I married the “nice guy” and I’m now regretting it…

I’ve been my married to my now husband for nearly 10 years and I cannot ask for a nicer man. He cares for me emotionally, calls/text me every day to say how much he loves and appreciates me.

He is the typical nice guy who treats all women “as they deserve”. And he is the first “nice guy” I’ve dated who is emotionally available and genuinely caring.

However ever since the since the beginning we are “okay” in bed. I have always been adventurous in the bedroom and love a good time. However over the years my drive has increased and his as pretty much become non-existent.

We have spoken about this multiple times over the years and nothing we discuss has actually made a difference. Talking about threesomes (his fantasy) however when I actually set these dates up with a other girl he changes his mind and says no he just isn’t in the mood.

I’ve asked if he is still attracted to me (178cm and only 62kg) and he says yes everytime. I’ve asked if he would be interested in just foreplay to get the mood going and says no he feels like he is disrespecting me if I suck him off.

When we do sleep together it’s very vanilla missionary that lasts maybe 10 minutes then he tells me “how amazing it was and how much he loves our connection”.

I’m getting to the point were I am starting to fantasise about sexual encounters with strangers and feeling like I settled. Did I make a mistake or is this something that can be changed? Is this normal?

Netizens’ comments

1. That has nothing to do with being nice
2. Same situation here, but I just satisfy my own needs 🙂 My fiancé is amazing and I will never leave him just because of it. We talk about it sometimes, and he just says he is not that adventurous. It’s okay, because nobody is perfect.
3. Why is “nice guy” in quotes if he’s actually a nice guy? Lol. I assumed this was one of those dudes who thinks he’s a nice guy but is actually not nice at all. That’s typically what is meant by “nice guy™”.

How do you accept being less well-off than others?

Just saw a post about the younger generation being more entrepreneurial and “richer” in general.

I’m part of that generation, but I’m not well-off whatsoever. I’m not in actual poverty, but I’m in that awkward situation where I’m not exactly middle class either.

Of course I have my own drive and ambition to do things such as invest, work while schooling (currently studying), freelancing, picking up new skills to freelance with, etc.

But it honestly pales in comparison to most of the people I know.

I’m talking about 20-somethings (same as me) driving cars around, able to invest in high value NFTs, balling on all sorts of clothes and “toys” without blinking an eye.

It’s extremely hard not to feel like my effort measures up to nothing. Even with my planned career path, which while lucrative, wouldn’t even compare to them.

Which brings me back to my question, how do you learn to accept this?

Netizens’ comments

Comparison is the thief of joy. No matter how rich you are, there will always be someone richer. Live your own life and be content with your decisions and their outcomes. Money only makes life easier, but it doesn’t bring joy in of itself.

When my daughter was 5 years old, and just starting kindergarten I would occasionally tell my daughter “Just remember, no dating and no boyfriends until you turn 30 years old”.

Wishful thinking, I know.

I told her this her first day of kindergarten, and she replied “okay daddy”.

Then I would tell her the same thing every once in a while. Not too often to be annoying, but often enough that she knew my rule.

Then one day, later in the school year as I was getting ready to drop her off at school, once again I said to her “remember now, no dating and no boyfriends until you turn 30 years old”.

This time she had a totally different reply.

She turned to me, and looked right at me with those eyes that she could use to get whatever she wanted from her dad, and said “Well, if I get good grades all through school, can I start dating when I am 29”?

It took all the willpower I had to not smile and start laughing when she asked that. With a very serious look on my face, I showed her that I was taking a moment to consider what she had just asked.

Then I replied to her “Hmmm…..Well okay, you’ve got a deal. If you get good grades all through school I will let you start dating at 29”.

She replied, “okay daddy”, got out of the car, and bounced her way on into school for the day.

For those who are going to ask, yes she waited till she was 29 to start dating, because she always followed daddy’s rules.

Just kidding.

She had her first boyfriend at around 13 years old, breaking her Daddy’s heart. I mean what did you expect? Kid these days don’t listen to their parents anymore…

Found out I’ve been massively lowballed on my salary and the company doesn’t care. I’m already applying for new jobs wherever I can.

I’ve worked with my current employer for 6 years as a data analyst, my initial pay was lower than the advertised amount due to my lack of experience and I accepted as I was desperate for a job.

Recently we had a new hire and I was showing him the ropes, teaching him about the data and software we use. We actually got along really well and strated chatting outside of work.

The subject of pay came up and it turns out he’s being paid about $10,000 a year more than I am. We were both pretty shocked at this and did some double checking to confirm that we’re in the same role and we are.

I brought it up with my manager and she seemed shocked and agreed something was wrong. We then went to the department head and he initially tried to downplay it, saying stuff like the new guy has more experience and qualifications etc.

I then pointed out I’ve got 6 years of experience and have qualifications in the software we’re using and I’ve been teaching him how to do his job. He backed down and agreed to pursue a pay rise for me. It took about a month to hear back.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting to get a 10k payrise all in one go but I was expecting something, even just a small bump to get me to shut up.

What I got was an outright “No, it’s not in the budget”. My manager tried to argue for something else, reduced hours or extra days off instead but that was also rejected.

During the follow up with her she seemed shocked about it and while she didn’t outright say “find a new job” all she was able to offer me was some opportunity to work on a project that might look good on a CV.

I was stunned and incredibly dejected. I’ve never felt so unappreciated. I’ve worked late on numerous occasions for this company, I’ve repeatedly had good performance reviews from my manager and dept head and this is what I get in return.

My motivation has plummeted and I struggle to expend even a small amount of effort on my work. I feel like so much of my time has been wasted and I’ve basically put my life on hold with this stupid company.

I’ve started applying for jobs and I can find a new one soon, before I accidentally get myself fired for slacking off or something. Then again, I doubt they’d be able to find someone to work as cheaply as I am.

I just received an inheritance of about $20k and I have no idea what to do with the money. I am unemployed. I had a few grand in savings to start with. I live alone and can generally afford to pay the bills, for now.

I need/want a few things like: new phone, PC, PS5, new clothes, laser hair removal. So maybe… $5k worth of goodies?

But what to do with the rest($15-$20k)? Is there a way I can turn it into more money, with little risk? At the moment I’ve got it in a high interest savings account.

I’ve never had this much money in my account, and although I’ve always been sensible with finances, I really don’t want to blow it.

What would you do with $20k? Any advice is much appreciated!!

Netizens’ comments

1. OP, if you’re unemployed with only a few thousand in the bank, I wouldn’t recommend spending $5k on goodies. Make sure all of your bills are caught up, give yourself $1k and put the rest in a high yield savings account for the inevitable expenses that come up. You’re not going to find little risk in any investment that may make more, and you may wind up losing money.
2. Separate your needs from your wants. As with any windfall, you should pay off debt first, then invest.
3. Instead of finding an excuse to spend the money, I’d find an excuse to save it. Sure, go spend $1,000 but you should really consider saving most of it for the long term.
4. Everything you named off is maybe 3k unless you go really to town on the PC and clothes. You can do a pretty decent budget build with something like a 12700K and 4070 under $1,500. You really don’t need the PS5 if you make a decent PC but still I guess 500. Spend another $500 on clothes. I’m only up to $2,500 so far

My BF can’t stop hurting me and my chest.

Well as the title says. It looks like he’s obsessed with trying to pinch, twist or hurt my bewbs and then especially my nips.

I don’t like it at all. I am very sensitive there and this makes it even more sensitive. Which leads to me not wanting to sleep with him or do anything intimate with him.

He even has a thing when we’re laying in bed, whenever I’m the small spoon he will try to pinch both my nips at the same time in the same hand. It hurts and most of the time he does it when I’m almost asleep.

It doesn’t matter if I’m wearing a padded bra or not, he just wants to pinch or twist them.

Last time I became angry and I had tears in my eyes asking him to not do it anymore. Since I really don’t like it and it hurts. But he just said that my body is his and I should get used to it

We are together for 5 years, he’s 28 and I’m 27 and I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. He just won’t listen.

Thank you all for reading

Netizens’ comments

1. You know the answer. You’ve expressed how serious it is, and his response was ridiculous.
2. Pinch his little brother and ask him how it feels, teach him a lesson.
3. wtf, did he really just say “your body is his”? I’m sorry you shouldn’t have to go through this. This is red flag. I wish you’d understand. he should have this stopped by now and there’s no way your body is his. you shouldn’t have to go through this pain.
4. Grab him by the b*lls. Squeeze. Twist. Pull. When he starts screaming, just smile and shrug. Tell him, “Your body is mine. Better get used to it.”

I hired a prostitute for my terminally ill brother and it went wrong.

My (32M) little brother (19M) was diagnosed with a stage IV glioblastoma a few months ago. He mostly has trouble walking and the treatment has rendered him mostly unable to speak.

I know he’s a virgin because we are close enough to talk about that stuff and he has never mentioned any girls in his life or any romantic relationship with chicks.

He’s not very social and he only had one really close friend in school who he even went on trips with (and later on I found out this guy was gay so of course he never helped my brother out with women, but it was obviously still great to know my brother finally had a friend)

I figured he’d like the surprise of having a professional hooker pop his cherry and it would even take his mind off things.

So I hired a woman, 30sh years old. He’s staying in his bedroom so he didn’t even need to move. I introduced her to him and then left them alone to do their deed.

Apparently, in the midst of it, my brother’s condom broke and they only noticed… after it was over.

The chick was supposedly on birth control but I don’t totally believe her. She seemed hysterical and upset after the whole incident. He definitely could get an STD.

Netizens’ comments

1. If he is terminally ill, would he really be worried about an STD? And if he is a virgin should she be worried about an STD?
2. The big question: who cares if he gets an STD? Poor guy has stage 4 glioblastoma
3. You did a good thing. It kind of went off the rails. These things happen.
   I’m sorry to hear about your brother. That’s more of a concern to me, honestly.

Colleague’s wedding invitation – can’t afford ang bao

Just joined a company a couple months ago, and got invited to a senior colleague’s wedding.

I really want to attend because I know everyone will be there, and I would like to celebrate for my colleague as well.

But it’s at a 5 star hotel and when I googled the recommended ang bao rate, it was $200-$250.

I definitely can’t afford it… should I rsvp no and give a lame excuse? Tell the truth? Or should I go and give a smaller ang bao. Or just suck it up, give the $200 ang bao and eat less for the rest of the month.

Also I’m not from the same culture as the colleague so I’m not very sure how to navigate the situation since my culture doesn’t really have a very strong ang bao practice for weddings.

Netizens’ comments

1. You can just decline
2. i invited this particular friend to my wedding banquet years ago, knew he was not doing well so i told him no need to bao angbao, just come. in the end , he bao $50 , didnt seem right to reject it so i didnt. i was touched by his sincerity of course
   sorry not answering op , just wanted to share lol
3. how close are you to this colleague? chances are you’re just invited as a table filler and for your angbao money. don’t feel bad for declining.
4. If I’m reluctant to fork out market rate for a wedding banquet angpow, I’d just make my excuses and decline gracefully. There is simply no way to guarantee word doesn’t get out along your colleagues that you were a cheap bastard who wanted to hobnob with the brass but didn’t want to pay the proper entrance fee to the party. I don’t know about you but my reputation is worth much more than $200 – $300.

He broke my heart. A while back I noticed a woman posting off comments to my boyfriends Facebook account. My intuition is spot on, I have a gift. I soon found post on her Instagram that were truly unreal. She posted pics my boyfriend sent me of his daily actions.

And on then she posted, I love you! With his name as if they were in a relationship. I confronted him with copies of the pics and he completely denied everything. And asked who she was.

I remember him telling not to add her as a friend. I put two and two together. He completely denied the whole thing. I was so hurt. But I believed him.

Months later she posted something I just couldn’t understand and I asked her to stop. She asked who I was, why I don’t know? She knew who I was. I told her I was his girlfriend. Who are you, I said because you are sure as hell are not his girlfriend.

A month later he tagged her on account on a dead account. If which I knew of. I asked him again, what she was to him. He said he never met her, never talked to her like me and to ask his mom? Wth? I am not dumb, what would you do. I am a women in love.

When you did this you were selfish, when I could’ve gone in with my life earlier. This is a three year relationship. Lately, he has been very attentive loving and I know he knows what he has done was wrong. Why can’t he just own up admit it, so we can move on? I ask what would you do?

Here are what netizens said:

• Let that boy go!! I promise you will find someone so much better for you, who treats you with kindness, loyalty, and RESPECT 100% of the time… Sounds to me like he is full of secrets and lies and heartbreak.. please stay strong and grow from this.. take peace in knowing that one day down the road, he’s gonna see you doing so much better and happy without him.. and that is when you will have your retribution.. Take care of yourself and I wish you the absolute best things in life!!

• It isn’t normal to have to convince yourself your man is being faithful. That’s not part of a healthy relationship. It isn’t normal for your partner to ever put another woman (with exception to family in certain circumstances) ahead of you. It isn’t normal for other women to be posting pictures of your partner with phrases like “I love you”. And it REALLY isn’t normal to have your partner react to that by saying “don’t add her as a friend.”, while continuing to interact with her behind your back and tell you he doesn’t know her.

• Let’s be honest would you really leave if he told you the truth! You know the truth already because your gut is telling you. Dump humans move on! Period.