I was instructed to dress professionally for an interview. When I arrived the interviewer was wearing shorts and flip flops.

I’m currently unemployed and I have been going to interviews lately. Yesterday I went to an interview with the hiring manager and I was instructed on the phone, by who I believe to be HR, to dress up professionally for the interview, to wear a tie, shave and all of that.

When I arrive there the manager was wearing shorts and flip flops. He seemed to be trying really hard to get me to accept the job but only offered me an average salary and was surprised and I wasn’t thrilled when he told me the amount.

He gave me a week to accept the offer. Honestly I think I’ll politely and respectfully decline it, probably on Monday.

Netizens’ comments

1. Give them a counter offer. Shoot for the moon, more money, more paid vacation.
2. No offense but that’s fairy normal. Interviews are a two way street but outside of tech, you dress up for the interview to give a good first impression, and then never do it again after your job. If nothing else, its an indicator that the job has a lax dress code policy (plus) unless the manager is a hypocrite
3. HR told you to dress that way not the interviewer. HR probably just read you the standard script from their HR handbook. Doesn’t mean actual boss guy expects you to dress up while he dresses like that.
4. I understand why you might be miffed that they didn’t dress up for you but I’d be pretty happy to learn that day to day dress code includes shorts and flip flops.
5. If you’re unemployed why not accept the offer but continue looking for other jobs. Just delay the start date as much as possible so you’ve got more time for interviews.
6. Not sure why you’re offened by this. Many companies have a casual dress code or they’ll have a “casual” day or whatever. Flip flops is a little much but not enough to decline a job over. Sounds like a relaxed work environment. The company I work for has a varying dress code based on what department you work for. I’m not sure this is as big of deal as you’re making it out to be.
   What is an “average salary”? And what are the benefits like? Benefits are just as important – and sometimes more important then the salary itself.

I (35M) failed to lose my virginity to an (23F) escort. Need advice on how to date

I’m a 35 year old bald, fat, ugly but rich virgin. I considered using an escort for the longest time and did it last week.

Found her off a website and paid $400 for an hour. The first thing she did when I took off my clothes was poke at my stomach fat and say “you must be hungry”.

That got me super self-conscious and I couldn’t perform at all. I couldn’t even get into her. I could see she was getting frustrated so I apologized and left after 20 minutes.

This has just got me even more down haha. I know I’m not attractive at all but I didn’t expect someone I was paying to point that out. I’m probably too sensitive and could have laughed it off too but I was already incredibly nervous.

How do I get confidence to get a real woman to like me?

Netizens’ comments

1. Are you at least funny with a good sense of humor ?
2. I cannot believe she did that. That’s atrocious.
   Some people have said this already, but I’m going to repeat it:
   Everyone is into something different, physically. When it comes to my dating life, I love chubby dad bods and regular to small-ish Ds. That’s my thing, it’s what turns me on.
   Don’t try to turn yourself into the current male beauty standard. Be healthy in the body you have–whatever size or shape it is. Be the best you.
   Yes, that’s easier said that done. Long-term goals, I guess.
3. Hire a better escort. Probably one your age for starters.
4. Your mindset is COMPLETELY off. You need to rethink how you approach life my man. No good woman is going to like you if you don’t respect yourself and have a healthy sense of self esteem.
   I greatly encourage you to use some of your wealth to talk to a registered psychologist to work through the psychological traps you’re in, and a good life coach to help you discover your passions and what you’re good at, how to live a fulfilling life.

How to tell a colleague that they have BO

A few months ago, I joined a small company. Before I joined, my department only had one other employee.

Our roles are quite similar and regularly requires us to do outdoor site inspections, sometimes together. She’s a larger individual and hence sweats quite abit when we’re out.

The thing is our shared office is literally a small windowless room with only one old AC. There’s only two of us working in the room and the smell can really be quite unbearable sometimes especially since the air is stale to begin with.

I’ve tried bringing in a small desk fan/ diffuser to try and solve the problem on my own but she has said that the fan is noisy and the diffuser doesn’t really help.

I don’t want to bring up to her directly because I worry that she may have some condition that she can’t help/ may feel embarrassed later.

I am also not that close to her due to our difference in age and we rarely talk outside of work. My current solution is to wear a face-mask with perfume in it but it gets very stuffy.

Any ideas on how to politely broach this topic to her? Or no choice just suck thumb

Netizens’ comments

1. This one is hard. Maybe you can talk to your boss and get some advice? If your boss can help resolve the stale air issue it’s better or just tell your boss or your colleague you feel uncomfortable w how stale the air is and prefer having a fan in the office to help move the air around.
2. just ask, and be as explaining as in this post? if one party state record incase she is mental. in my case I can not always smell my self, and I am mortified when someone finally tells me I am smelling. but if she worked alone for a long time, and stopped paying attention, she may not know, or she may not care, but its hard to tell.
   I kinda feel talking to a boss may be overkill, like if I was mortified being told by a peer, having it go up the chain and a boss coming out to talk to me will be crushing.
   The other issue is you new and she is established. was she used to working alone?
   This is a hard thing to deal with , but I feel assuming the other person will be reasonable is the best best for first attempt. If she starts to argue, or doesn’t immediately go omg and get red faced or something that shows they actually care, then immediately drop it, give it a few weeks to see if she changes while acting like she wasn’t doing anything wrong so she can save face.
   if after a week or so she doesn’t show any improvement then talk to boss if still no change. Maybe make up a excuse to have boss visit office. Like boss I need to show you something on computer, show them, let them soak in the ambiance. THEN Go Oh hey I have an important thing to discuss privately, could we go to your office. have the meeting and explain the fake reason for getting them in office. ( depends on boss. like not saying to ambush a good boss, but one of the good but lazy bosses may need this type of kick in the but to care. if your boss is a bad one, good luck on any rout you choose.)

Looking for Social Services for an Elderly Neighbour

One of my neighbours, she’s very old. She walks with those 4-legged cane. The problem is that she’s still working, almost everyday. I always see her around 7.30pm and she comes home around 11.30pm. I always meet her because I get back from school and reach home the same time she goes to work. I found out she comes home at 11.30pm cus thats the time when i go for a jog.

She commutes using the public transport to her work which is a 10 min bus ride away. (I coincidentally met her at her workplace, it was a supermarket)

So I am a young male, and it takes me 3-4 minute to walk from our block to the bus stop. However, she walks extremly slow, like one step at a time, using her cane. It would probably take her around 30mins instead.

And most importantly, there is no traffic light at the bus stop area that she boards the bus. Its a wide 3 lane road (6 lane both ways). Sometimes I would be there to escort and stop the traffic for her, but other times when Im not there.. god knows who will help her. This is what i mostly worry about.

I would help her but I am still a student and frankly I dont know how. If anyone can recommend me any social services or help group that can assit her, that would be great. If anyone wants to help her, feel free to DM me and I can share the details.

Thank you!

Netizens’ comments

1. You have a good heart OP. But in which area do you think auntie needs help in – to cross the road to the bus stop? Perhaps writing in to LTA to suggest a new pedestrian crossing would be more helpful than social services per se which are more targeted at providing financial assistance etc.
2. Talk to her family first if you want to call social services. Not all people would be happy if someone calls social services on them out of concern, you need to get their consent first. This is more of a road design issue than a social service issue too.
   Also contact LTA and suggest any improvements that they may be able to make.
3. You could highlight it to your MP at the next MPS. Chances are the authorities already have their eyes on her.

Caught my boss cheating with his wife’s best friend

Our company was celebrating securing another five year contract with a massive client, we do these office parties quite often with every biggish achievement, it’s our bosses way of appreciating our work (bonuses are awarded too) & to boost morale as the workload can get intense.

Anyway the party was well underway in our boss’s house, everyone was drunk indulging in good food and generally having a good time, needing the bathroom I excused myself.

I blame it on the alcohol or perhaps the loud music just above but I didn’t hear anything to give me warning of the horror of what I would witness until I stumbled into the unlocked bathroom and saw my bosses wife’s best friend, (also an employee of his) riding my boss as he sat on top of the toilet.

I rushed out immediately after, I didn’t even hesitate I headed straight for the front door walked for what felt like forever then went home.

This all happened last night and I’ve just woken up with a killer hangover bracing for the impact for the awkward encounter I’ll have with my boss on Monday…lol.

Netizens’ comments

1. Guess who’s about to get a raise
2. congrats on the promotion!!!
3. Now is the time to “request” that mega raise you so deserve
4. 3 options. Never tell or talk about it again. Blackmail boss. Or tell wife. I’d do the third
5. As a wife myself, and while I know that telling the wife is the ethically correct thing to do, what exactly would be the benefit of telling her?
   OP’s job and therefore his livelihood would absolutely be on the line.
   Secondly, there is no telling what sort of arrangement the couple has. If you’re f-ing the best friend while your wife is around, maybe you aren’t as concerned with her finding out. Maybe that’s why the woman is a “best” friend. Maybe the wife doesn’t want to know or doesn’t care.
   Finally, you have no proof. What exactly will you be telling the wife and how easy would it be for your boss to spin this and make you look like the bad guy? “disgruntled employee who is facing termination decides to fabricate a story to blackmail boss.”
   I just don’t see a real win/win situation for you here.
   I would start looking for a new job immediately, your boss obviously has some ethical issues (if not for cheating, then at least for sleeping with an employee without being discreet). Once you’ve secured a new position, send an email to the wife with your entire encounter and let her do what she wants with that information.

Hi, I’m not sure if I’m even posting this to the right place or how to do this exactly but anyways I’m here because last night I was kind of taken aback by my date.

We met on a dating app and have been texting for a few weeks but made last minute plans to get a drink last night. So we got a few drinks and then he asked to go to my car.

I figured he wanted to kiss so I said yes. He was such a gentleman. He opened the door for me to the bar and to my car which I thought was so sweet (most ppl don’t open car doors on dates anymore).

So we started making out in the car but it was soft and gentle, then he starts biting. After a few minutes, he asks can we drive somewhere else.

It’s close to my house so we went to a park I know close by. So we get to the park and start making out again…then I climbed on top of his lap and sat on him while we kissed.

It started getting a little rough with lip biting and light choking. Then he lightly taps my face on my cheek with his finger tips and I remember thinking “that was so soft. He better keep it that way”.

Then all of a sudden out of nowhere when I stop kissing him and look up at him, he slaps me hard. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do.

Then he did it again but even harder. I was honestly scared. He was so gentle at first and was so delicate with me, licking and kissing everywhere so passionately, then all of the sudden “SMACK”.

I understand this is like something that he is into and I didn’t know what to say after. I’ve never had that happen before and I don’t think I liked it.

Before he did that, he whispered “you’re safe” during the choking (which I do like) and maybe the soft taps were a warning that he was about to really slap me but I was really caught off guard.

I thought maybe if someone were ever to do that to me, they would ask before or wouldn’t do it so hard. I mean, that was one of the hardest smacks I’ve ever had (I’ve only ever been slapped on the bum which that’s saying something bc slaps on the bum go pretty hard).

I don’t know if I should just embrace the 50-shades or obviously tell him I didn’t like that, but my biggest concern is that he may end up physically attacking me.

I just found this very odd because we never discussed it beforehand and this was our first time meeting. Very bold of him I thought.