My married colleague 37y.o guy bought me lunch last Friday. We are on two different sub-teams in the same company but he offered to help me on a major project throughout the weekend- because of his assistance I would bring him snacks or energy drinks. He made a joke one day about I should buy him lunch and I agreed. Fast forward and we agree to a lunch date and he ended up buying me lunch instead, in addition to getting me a box of cookies on Valentine’s day. I offered again to buy him lunch since he paid when I should have and he agreed on next Tuesday.

We have a good banter, and sometimes it can teeter on flirtatious or even adult jokes but I always thought it was jokes. When we went out to lunch nearby the office, another colleague happened to be eating at the same restaurant and saw us. Then rumours started spreading immediately… I confronted the colleague who saw us and said it was none of his business what we do with our time off the clock (probably not the best phrasing at all) and to stop spreading rumours when he has no information about anything.

However, it made me wonder if I’m the one in the wrong for allowing flirtatious behaviour from a married man and allowing him to buy me lunch. He is married but I don’t think he is on good terms with his wife. I know he also has an 8-month-old son but from certain phrasing, he’s used it seems like he and his wife are separated and co-parenting although he hasn’t specifically said that.

Am I wrong to confront the rumour spreader?

Here are what netizens think:

• This reads like a fantasy of a 37yo man who is unhappy with his home life and daydreams about having an affair with his much younger friendly coworker.

• She is also young and probably feels flattered and like she is saving him, and it is flattering to have someone show you attention, especially if it is someone you admire. But hopefully she will realise this guy is a dick and she will pull her head out of her arse and will keep things professional from now on.

So to start with I’m from I just drop out of school, 24M this year and live alone in shared accommodation as I got kicked out of the house by my parents after an argument.

If you have been keeping an eye on news you will see that cost of living has just skyrocketed due to all sorts of factors and I know it will only get worse from here.

On a standard week, I will ideally work around part-time about 30 hours and rarely more as my employer cannot give me any more. After monthly rent and bills, I’m lucky to have just about enough to buy food each week. I have no savings due to these circumstances and I’m constantly on edge waiting for that surprise bill to ruin me.

So to cut a long story short I’m wondering if anyone has any advice on saving for me so I can build myself a safety net.

Here are what netizens think:

• Can you find a second job to fill in the other hours you’re not working?

• You’re only working 30 hours a week. Get a second job to boost your income.

• Better job is the preferred answer. It avoids having to juggle two schedules, which might be difficult with two part time jobs, that will likely want flexibility from you. Plus trying to get one with a better hourly wage would improve the situation on top of getting more hours.

• As others have said, earn more, spend less. Not sure what the market is like these days, I recommend investigating if getting some kind of course that will suit you. Some weekend shifts under the right boss etc.. or just looking for an actual career at the same income where some years under your belt will result in an expected increase on wages.

• Not for everyone but if you find yourself with free time you could try taking up some kind of secondary job. Don’t have to work for anybody, you could take up doing repairs and odd jobs or maybe just doing some creative tasks and selling what you create. Essentially doing whatever you can to build up some savings to fall back on.

Job offer rescinded, Left a negative review on Glassdoor , Company is asking me to take it down.

Basically title says. I interviewed with this company, went through 2 interview processes. I was sent a job offer 30 minutes after the 2nd interview. I’m ecstatic as it is a 40% pay increase of my current job.

I accept, give my two weeks notice to my current employer and what not. I completed the onboarding HR sent me and signed everything last week.

Two days ago, which would make a week exactly since I signed the offer letter, I get an email saying they would not be able to move forward with my offer due to “internal changes they had to remove the open position, but will keep my resume on file.”

I am at a loss for words because I JUST put my two weeks in. I begged my boss to try and keep me at my current employer but she told me HR could do nothing about it.

So here I am, without a stable job because this company screwed me over. I gave them a negative Glassdoor review about my experience and how the company left me jobless.

I get an email this morning from the company asking me to take down the negative review as it hurts their reputation. I don’t feel bad at all for what I’ve done since this company has left me without a job.

Netizens’ comments

1. “It hurts our reputation” That is the point, mate.
2. I mean, that’s literally what Glassdoor is for, so we can let other workers know our experiences with bad employers. You did the best thing you could, leave it up.
3. Hell. I would edit the review to specifically mention you were asked to take it down after calling them out.
4. Update the review with their latest email.
5. Edit the review to include the fact they asked you to take it down – and that you patently reject their request as all the information in it is true.

I’m married but I can’t stop having constant fantasies about my co-worker

I started a new job a few months ago and I instantly noticed this incredibly attractive woman who was one of my new co-workers.

In terms of physical appearance, she was pretty much my exact dream woman, and despite the fact that I was married, I found myself instantly drawn to her.

We chatted a few times and it seemed like our personalities didn’t really mesh at all, and soon I felt my infatuation with her starting to fade. I chalked it up to a typical short-lived “work crush” kind of thing.

Then about three weeks ago, I randomly had a dream about this co-worker. It wasn’t even an obscene dream; it was just a dream about us starting up a relationship and dating, and both of us were very happy.

Since that dream, I can’t stop thinking about this woman in an explicit way. I am literally constantly having fantasies about her; when I’m trying to sleep, when I’m in the shower, when I’m doing chores, when I’m driving.

The first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning is walking into work, approaching her from behind, and kissing her on the neck while I wrap my arms around her. I feel like it’s literally driving me insane that I can’t get her off my mind.

And it’s mostly purely physical stuff. Like I’m usually not fantasizing about leaving my wife for her or actually starting a relationship with her.

I’m really usually not the kind of guy who fantasizes about other women. My wife and I have been together for about 20 years, and throughout almost all the time, she was the only woman I desired or thought about.

Part of me feels really, really guilty about this, but part of me also feels strangely alive because of it.

I genuinely like my job, but now while I’m at work, I feel like I’m just doing everything I can to not come off as creepy towards her. I usually try to avoid her, but it’s not always possible as her department and mine work together a lot.

It’s actually starting to interfere with my ability to concentrate at my job. And when we do talk, it feels like she’s acting differently towards me than usual. Not flirting with me exactly, but being way more open and friendly towards me than she usually is. Maybe I’m overthinking it, or maybe she somehow has discerned that I’m thinking about her this way. Women can tell these things.

Of course, I’d never try to actually act on these fantasies. This woman and I are acquaintances at best and I’m fairly confident she has no interest in me romantically. And although my marriage is going through a bit of a rough patch right now, I definitely don’t want to leave my wife.

I just don’t know what to do; I’ve actually even considered quitting my job because I literally can’t stop thinking about this woman, especially when I see her in person.

My boyfriend of 3 years still won’t sleep with me. Should I just end it?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and we have never gotten intimate throughout the entire time, despite me always hinting and initiating. We are both in our early 20s.

The first year of our relationship when we were apart, we would talk dirty to each other, and he would say how much he wanted to be with me when we met in person. However, every time one of us would visit the other, he would not be able to “keep it up”. He swore up and down that it wasn’t because of me. He was just nervous. Okay, that’s fine. I was understanding and told him we didn’t need to rush.

After a year, he invited me to move in with him. He seemed excited about it. I decided to go for it because I really love him. After we moved in together, we tried a few times to have PIV. Every time, he still couldn’t get it up.

He started saying it was because he was self-concious about his weight (he’s a bit bigger than me but not much). He also didn’t want to do anything else sexual because he was self-concious. So no touching each other, nothing.

This went on for about 6 months before I tried to break up with him. I said that maybe we just weren’t compatible. He FREAKED out and swore up and down that he loves me, that’d he’d work on it, he’d go to the doctor, he’d lose the weight, etc etc. I love him so much, and our relationship was good otherwise, so I believed him.

Well, we just had our 3 year anniversary, and nothing has changed. He never did any of the things he promised, and we still haven’t even slept together ONCE.

He is now refusing to go to the doctor to get checked. I feel like such an idiot. I tried to go off my birth control because what’s the point? But he acted all hurt and said he wanted me to be on it because “he’s going to lose the weight soon and then we can F.” I just don’t believe him at this point.

I miss f-ing. I want to have biological kids one day, and I don’t want to have to do IVF because he won’t sleep with me. We are basically just really good roommates who kiss, but I love him so much, and it’s hard to move on. Has anyone else been through this? Am I being delusional thinking there’s ANY chance he could come around on this?

My crazy neighbor seduced me and Post Nut Clarity saved me

My next door neighbor is very unstable. But she also happens to be pretty cute. She has been making weird advances on me for a while now as she and her man have gone their separate ways.

I have restrained myself for the most part but today I was told some hurtful things said by a former friend so I was feeling low and susceptible. When she asked to come over I said yes.

She came over and asked to use the shower so I put a towel out in the bathroom. When she was done, I walked into my room to give her a shirt to borrow and I turn around and she’s wet and has dropped the towel.

I ask her if she needs anything and she says something lewd, and proceeds to go down on me. I mention that it’s prolly not the best time for this but tbh I didn’t put up that much of a fight.

It’s been a long while since I’ve had any female attention. I ended up coming after about 5-8 min of this. I usually have no issue going several times.

Right after I came, she bends over my bed. At that moment, she looks back and I see it. I saw the crazy in her eyes. Boom: PNC

I saw a glimmer of a misbegotten future with this girl entangled in my life and I was so frightened that I immediately went to the bathroom and when I came out, I said we prolly shouldn’t F and that it was a bad idea and I apologize for wasting her time.

She says it’s the first time she’s ever been rejected by a guy when making the first move. She called me all kinds of things; immature, dumb, smart, insecure, not masculine enough, among others. It was clearly an attempt to elicit a reaction of some kind.

I asked her to leave so I could go to bed and I need to say that I regret even going this far. It was a horrible idea and a big moment of weakness.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I likely need to incorporate some discipline into my therapy. But I just needed to let this out as this has been an ongoing thing and my friends would freak out if they heard this happened.

Any advice for staying strong going forward would be excellent as I am not sure she’s done with me. But I need to be done with her.