reason! I just wanted to check on you and see if you were doing any better! Byeeeeee!”

I’ll wait until she gets back maybe next week to tell her in person so I can at least call an ambulance if she does get a heart attack.

“i had a bad stomachache when my date sent me home on grab and we alighted at a bus stop near a petrol station

But I couldn’t reach the toilet in time. I ghosted him after that day but to my surprise, he is still asking me out. Valentine is coming. I don’t know if I should go out with him again. To be honest, I don’t know how to face him… he is from NTU and his results are really really good.. he is a good guy and I really really like him but I don’t know how to face him after that day”

Here are what netizens think:

• Perhaps you are so tasty that even if you are covered in sai you are still edible.

• When he has seen you at one of youe worst situations and still wants to go out with you, he’s a keeper. Proceed.

• Don’t worry too much about it. If he’s asking you out again, it should mean that he understands you are only human and that nature calls can’t be controlled. You are no longer primary school kids.Of course, if he asks you out for the purpose of teasing you, it’s also good because you can conclude that he’s not mature enough to be a keeper.But from what you described, it feels he’s more like the former. Give it a try.

• He likes your smell. Go for it

• If he has seen you at your worst situation and still asking you out… then he is a keeperIf you get married and grow old together, you guys will surely say a lot of shitty stuff when fighting, and clean your partner’s shit when they are bedriddenSo yeah.. it’s a good thing you have started early on your first date

• Things got off to an explosive start

I have gone on 2 dates with a guy whom I met on a dating app and I’m not sure if I should continue going out with him.

We are of the same age and can click reasonably well, and share some similar interests. However 2 aspects of him bother me.

Firstly – he doesn’t behave as is expected of a gentleman. For instance, he doesn’t hold open the door for me, pull out the chair for me at the restaurant and say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ to the waitresses. On the second date, I brought a big-sized item but he did not offer to help me carry it at least.

Secondly – he tends to speak too much Singlish while I’m more comfortable sticking to the correct form of English / Chinese I’m using. I am a bit surprised as he holds a masters degree and works in a reputable firm. I don’t know if I’m fussy but I was brought up in a family that emphasizes a lot on courtesy and presentation of oneself.

He has asked me for a third date and I’m not sure how to reply to him. Given that I don’t know him that well yet, is it bad that I point out these issues straight up to him?

Here are what netizens think:

• Right… The thankless waitress bit does raise an eyebrow on courtesy, but as for yourself… You looking to date a class act is it? Gentlemanly gestures like those are not an obligation, but a bonus, when you consider the typical culture of our nation.That said, the lack of gentlemanly actions are simply things to frown upon if they don’t meet your standards on what makes a man. You’re only dating now, he’s free to be himself, and so are you.Red flags are such an easy word to overuse. If you’ve already dated or started dating and his attitude suddenly changes to this, then that, is an actual red flag. Because nobody just loses their manners or upbringing in an instant and without reason.

• Pull chair and open door? Does the guy need to call you your royal highness too?

• Think twice what is so special about you yourself.

• I used to work in a UK company, my boss asked “why it is when you speak to me, you speak proper english, but when the few of you (singaporean) together i couldn’t understand a single word even i know it is english. there is nothing wrong in speaking singlish with friends and family, i too have master. in workplace when we speak with clients, supervisor, doing presentation we used proper english. If you look down on him no point in going further, just stay silent and he will get the message

• Oi! Ah girl ah, why you boh suka limpeh talking singlish leh? We are Singapore lang and should embrace our culture mah.And oso why beh tahan limpeh no move chair or is open door huh? This is 2022 lah. Woman can open own door mah. So picky one you. Aiyah, limpeh 看错了 you. So beh gum one. 算了! Limpeh not taking you out again. 算 limpeh pai mia to meet you. So sway one.

My wife and I are in our mid-40s both architects and we have run our own business for a long time now. Three years ago, our neighbour’s son who is in his 20s was studying architecture in uni back then was looking for an internship got into contact with us through his father. We knew each other and had a normal neighbourhood relationship with the family but we were never that close. We talked to this young man and accepted his application.

Since day one, he has never failed us and proven himself very well. He is very well-educated, respectful, presentable and has a very good discipline, great energy and work ethic. At the end of his internship, we signed a deal and he officially started working in our company. Since then, our relationship has developed and we got more social with him. We often invited him over for dinner. He became friends with our son, we went on vacations together. But the business relationship has always been stable and well.

We trusted him so much. We loved having him around all the time.

Two days ago, he sent a very long text message to my wife, saying “he has been in love with her for the last two years and that he would have never said it if he couldn’t resist it more. My wife shared this with me yesterday and I called him. He didn’t reject anything and he told me he would never disrespect our marriage but he is so passionate about his feelings and apologized. Then he said they would always want to see us no matter what and hung up.

We had a conversation with my wife about it and she is very confused about what we should do,too. Actually, we don’t want to hurt someone who has been so nice to us and never crossed the line before. But, i believe firing him and ending our relationship is inevitable. I wanted to ask here before we take action. Thank you very much for your support,in advance.

Here are what netizens think:

• This is easy. You and your wife tell him that you are happy to write him a letter of recommendation as a good worker but he needs to resign immediately so he doesn’t continue to make your wife uncomfortable. Then you and your wife tell him that you also can not continue to socialize. And for everyone’s benefit he needs to be on his own doing things with people his own age. Your wife should save the text in case you two ever need it for legal reasons.

• Dumb Hollywood stories have people believing that telling the ‘truth’ at any cost is the right thing. When in truth, the reality is that in this situation he should have never told her, and also left for another company for his own mental health.
• He’s young but he’s beyond old enough to know that this was unacceptable behavior for a number of reasons ranging from you don’t shit where you eat to you don’t confess your undying love to a married woman.

I would never tell my children or husband this but becoming a mother is my biggest regret in life.

I’m 38 and I have three children at 12, 10 and 8 and while I of course love them dearly I do secretly regret having children. 12 years ago my life stopped.

My career ended and I essentially became a full nanny, a chef and a maid for free for little humans I carried in my body for 9 months who talk back to me, make my life difficult and honestly don’t really like me.

My husband’s and my activities in the bedroom also died. We F maybe once every couple of months because he’s always at work and is usually very tired or just not in the mood.

Childbirth also ruined my body. I have stretch marks all over my body, two c-section scars, loose skin and weirdly colored nips that still get milky and gross every once in awhile.

I also have a scar from when I split open all the way to my a-hole with my first born. I have virtually no bladder control after spending a combined total of 27 months pregnant in my life now either.

I literally have to wear panty liners all the time because sometimes a little bit of pee just comes out on it’s on. Honestly being pregnant and childbirth is easily the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

After the 3rd time I made my husband get a vasectomy. I told him I cannot do this again and thankfully he understood.

I did it all for 3 children who honestly don’t like me very much at all either. They constantly talk back, tell me I’m a terrible mother, tell me they hate me or won’t listen to what I’m asking them to do.

I’ve tried to be a good mother and I still try because I know firsthand what it’s like to have a bad one. I try to take good care of the house, kids and my husband but the last 12 years have been the worst of my life and I have another 10+ to go assuming I make it that far and that my children will actually leave the home.

By then I’ll be almost 50 and my husband will be over 50 and then what? Will we actually have a life again over 20 years after they ended?

Will we somehow manage to have a passionate intimate life again in our 50s? I doubt it.

But yep that’s my confession. I deeply regret having children and believe it ruined my life and extinguished the passion and romance in my marriage.

CEO asks employees in the elevator why the company should retain them!

The CEO at my employer is an odd man who scares everyone to death. Being in the elevator with him can be the end of their career if they don’t say the right thing.

Lay offs are coming and he is trying to determine in a very unprofessional way who should be laid off. He will approach staff members and demand that they justify their existence in the company.

He basically says this: “The company is cutting staff soon and I am fact finding who is actually valuable to the organization. Tell me how you provide value to the organization and why we should retain you in the company.”

Would you, could you convince your CEO you should be retained during company wide layoffs?

Netizens’ comments

1. “Great question! I’m so underpaid that by being here I have already added value.”
2. Ask why if he is an effective CEO are they laying people off and then go let the air out of his tires.
3. “Pop the hood of your car, dig down in there, and remove a random gear or wire that you find. You may not know what it’s purpose was, the car may even run normally, for a while. But sooner or later you’ll discover that that random, seemingly unimportant component did something. Your car is broken, and it was foolish to think that shedding weight by just picking some part at random would ever work. Everything was added for a reason, if you want to shed weight you do it by targeting functions to be removed, not parts.”
4. Yeah, I would already be looking elsewhere so would be tempted to say, “If you don’t know what roles add value to the company it sounds like you don’t add any value and are not doing your job correctly. Maybe that is why we now need layoffs.”

My daughter, 16 told me that she’s going out to dinner with her friends at a local place. I was taking our dog on a walk and walked by a park where I saw her kissing a girl. I didn’t say anything, just walked by.

A little bit of a backstory: there was a kid in my daughter’s class who my daughter told me like girls. Their guardians were not supportive, and they endured a lot of mental agonies and eventually tried to end it but she survived, but have a long road of recovery (both physically and mentally) ahead.

From what I understand, this kid was very popular in school, was overall a very bubbly and outgoing person. My daughter was good friends with them, and their entire class is shaken up by this. School is providing counsellors to help them navigate their emotions in a healthy way.

I told my husband and he says we should let her come to us at her own pace. I obviously agree with him, but my mama heart just wants her to know that no matter who she chooses to love, her dad and I are always going to be there for her. Are there any subtle ways to do that?

Here are what netizens thinks:

• So my parents had a hard time with it when I came out almost ten years ago. My aunt however, didn’t skip a beat. One day visiting, she left a pride sticker on my dresser with a note that said “I will always love you. Be you. That’s the best thing there is”

• For real though, I would maybe ask how her classmate is doing and express your disagreement with their guardians’ bigotry and make it clear that it would never make any difference to you. She may clock what you’re doing, but I think that’s okay. You could also find an age-appropriate TV show or movie with a same gender love story and make a supportive comment about it. Hearing positive, affirming things about same-sex relationships is a big comfort for kids who are nervous about coming out.

• Just let her know that you always have her back. You love and support her and are there if she ever needs help.