Newlyweds haven’t slept together (f24) (f27)

This might be pretty crazy story. But my husband and I got married not too long ago. We are both from conservative families so we both waited until marriage.

The honeymoon was awkward… he wouldn’t really initiate at all. We like barely tried once it didn’t really work and never again after that.

To this day we still never did anything. I started to feel like he didn’t love me, like im not pretty enough. I would cry at night.

I started feeling just awkward if that makes sense. And it’s not only because we didn’t sleep together but I just feel like he doesn’t care for me. I opened up to him about this twice and he says “I’m not good enough for you” “you deserve better” I try to comfort him and think that I’m being too hard on him.

I’m very sad most of the time now. When he asks why do I look so sad I just say “idk” I told him before about the lack of intimacy but he said that he just doesn’t know what he’s doing and I kind of gave up asking.

Now, I just tell him that I feel like I’m not pretty enough but he just always tells me that he loves me so much, I’m his world, I’m the prettiest girl and all those things.

I’m just so confused because he says all these things but I don’t feel it you know. I don’t feel loved. I’ve asked him if he was gay or if he’s watching AV or something to satisfy himself and he said no to both and even was disappointed that I asked.

We’ve been married for almost half a year now and the most we do is kiss. We don’t even change in front of each other. This is just so sad to me because I never thought marriage would be like this. I feel awkward in front of my husband and I don’t know what to do.

He’s very gentle, kind and tells me that he loves me he cuddles me alll the time but that’s it. Idk what to do and I feel like I’m not enough. Has anyone ever been thru this?

Edit: we have showered together once on the honeymoon. Nothing ever escalates to the next step. I’m so embarrassed to talk to anyone about it, so I pretend everything is ok!!!

Just got fired for refusing to cook at closing time.

I work at a somewhat decent restaurant, but we always have people ordering up until closing. Now the kitchen hours are 4-10.

Tonight I get a ticket at 10:00. I refuse to make it since the kitchen is closed, and everything is shut off. My boss comes to me and tells me to make it, and I said sorry the kitchen closes at 10:00, not during 10:00, not after 10:00, at 10:00.

She goes off on me telling me that I have to make food, up until 10:01. This is all new to me since, I’ve been leaving at 10:00 for years.

Am I in the wrong here? I’ve always assumed if a kitchen was open until 10:00 they closed at 10:00 on the dot.

Netizens’ comments

1. Worked in a kitchen for years. I shut shit down ten till after telling front of house. No one ever complained
2. F the customer and people agreeing, bunch of momos in here
3. Understandable hope you find a new job soon
4. I had a GM many years ago that insisted that our hours were “we SEAT customers from 15 minutes before opening to 15 minutes after close”. So technically the customer could sit down at 11:14 pm, bullshit and have drinks for half an hour, then order dinner, which didn’t happen all the time, but when it did, not a damn thing we could do about it. But that was our store policy, and told to us when we were hired and trained. It still sucked though.
5. Anyone that comes in within like 5 to 10 minutes of closing time and expects to sit down and eat an entire meal while make everyone stay longer to clean up afterwards should also expect spit in their food, let alone coming in at closing time and expecting you to turn everything back on for a single customer.
6. Never worked in a kitchen, but I always followed “last call” at bars rule. IE, Bar closes at 2am, last call is always 1:40-1:45, maybe 1:50-ish on a slow night.
7. If the kitchen is closed at 10 orders should stop being taken at like 9.30/40. It’s not last orders at 10. it’s CLOSED at 10. As in no more food is coming out.

Is it normal having no one to talk to?

Exclude people from work and family members, how many people do you have that you can talk things about? (e.g. your day, latest movie you watched, etc) I feel like most people would say their partner if they’re in a relationship and if they’re not, they’d probably have a few friends to talk about something.

I used to have them but for the past few years, I’ve had more conversations with myself than actual people. Even when I’ve had people to talk to, they don’t really stick around. I know it’s a thing as we grow older, our social circle gets smaller but is it normal to just be on your own with no one to talk to?

Netizens’ comments

1. I kinda enjoy not talking to anyone for periods of time everyday. I like to focus on my own things first before “connecting” with others.
2. It takes effort to maintain conversations and relationships with people. So yeah it’s normal to eventually have people leaving, no one to talk to. Until you decide you want to have people in your life again, then you make the effort to reach out
3. it’s great you have work friends and good family members. It’s not easy to make friends but you can always try!
4. Difference between being alone and being lonely with people. Part of Success involves finding a tribe/community that you can excel. This is the not the way to go long term.
5. Normal. I kinda prefer not talking to anyone because the efforts I put to sustain the conversation/friendship always get unreciprocated so why bother right?
6. From someone who had voices in the head, please go out and make friends. Find your community or tribe that appreciate you. 
   Im not saying you should find a partner so that your can talk to. Last thing you want is to depend on one person for conversation. It could be sports, hobbies, culture. And if you have social anxiety, discord chat or voice call is fine as well. Do not normalise this. It will kill you in the long run.

My personal hell is when people rush to board the mrt without giving me a chance to alight.

For some reason this annoys me a lot. These things happen even when it’s at 7 am on a Saturday. I’m struggling to understand such a behaviour because it’s not like the train is going to depart without you.

Mostly likely people are rushing to get a seat. I hope this is the only reason for such ungracious behaviours.

Just give me 5 seconds to alight. The world isn’t going to end in those 5 seconds and there are no zombies chasing after you.

Netizens’ comments

1. Happens at Jurong East every week day morning. I just shoulder bump them hard on my way out. Loved hearing the ‘tsk’ sounds on the way out
2. Sometimes, for the especially irritating ones that stand straight down the middle of the platform doors, I just walk up to them and stop directly in front of them. When others at the side board first and take all the seats they wanted…that’s my ecstacy.
3. I usually push my way through bumping into all of them and not looking back
4. The 4 horsemen of MRT:
   Entitled old person who cut queues to stand right in front of the line and board as if he was there first.
   0-common sense person who boards before other alight.
   Attachment issue person who will not let go of the overhead handrail, not even to give way to others by moving 1 inch from the rooted spot.
   Auntie talking to her friend via recorded chat message loudly as if to project her voice from Yishun to Punggol.
5. Just a few days ago, i saw an auntie running into the MRT, chasing after a seat saying out loud “mine mine mine mine!”. I kid you not, this happened right in front of my own eyes

Anyone here feels that being a 170cm in height guy is still super insufficient?

Even though statistics point to the 171cm guy being the average, that is because Singapore is an ageing population, so the shorter uncles are pulling the national average down. This means that the younger guys in age 21-40 are likely in the upper 17X to 180X.

Heck, even most of the younger ladies or those my age, not even including the Gen Z, are also around my height, I just cant seem to find a comfort zone even standing beside the ladies. I have done this observation carefully at malls and workplaces. I cant be wrong unless someone really disproves me with evidence. Inb4 someone says I am trolling, I am not. Maybe you guys didnt really make as much legit observations as I do to say there is confirmation bias etc.

Typically the high region above my eyes to the top of my head makes it worse because that excess depth doesnt help in making me feel taller, even compared to most ladies since their head tip lies in that blind spot region if not higher. Without a mirror, there is literally no way to validate the comparison. And it is this uncertainty that is really screwing me from the inside. I am not sure if anyone else feels the exact way as I do.

Even though I have a doctorate and earning above average, but this doesnt seem to help much in overcompensating. The gap from being the ideal guy is still too far. In fact, I have screwed myself over the past decade by cutting off my social circle in University, since most of the guys in the clique were 180cm plus and there is almost no guy close to my height in my group.

I have talked to one of the school counsellers at UHC few years back. Being the typical boomer, she preached religion to me and that doesnt help much either. I have stopped trusting all these people since then.

Sometimes I wish I could be either way taller so that I will feel tall all the way or way shorter so that I can fully give up on the thought. But no, fate has made me this height full of uncertainties and this might be some form of punishment.

Lastly, I understand that this is something most of you will find foolish, even for some of the shorter guys out there. That is because you guys have found your happiness and know what you want. Some of you are happily taller, congratz. But not me, no. I am just that unlucky guy out there stuck in the realm of uncertainty and constantly envying those tall korean oppas ,TVB actors or taller Mediacorp actors such as the hunky Herman Keh. Life is really not fair..

Again, I repeat, this is not a troll post, so please do not filter this. End of rant and thanks all for listening.