I’ve been in a relationship with my gf for over three years now. Ngl after we got together, she stopped bothering about her image and appearance and look nothing like how she was in the past (gained weight, don’t make makeup). My gf also pays me very little attention these days and our lives are becoming more monotonous and routine.

I wanted to feel validated by the opposite sex so I started using dating apps. I have no intentions to cheat, I just wanna know my market value as a dude and whether I’m still in demand. I wasn’t the most popular dude on dating apps but not too shabby either (few matches per day).

But lo and behold! The girls I get suggested on the dating apps are all dino bus. Either they are old, fat and ugly or young, ugly and dumb. There’s the occasional chio one but as expected I don’t get a reply. The number of likes I get are crazy low compared to years ago when I was active on the app. This hugely damaged my confidence as a hot young male.

In a desperate attempt, I changed my gender preferences in the app to be male and started seeing male suggestions. Holy cow, I was getting over 10 likes a day from the dudes. It felt good. I liked a few of them back and started chatting. Some of them are super funny and flirty. I really enjoyed chatting with them. They made me feel super wanted and validated. This is the validation I have been craving for, though I didn’t expect it to be coming from males.

Now I’m super confused. Am I bisexual because I’m enjoying attention from guys? Should I turn gay and break up with my gf so that I can be with these guys who want me so badly?

Here are what netizens think:

Clearly you’re gay, since you hate women so much and you enjoy the attention from men and talking to men.

You’re not special bro.I left my preferences on male to female by accident on tinder last time, went to take a shower, and came back with 100 new likes, all from guys.

Practise dropping the soap

What should I do?

I’m 23 years old and a 3rd-year student in a university. I grew up in a single income family. My dad made the choice to womanize and abandoned 2 young kids than with my mom. He tells everyone else he has no money but he posts on social media pictures of him travelling all over the world while eating food. He refuses to pay anything for my younger sibling and my education, living expenses etc. He used to pay a bit like $1k every 6 months when we are much younger like in primary school. He cut us off officially financially when I’m 18 years old telling me straight in the face that we are “ a burden to him “ while he is smoking. He barely fed us, clothe us but expect us to give him an X amount in future so he will sue us for the maintenance thing.

Please tell me, is it not parents’ responsibility to bring kids up since they are the ones who chose to have unprotected S?

My mother is a strong woman in everyone’s eyes. She single-handedly brought me and my younger sibling up. She refuse to believe it but the divorce tore her up and the lack of financial support from my dad. She worked hard. Working endlessly. To support my younger sibling and me. Whenever she’s sad or being emotional, she will use emotional/mental abuse like guilt tripping, manipulation, gaslighting, etc. This is her way of being human after being strong for so long. I’m often the target as I’m not academically inclined since young as compared to my younger sibling. At times it really gets into me. I would cry and beat/bite/scratch myself thinking I’m not good enough. With all the negative thoughts. Basically self harm, i know. I went to counseling once but stop as i was worried it will affect my future career prospects. Like will the employer be judgmental when they found out? At times i really want to move out but it’s not sustainable in Singapore as prices is so crazy expensive.

So i can only endure and suck it up. That’s my coping mechanism for a long time.

Before anyone bash me up saying i should suck it up as everyone have a coping mechanism and i should understand, what about me? Who will think of me?

Hello everyone! I(24m) am in fact dying at the age of 24 of lung cancer. As lung cancer is fairly uncommon among under 25 year olds, especially ones with no history of tobacco use, all the signs unfortunately went under the radar until it was too late, my cancer has now progressed to Stage 4 and has spread to other parts of my body. I was given 6 months to one year to live.

I haven’t told anyone in my life. I have kept my diagnosis a secret for 2 months, and have tried to hide the effects of my treatments as much as possible. I don’t have much contact with my father (51m) and my mother died ironically the same way I am (not the same type of cancer but cancer nonetheless.) I am very close with my sister (18F) and my brothers (26m and 21m) and I know my diagnosis will absolutely break their hearts. I don’t know if I have the heart to tell them. Especially my girlfriend.

She’s the best thing to ever happen to me. I never believed in soulmates until I met her. I don’t know If I can bring myself to tell her, especially after I’ve kept it a secret for 2 months. I just keep imagining the look on her face when I tell her I will be dead within a year. We recently moved in together and she’s been talking about our future together. She wants to get married and have kids in the next few years apparently. Part of me wants to elope with her now but I think it would be selfish and cruel in all honesty. I don’t want to leave her alone, I love her so much.

For someone who could die at any minute, I think I have been quite positive about the whole thing. I can’t let it ruin my final months with my girlfriend, family and friends. I could die at any minute, but so could anyone else who’s not dying of cancer. Most people don’t know when they will die and I do that’s the only difference. I just hope I live until my 25th birthday because my gf is planning a surprise party with my siblings. She’s not the most stealthy person in the world lol. I hope I can see my family and friends together one last time.

I know some people may think it’s wrong that I haven’t told anyone about my diagnosis but I don’t want my final months to be a pity party or everyone acting as if I’m already dead. I saw the way everyone treated my mother before she passed and I refuse to be treated like that.

Thank you for listening to my rant lol.

A netizen posted a story stating that there are many people who post online stating that they earn over S$20,000 but are still unhappy with their life.

This is known as soft bragging.

Here is the story:

Can I just tell those ppl who post online that they earn 15k/20k but are still unhappy cos their “friends” earn 30k/40k that I CANNOT RELATE, like AT ALL?

I am just a humble uni grad earning 4k+ working multiple jobs, barely managed to pay off school loans, and after paying rent, food, transport, bills, insurance, taxes, misc (add up to 2k-3k) I can barely save/invest some of the balance. Like that shouldn’t I just go to the tallest building in sg and just leave?

Here we are having to count every single dollar we spend, u guys literally do not have to worry about finances at all with that kind of income, but instead still unhappy about it?? Really first a world problem in a first world country sia… zz

Here are what netizens think:

• The younger you are, the more you want to compare. You compare based on income, material things, social status etc.But once you get older, you will realize that all these are superficial. You will realize money can’t actually buy happiness.Happiness is free…But most people take free stuff for granted.

• Higher pay higher financial commitment

• Alot of them come here n humble brag are really mentally retarded questions n mostly trolling.

• yah sometimes I wonder what is a typical salary for a grad… here everyone seems to earn 15k+++

Ladies, does it matter if your partner is unambitious and doesn’t have goals career-wise?

Since young, I always liked a simple life and doesn’t like to work too hard. I am currently earning about the median salary in sg.

As I don’t have any desire to move up the career ladder, I can predict how much I can earn maximum in the next 20-30 years. It’ll be enough to lead a simple life but defo not enough to get the finer things in life like condo, cars, exotic holidays, nice clothes, nice Renos etc. As for settling down, I believe my salary is enough for a 3-4 room bto but nothing more than that.

I’ve casually dated a few girls and most of them seem to value ambition in a partner. Unsurprisingly, I could see the disappointed looks on their faces when I told them how my future can be like. Some casual chats with my female friends also seem to confirm they prefer guys who are willing to strive and have good prospects.

I’d really love to find a girl who is willing to live a simple life too.

I know that many families did just fine with incomes lower than mine and I even read about that guy who supported 8 kids on $300 a week in the news recently.

Here are what netizens think:

• You can be rich and live a simple life too.There is a difference between Ambitious vs. Diligent vs. Lazy.Most women prefer their men to be diligent. Many professionals out there are not very ambitious but they are certainly very rich because they love what they are doing and are very diligent to excel in the things that they do.

• I had an ex who is like that. He stayed in his company for almost 15years. No increment. Not planning to move either. That’s lazy to me. My husband, change jobs every 2 to 3 years, no intention to climb corporate ladder, reject promotions so he can come home to our 2 toddlers and me. He is extremely simple. Not much friends ever since we have children. He just hangs out with us 24/7. This, is totally different from my ex.

• You can make your choice, but finances will always be a big factor in any relationship. Jackie Chan was like you once, but the Great Bruce Lee scolded him in a very harsh way and the rest is history. Your low ambition will poison your career and HR can see that clearly … which will lead to nasty stuff they love to do to workers. Think about it.

A girl shared a story about how she met a “nice” and “wholesome” guy who brought her to a hotel after boasting of his prowess in bed, only to be disappointed.

Here is the story:

“Hello everyone here, first time posting and I need some advice.

So I recently started using a dating app and met a guy there. it started off really well as I thought he was a very wholesome, nice and funny guy.

However, things went downhill after we started meeting up. he started making perverted comments all the time and brought me to hotel 81 under the guise of a staycation.

Upselling himself

He also consistently boasts about his prowess in bed and “Mighty D”, when in actual fact the “m” word we are looking for is “microscopic”.

I honestly don’t know where he gets all this confidence from, and even more confused about how to break it to him that the experience is truly mediocre at best.

Please help provide some advice I am really at a loss of what to do and very scared.”

I used to steal all the time and i regret it so much

So over a year ago when i was 13 me and my friend decided to steal, Not because we were broke just because it was fun and exciting.

So i got addicted after a while and i started going to malls without any money with friends and go home with bags full of things we wanted and i was so good at it at that point.

My mom got suspicious because i had so many new clothes without spending any money but i just continued.

I would even steal in the store with my mom and siblings as a secret and that was so messed up, i never thought about the consequences for some reason, if i would have gotten caught none of them would have seen me the same way as before or trusted me for some mf candy bars that i COULD AFFORD.

And one day me and my friends got busted and ever since that i have never done it .

Its so embarrassing how much we did it and how many security officers i used to lie to, and also how many cameras i must be on.

Netizens’ comments

• I’m glad you were able to stop and learn from it 🙂 before getting caught & ending up with a record

• It’s all a learning experience. You’re still young, learn from this and think about the consequences of your actions moving on. Also remember everything catches up with you eventually.