I’m aging but don’t have the motivation to find a partner, go on dates or be in a relationship. Any other Singaporeans feel this way and what cause it?

I’m a 25F, completed my education and having a stable job. Friends and people all around me nearing my age are all in a relationship, married, having kids.

I do want to get married and settle down but I just don’t have the motivation for now to find a partner, go on dates etc.

This was so due to what happened in the past where I got to know someone, invested in the person so much but eventually got my heartbroken till the point where I don’t have the motivation to get to know anyone or go on dates although I do want to settle down someday.

I feel that its better to be single than being in a relationship and having to go thru hardship, sacrifices and heartbreak.

Any thoughts about it and what should I do in such situation?

Netizens’ comments

1. 25 is aging????
   What has the world done to you, my sweet child
2. I’m 40. I guess I’m near end of life then…
3. 25 is still very young in the big scheme of things.
   Just do whatever makes you happy and see where life takes you.
4. Jialat, if 25 is aging then I’m living on borrowed time. Better book my nook/urn.
5. When you put aging, I didn’t expect to see 25F. You’re still young, lots of time to meet someone and settle down.
   Seems like you had a bad experience which caused some fear of relationships or commitment. Have you considered therapy? It can really help in these sorts of situations.
   Also, I would question if you really feel the need to settle down or if you’re just feeling peer pressure from your friends. No point seeking out a relationship just because you’re trying to hit a certain life milestone by a certain age.
6. i expected 55f. burn out bah, take a break n try again. meetup app
7. “I’m aging” – so the rest of us what… reverse aging ah?

Bf being more affectionate towards me since letting him finish inside me

I never used to let my bf finish inside me because I wasn’t using Birth Control but since being on birth control and letting him finish inside me he seems to be more obsessed with me?

He says he loves me a lot more and keeps telling me how excited he is to see me and keeps coming to see me after work and just being really affectionate do boys feel more bonded or attached when finishing inside?

I’m not complaining about any of this behaviour I’m just confused

Netizens’ comments

1. I think it yields a much stronger and more intimate experience with most men. But I also think your BF has a very strong affinity to it. Sounds like a win-win though.
2. Girl this is millions of years of evolution at work you know
3. It absolutely triggers our monkey brains into bonding stronger
4. It really does change things when they can finish inside you. It’s like ultimate love making.
5. yeah i believe it yields a stronger release of the love hormones because it really is a “bonding” thing from a biological perspective
6. Welp time to let my bf finish in me
7. This is very normal behavior for men. Finishing inside is the ultimate feeling of connection with a woman. Since you are finally allowing it, he is more appreciative and expressive
8. Creates so much more intimacy. I pretty much always finish inside my wife and even stay inside her after coming even though we are not trying to conceive again it just feels so bonding
9. I also act more affectionate towards my husband when he finishes inside me, especially when we’re trying for a baby (which we pretty much always are, lol). It just… makes me feel closer to him.

People tio ToTo tio 4D, I tio one girl that is draining my savings. She has no thoughts for the future. Everything is about her “perfect” Instagram profile.

I met my current girlfriend back in Poly and she was a thrifty person until she got a high paying job. Although her job is not considered that high it is not bad for someone her age. For context we are both 24.

She started playing Instagram and wants to build a profile to look like an influencer, but deep down I know that she is very vain and does not have many talents. In terms of looks, by far I give her 6.5 points. 6.5 points from a long shot or viewing her from far away.

The worse part she is so addicted to the attention of about 2,0000 followers she is constantly posting photos of herself at expensive places. She is sort of using me to pay for her extravagant meals so that she can appear to be “atas” on Instagram.

There was once I told her I was craving for some good old Hokkien Mee and guess what she said?

“We must eat at places where the dish is at least $50, so people will know. I am a high flying influencer”

The most lan pa thing is, that her salary is high for her age but not high enough to eat every meal at a $50/dish restaurant. At most I let her eat 8 meals a month at this kind of restaurant and shes broke.

But the thing is, she has been making me pay and says “If you love me then do it for me”.

I got together with her when we were not well off and even eating cup noodles was a happen moment for us.

She is beginning to lose everything that matters and the relationship is going downhill. She don’t feel it but I do.

I told her several times that we can eat normal things once in a while but she insist that every date needs to be at some atas place.

I’m not cheapo neither am I poor, just that in terms of thinking about the future this is something that affects the relationship.

But she rather spends her money on makeup and clothes rather than on savings, investment and insurance.

Some might say she is investing in her Instagram profile, but trust me she won’t go far unless she can afford plastic surgery. Since she has no savings, plastic surgery is out of the question.

Sometimes I really want to answer her “jiak sai” when she ask me where to go.

I’m thinking what is the best way for me to break the news to her. “It’s over”.

After some of my failed relationships with girls my age or lower here, and as I’m about to graduate, I realize that one thing I have never tried is to have a relationship with a married woman.

Had a senior 4 years my age that I liked back in the past, but she turned me down because she deemed me too immature for her taste (or at least that is what I guessed).

I started to realize that what I need is warmth, experiences, and understanding of an older-sister figure, yet also providing me the space to become the man to protect her.

So why married?

Probably because I see them as hotter and more forbidden – the more difficult it is to get the more appealing. Yes, yes, I know that my taste in women is degenerative and if I get caught trying to flirt with a married woman, I will be beaten to death.

And I don’t really like widows either, I like to have the feeling of taking away the wife of another man and successfully conquer the feeling of a settled, serious, and difficult woman.

People say that the more challenging it is, the more satisfying it feels to overcome. I have tried to flirt with girls who had boyfriends before but so far it wasn’t successful (one of them agreed to sleep with me as fwb but cut me off a few days afterwards out of guilt).

What should I do in my case? When I start to work, should I flirt with my older female colleagues and persuade them to leave their husbands for an adventurous and immoral-feeling relationship? How should I do so without the risk of losing my jobs or reputation?

For your information, I would rate myself a 8/10, I have an okay appearance, a bit on the thinner side but also taller.

My grandmother (GM) was kicked out of my aunt’s house went she caused so many marital problems my uncle threatened to divorce my aunt if she didn’t.

She lived for a few years in a nursing home before the pandemic but during the pandemic my aunt and mom got her out.

I’m the oldest of my mother’s children so I got so much pressure to take care of my grandma during the pandemic.

I didn’t mind too much initially because the deal was I didn’t pay rent and lived with her to cook, clean and help her with her diabetes.

I don’t know my GM well so I thought it might be a good bonding experience and I worked remote so it would be so bad. Well the first problem came when I told them I was bringing my dog.

My GM freaked out telling me she would never let a filthy animal in her house. It was the one dealbreaker I had and I told my aunt or mom Oliver (my dog) had to come with but they never told my GM for fear of her reaction.

I put my foot down saying if he isn’t coming I’m not either and I guess my GM gave up because she didn’t want to go back to the nursing home but she made Oliver’s life a living hell.

She would scream at him every time she was him and I tried to keep them separate but she would demand I abandon him because she’s my GM.

In the end I had no choice but to leave him with my friend temporarily because she was so unbearable.

Next was washing clothing, she demanded I wash all her clothing by hand and she had a washing machine but she would scream “you’re lazy!” at me if she catches me using it. She also wanted restaurant quality meals and throw sandwiches and cereal on the ground if she didn’t like it.

Finally she didn’t believe I worked because I work online (I’m an accountant) and she would yell at me during the middle of meeting for ignoring her when I told her I needed 30 min of peace to attend meeting.

My boss told me many times to get her to stop doing that but she never listens.

She has diabetes that isn’t managed well and I tried to get her on a healthy diet but she screams and yells at me when she doesn’t get what foods she wants which cause huge sugar fluctuations which causes her ulcers on her feet to get worse and weep.

It was hard to get Appointments to the doctor so I had to clean them and I am not qualified. When I persisted though the yelling and screaming her ulcers to maker her eat healthy her ulcers would get much better and start healing but in the end I gave up and let her eat anything she wanted so she would shut up but it made her blood sugars worse and her ulcers worse which I had to deal with.

So after almost 2 years of hell I got out and moved away. My GM is so mad because she expected I stay there looking after her until she passes.

I told my mom and aunt I wasn’t doing that and they begged me to guilty me with the fact she was going to die alone at a nursing home.

I feel like a terrible person because I didn’t feel any guilt I just didn’t care after dealing with her for 2 years

We’re approaching cartoonish levels of idiocy and density with my ex boss

So I was with this company for 11 weeks and it was all pretty dumb already. But I didn’t mind because it was more of an in-between kind of job. So today and I got a message last week asking me to come in and cover and catch up so people could take their vacations.

Thing is: I was fired a few days ago!! Why? Because they asked me to go out of the country for FOUR WEEKS with no additional allowance. At that point, I’d be losing money. I was the newest and lowest paid employee and they wanted me out of country for FOUR weeks.

So I just refused to go. I just didn’t go. They gave me a two-week notice and I was fired.

Come around a few days after my termination, and they start texting me saying ‘Well you don’t have kids, so how about covering for us? Huh? Huh? Huh?”

And my response is “I was literally fired, so NO.”

I also told them that I would accept it for $4000 per 8-hour shift and $1000 for an hour after that. I’m sure you can guess their response. They acted like I was the one being unreasonable because “I don’t have kids and don’t understand how much it means to them to have a vacation.”

What a load of bull

Rant over. Thanks for reading.

Netizens’ comments

Damn, some bosses are really thick and dense in the skull, he must be really shameless to still ask you to go back and help to cover for them.

If I were you, I would divert his call to a psychiatrist, because sounds like he is a psychopath who needs help, for real man, what is wrong with him…

I met her at my work as she was a new employee so I chatted with her and got to know her. From the beginning, I’ve liked her and I always tried to chat her up and spend more time with her at work.

I obviously respected boundaries and only did it in a friendly way, but I don’t know how it happened but she started to ask me to come to chat with her more and spend more time with her.

While nothing too serious has happened while we’ve been hanging out and chatting for the past few months, she has dropped quite a few hints for me.

It’s like every time she sees me she blushes, she makes little comments about my appearance and my personality, just a bunch of stuff that seems to make her feelings quite obvious.

I’ve been doing the same back when I feel it’s appropriate to let her know how I see her as well and I pay attention to her responses to make sure I’m not overstepping and boundaries.

To me, it just seems like a massive green light to try and establish something before she starts to think that I’m a lost cause that won’t make a move.

For example, she recently asked me if I liked another girl I was chatting with. It seems like if I don’t make my feelings clear, she will start to think that I like someone else or just don’t like her.

However, her life just isn’t very relationship friendly. We chat a lot at work, but her parents are extremely controlling and don’t allow her to spend time with her school friends, so I seriously doubt they’d allow for an older guy to take her to the movies or something.

I don’t know how I should move forward with this relationship as it seems the only time we can see each other is when we’re working.

We’ve been texting lately but I was never a fan of that kind of stuff and I just can’t keep a conversation with her that way.

I think I know the answer, that I need to decide to give up on her or decide to wait, but I just don’t want to close myself off to her and make the decision.

Also for what I feel is the elephant in the room, the age difference of 12 years. Personally, I feel like an insecure guy… there’s no special thing that separates me from her.

That being said it’s still something that concerns me and makes me feel guilty because I’ve always looked down upon age gaps till I had feelings for her, I’ll let others decide what to think and I’ll accept it.

People will judge me, she is 18 I’m 30…

My 20-year-old daughter has a troubled relationship with her boyfriend who is one year older.

They’ve been dating since the age of 16 and break up constantly. She is moody and proud, always picks fights over small things and has a hard time apologizing.

I was widowed last year and she has been living with me ever since. She’s not a good girlfriend, but she’s a great daughter.

Last year I noticed that she uses a really stupid tactic to attract him. She keeps some important things from him and when she wants to get back together, she tells him to get them.

They talk, go to the bedroom and are together again. The funniest thing is that she always keeps important things hostage: school books, documents, work materials… This time it was a PlayStation 5.

I just don’t understand all this drama. They have broke up once more and I saw his console in a box. She wasn’t home, so I decided to send the box through a delivery app and text him to let him know.

He thanked me a lot. When she arrived, she noticed that the box was no longer at our house. I said what I had done and now she is mad at me.

She says I’m being an “extra” for having delivered an object that wasn’t mine. In my defence, I said the console wasn’t hers either.

She calls me a busybody and I’m feeling guilty, but I believe she needs to stop acting so immature.

Did I do wrong?

Netizens’ comments

Get your daughter some help and tell her you won’t tolerate this kind of behaviour in your house.

If she’s been doing this for years then the boyfriend is probably used to it, yet strangely doesn’t pack all his stuff up when he leaves.

This is a typical Stockholm syndrome, ur daughter might be a psychopath.

I’m day drinking and upset.

I guess I’m just feeling bitter, and I try my best to not be, but I can’t help it right now because she’s got another achievement under her belt while I’m left here in the dust, just watching from the sidelines, and I’m so full of resentment.

I posted about her right before my life imploded. We had a pretty great life together. Two great kids who got along. A nice place. It was nice.

But I wasn’t ‘fulfilling her needs’, but she never properly communicated them to me. I never knew she was reaching the end of her rope with the relationship.

The worst part is, I still have to see her. I can’t avoid it because my kid loves her, and I’m the only father the youngest has ever known. She lets me take my little girl on the weekends, even though she doesn’t have to, which is great, really. I do appreciate it.

But every time I hear about how great she’s doing or how much she’s changed, I want to rip out my hair and scream. It’s like she’s someone completely different.

Her health is improving, which is fantastic, and she can work more than she used to, which is also fantastic.

But she went and got a job in corporate, even though she’s not like that. She gets paid way more than me, and flaunts it by telling me about how she’s meeting with lawyers to set up accounts for the girls, or how she has a huge fund going for my daughter because she’s going to university in two years, or how she’s going to finance a car, or save up for a house.

She has a ton of money in a life insurance account and made sure to tell me how much was in it under the guise of telling me how the kids would be taken care of if she dies.

She never cared about money, but now she’s all about it. We’re not a trust fund family and never will be, no matter how hard she tries to pretend.

Now, recently, she’s stopped coming by to cook for me and the kids. She’s obsessed with studying for an exam to become some stock broker because she thinks she can do stocks after making some money off of the market last year. She convinced a company to hire her, even though she has no experience with stuff like that.

Jesus Christ, she was a stay at home mom for years, and she thinks she’s going to become some Wolf of Wall Street character?

She used to come over once a week to meal prep, but she’s taking that away from me, too. She says she’s studying for her field’s equivalent to the bar exam, which is crazy. She’s never even been to school for this.

And she acts like she’s such a hotshot. She wouldn’t give me her manager’s contact information because of “security reasons” and she says that she has to follow certain rules these days because of her job, which is BS.

I’m just so angry about everything she’s done in the last few years. She’s left me behind and I hate it.

I have to see her every weekend when she comes over to make food for the kids, which she just wraps up and throws into the freezer, by the way, and she’s constantly throwing her good news in my face.

She used to bring Emma by on Saturdays and spend the day here cooking and spending time with both kids. She did it for YEARS until she got her fancy new job, so she’s fading that out, too.