Ghosted…or not? Should I wait?

So my crush recently went on a 3 years overseas uni to California for further studies. Since before the trip he has been uncontactable. And has not been replying to my texts. I was wondering if I should just move on or wait since it’s a pretty long time and while I do have time to wait, it’s the silence that is slowly killing me inside. Thoughts?

Here are what netizens think:

• Wait for what? You yourself also know gone liao right. Don’t kum gong k? It is a horrible feeling to wait on someone.

• our crush for him has crushed your brains

• If he’s uncontactable to YOU, that means he’s not into you. Move on.

• If you are someone he treasure ,you don’t even need to text him and then wait, A guy who show interest in you will never leave you out of sight,trust your intuition, slowly but surely you can move forward without having to wait..let others come into your life and if he return oneday then it is your call.

• If a man really likes you, he will be too scared that during this period, you will date another person. He will just keep appearing in texts, emails, comments in social media, just make sure you know he is still around.

• Probably prowling for an American girl to date. Also there are plenty of international students too to fulfill his Korean Brazilian or arabian fantasies.

He truly has ghosted you. Human beings love to BS ourselves and being in denial rather than face the painful truth. Move on.

• Its just a crush feeling on your part.nothing concrete. He didnt declare anything else to you or professed his feelings. Move on rather than being getting your heart crushed later ..

Hi there! I’m a 23yo female this year and I have recently started working after graduation in a pretty well paying job.

Things are looking up for me and I also have a hunch that my boyfriend is going to propose soon because he has been probing me alot about ring preferences alot in the recent months. T

BH he doesn’t really have any red flags and has alot of green flags: he’s kind, caring, family-oriented and gentlemanly. S is also very good and it helps that we both have high libido. Career-wise he is also doing very well too. I genuinely do see a future with him and want to start a family with him.

HOWEVER theres just 1 thing… He is 10 years older than me and we’ve been dating for about 10 years as well. And if you did the math… Well yeah, I think you’d get it.

It kinda was child grooming?

I’ll admit we starting having S really early on into the relationship (less than a year) and we have been active throughout. We also haven’t been using any protection but in his defence, it was a mutual decision.

Honestly I’m torn after doing some self-reflection.On one hand, i really love him and want to have a family. On the other I find it hard to come to peace with the past. I find it kinda messed up.

I’m afraid that others will know about the past and whether it will affect my ability to be a good mother to my children. I would say yes in a heart beat if he asked me for marriage a few months ago but now I’m not sure. Please advice this troubled girl!

Here are what netizens think:

• We drive looking forwards, not in the rear view mirror. If you can’t put the past behind, you simply aren’t ready at this stage. Give yourself and him more time.

• Marry him if you’re ok with the knowledge your soon-to-be husband is a child offender/pedocause that’s what he is. If he says he isnt, tell him to ask the police if what he did is ok.

• Dated for 10 yrs and u r 23. A 23 yr old in love with you as a 13 yr old. This is weird

I’m leaving my terminally ill wife

My wife and I had 6 incredible years together before she was diagnosed with young onset dementia 3 years ago. She is only 44.

She is unrecognisable from the wonderful, vivacious, kind woman I married. That woman was the kind of person that lights up a room. I feel like I no longer know the person I’m married to.

Her dementia means her behaviour is radically different now and usually unpleasant. She goes through ‘sundowning’ and becomes incredibly aggressive and hateful. Or hysterically tearful.

Her mood swings are continuous and unpredictable. I have help from family and friends but it still doesn’t make it bearable. She hardly knows me at best and hates me at worst.

I’ve decided to leave. Not divorce, I need to be there legally to support her medical decisions, but leave the relationship. Pay for a carer to support her where I can’t and eventually move her into a facility when that isn’t enough.

I know I’m evil for leaving but I can’t do this. I can’t stand that she no longer loves me, barely even likes me. None of it’s her fault, none of it is even her, but I just can’t do it. I’m so sorry B

Netizens’ comments

1. Heartbreaking. I’ve worked with early onset dementia patients before but never as young as 44, that’s the most tragic thing I’ve ever heard
   I’m deeply sorry, I know it’s impossible to have a relationship in those conditions
2. If you are still going to stay involved to make sure she is taken care of, then you are not leaving her. You are just acknowledging that the relationship is now a different one.
   Sounds like you are doing the right thing.
3. I have told my SO that if I reach the point where I dont know him, to please put me in a facility and never ever visit me or feel guilty about it. To me that’s what love allows. Best wishes.
4. This isn’t leaving, this is more like being widowed. You’ve reached a stage of acceptance in your grief. This is you acknowledging that her illness has gone beyond your capacity to care for and that it is no longer in yours or her best interest for you to be her primary carer. There’s nothing evil but knowing your limits.

The most valuable thing money can buy is peace of mind

I have been financially stable before. When I was younger I was able to work and didn’t have a child to raise alone. And then I went and got pregnant and the baby’s dad left.

I used to have my dad to help with things like groceries and emergencies, as I helped care for him. Two years ago he fell out of his wheelchair and died and my life has been a nightmare since.

The thing that many people who have a backup support system don’t realize is how much sleep you lose when you constantly have to worry about the little things. with the rising cost of everything, I am barely getting by.

The peace of mind that money gives is huge. I don’t even have a credit card! If something breaks, like my dishwasher or my phone, I’m completely out of luck. My kid accidentally clogged the sink – I can’t get someone to fix that until next month.

I already lost 18kg that I didn’t really need to lose, just because I couldn’t feed myself and I always feed my kid first.

I don’t sleep. I’m all my kid has and he has my time but I can’t offer him much more than that. I lay awake and worry about the things I have no other option than to neglect, like my health.

I understand that these are first world problems and I’m so grateful for what I do have but man, sometimes I want to give up.

I’m tired of cooking everything from scratch and never eating out. I feel bad that my son misses out on fun things with his friends and field trips. This isn’t the life I thought I would be living and I’m so over it

calling my wife out when she gossiped about my size

My (31m) and my wife (29f) have been married for 2 years together for 6. We’ve always had a good relationship and communicated well but we’ve just had out first fight. It’s bad.

My wife often has group video calls with her friends, about 6-7 women. One of them is in a new relationship and they were discussing the sizes of their men to compare.

I overheard my wife told them that I am x size and that she would have left me a long time ago if I wasn’t good to her. They roasted me and hearing my wife laugh with them crushed me. Just for reference, I am average

When she got off the phone I asked her 1. Why was she discussing my genitalia with her friends and 2. Why would she continuously body-shame me for 20 mins and laugh with her friends when they called me sorts of names and compared me to her ex.

Her response was that it’s what girls do and that it’s not her fault that I just an average guy. I asked her how’d she’d feel if I talked to my buddies and I made fun of her labia and compared her to my ex. (I would never do that but just wanted her to understand my pov). She spilled her drink on me and called me an a-hole for body-shaming her and threw her phone at me.

I’m currently in the guest room. She’s not talking to me. She called her mom and sister, they both said I’m an AH for hurting her feelings. I don’t think I’m an AH. All I did was try to get her to see my POV.

Netizens’ comments

1. I am a woman and I have never discussed size with any of my female friends who are into guys. And we have had A LOT of girl talk conversations about guys but no one ever body shames. This is really bizarre to me she is claiming this. The sad reality is some people their gender (Ive seen this go both ways) shouldn’t be body shamed and other genders it’s ok. It is INCREDIBLY ridiculous. My SIL used to do this to her dad about his MPB until I called her out. Not ok, body shaming is body shaming, it doesn’t matter what gender it is towards.
2. That was a very logical question to ask her. And her bringing in her sister and mother to gang up on you makes her an even bigger a-hole, and she was already a massive one to begin with.
3. Wasting your life with her man, get out.

Hookup wouldn’t let me sleep!

I (28f) hooked up with a guy that I’ve been talking to for a while. He was honestly mediocre at best but not the worst.

However, when I tried to sleep he kept trying to talk! Or he wants to cuddle, wanted to touch me, and just UGH. I told him I needed to go home and feed my dogs just to get away from him. We hooked up around 2 am and I left around 7:30 am.

I swear this guy did not sleep at all. He kept grabbing me to lay on his chest which for some reason was so u comfortable. I just wanted to snuggle with the pillow and pass out but no. He kept caressing my arm, my side, and running his hands through my hair.

Then he wanted to start talking with me about work. Sir, it’s 4 am and I’m EXHAUSTED. I finally just pretended to fall asleep at which point he turned the TV on??

I vibed with him so hard and then only to find out he was mediocre in bed and the worst after that I’ve ever had…blegh, just stfu already.

I used to consider myself the queen of casual hook up until this, now I kind of want to avoid it from now on.

Netizens’ comments

1. Perhaps that was this guy’s shy and timid attempt at after-care, which is something you can definitely improve on, yourself. Him trying was a green flag in my opinion.
   All bedroom talk expectations aside for a second, at any moment you could have just said something like, “Hey, I’d really like to get some shut-eye, it’s been a long day, I’m tired”, at that point you gently get off of his chest and into a better sleeping position and out you go.
2. If you don’t express your wants, needs and boundaries, you have no right to be mad at someone for not getting them. Food for thought.
3. Do you usually spend the night after a hook up? Back when I had random hook ups or one night stands after going to the bar, I almost never expected to spend the night or have her spend the night. It was wham, bam, thank you ma’am then “Ok, that was fun. We should do it again sometime” and then I’d leave her place or she’d leave mine.

He made me cry in a good way, did I freak him out?

I’ve been seeing this guy for a little bit and we’ve hit it off pretty well. I really like him, and I’m pretty sure he does too.

The first time we f-ed it was surprisingly intimate and sultry. This second time we did it, it was on another level. He was really attentive and careful with the way he touched me. He was dominant but in like, a loving way, so to speak.

When we got into the actual penetration, he was talking to me in a really caring but dirty way. It naturally demanded my response but not in an aggressive way.

He was kissing me, playing with my hair, rubbing my chest (which no one’s ever done before) and I don’t know why but I felt so overwhelmed in a good way to the point where I cried a bit.

He asked me if I wanted to stop but with a look knowing I didn’t, and not too longer after it made me come. Which I’ve never done from penetration.

I apologized after because I felt really embarrassed, he assured me it was fine but I still feel really weird about it. Would that freak a guy out?

Netizens’ comments

Sounds lovely. I’m experiencing this with a guy at the moment, he makes me feel so loved and cared for. I’m a SA survivor and he is the first one i trust to sleep with.

The pleasure that i feel with him is unreal, he’s also the first one that made me come by going down on me and by penetration.

I haven’t cried infront of him (yet lol) but after the second time we slept together, i started shaking. Its my way of releasing the tension and trauma probably.

It felt very vulnerable, but not bad. He just held me and was there for me. Maybe you can relate, maybe not. By the way you describe him i dont think it would freak him out to see you cry. It’s a sign that you can let go with him and that you feel safe. Thats something very intimate and beautiful to share.

Sorry, but I just have to vent…

I’m feeling sick… I just asked my boss for a raise (with all the expected arguments) and his answer was: “You know? as I realized in my time (boss is 60something), money is not everything. There was a point where I decided myself not to pursue more money, because I saw I had enough to live and to provide sustenance to my family. You should do the same”

I mean…what the actual F is that for an answer? Thank you for listening/reading/whatever

Netizens’ comments

1. “So what you’re saying is, if a job doesn’t pay enough to live and provide sustenance for my family, I should find a better one. Got it.”
2. “One day, I realized that I was throwing away the hours of my life by laboring away for a firm that doesn’t care about me. I quit. You should do the same.”
3. Tell him you’re surprised he got to his position without ever having to understand inflation. And then walk away.
4. You are right boss, I look forward to the day where i earn enough to provide sufficient sustenance for my family and I don’t need to ask for an increase to get me closer to that goal
5. The answer to this is “But I don’t have enough to live that’s why I need a raise.”
6. If money isn’t everything then ask him to give you some of his lol.
7. Love people who are well-off saying money isn’t everything. Like, okay, where are you getting all the free stuff then?
8. Aw ya classic. When I asked for a raise once my boss asked me what my home expenses were and told me I was actually “quite wealthy”. I was earning 1.4k
9. Oh dear… But if you didn’t need the money, you certainly wouldn’t be asking. Also, it’s good for you to try and get more money out of a job because it’s an indicator of how much they value you and your time. If they’re not willing to pay you enough, they don’t value you.
10. I had a boss tell me that because I was single and didn’t have a family he paid me less than those who did because they needed the money more. Even people who had been there for a shorter period of time or didn’t meet my level of productivity or experience. I found a new job.

I (25F) told my husband (27M) that not every girl wants to sleep with him

I feel bad about this. He doesn’t seem hurt but I don’t want it to fester in his head so I wanted to ask opinions. Basically, my husband has a history of always thinking girls want to sleep with him.

Girl says hi at the cashier, she wants to sleep with him. Older coworker asks how his weekend was, she wants to sleep with him. Girl compliments his work, she wants to sleep with him, etc.

Some of the time I do think he’s justified but a lot of them I think he’s majorly reading into it. I never mentioned anything about it and just let it go to give him the confidence boost.

My coworkers met him for the first time last week. One of them is usually cold to me, but after she met him, she ran into me at work and told me that my husband is so nice and that she hopes I bring him around more often. It felt very sweet and platonic and I’m pretty sure she is a lesbian.

Anyway, I mentioned this to him and he had a way over the top reaction, saying “she definitely wants to sleep with me, why else would she randomly be nice to you, no one would do that unless they want to sleep with their coworker’s spouse.”

For some reason, it set me off this time, and I told him incredulously “dude what? Where did you get that from? That’s such an overreaction. She was just being nice. She doesn’t want to sleep with you and I think she’s a lesbian.”

He responded asking me if I thought he was ugly, I.e. why would she not want to sleep with me? I told him no, he is not ugly, but that jumping to that conclusion was just weird. He accepted it and that was that.

I can’t help but feel like I’m going to give him confidence issues now or make him feel like he’s not attractive. I’m wondering if I’m justified in not wanting him to constantly be thinking girls want to screw him but I feel like I was harsh.

What do you all think about this and should I do anything about it? Did I screw up? I feel like an evil person. I want him to always be confident in himself so I don’t want him to think I was trying to hit his self-esteem. It’s just annoying when he always thinks every girl wants to sleep with him.

Thanks all.

How do you deal with drunk people in your block?

Context: a drunk man abt in his 60s keeps hurling vulgarity at me when he sees me with my dog in the lift. I live on 13 floor but he lives on the 9th floor.

So the thing is I would take down his usual timing that he cone out and walk my dog like 1h earlier or later than the timing noted down.

However, despite this, I tend to encounter him and he does his nonsense to me.

Last week, he was frustrated hurled vulgarities at me both in English and his own language n keep pressing the lift button to prevent me from going down.

Luckily, one of his family member came out and stop him.I would just tend to keep quiet and mind my own businessas i believe there is not point in wasting my energy to quarrel with someone who cant think straight but however i do tend to feel annoyed and sian on dealing with these wierd ppl.

Anyone has story to share n end this type of problem?,

Netizens’ comments

1. How do you even encounter one person so often lmao. Is he camping in the lift waiting for you?
   • (OP) I really have no idea man. I exhausted my alternate methods to avoid him le. Is like I take an empty lift down, so coincidental stops at lvl 9
2. If he is hurling vulgarities, he is committing a criminal offence.
   Call the police next time you see him and they’ll happily take care of it. Don’t give any more chances.
   Such unruly behaviour has no place in our tranquil and peaceful society.
3. Consider recording the incidents for evidence.
4. Tell him to stfu or you will call the polis, and next time take video and record as evidence.