Ok, so I know the title sounds bad, but bear with me – I had my reasons.

So, I have been really struggling to find a job since I graduated. I’m searching in a highly competitive field (think finance), and yesterday was the first time I was invited to an interview.

I took a few shots of whisky when I woke up, just to settle my nerves a little.

However, by the time I was sitting in the company’s waiting room, the effects had completely worn off. I started to feel sick with nerves – the pressure of the interview stage was getting to me after months of writing applications. I decided to sneak off to the toilet to take a couple of pre-interview shots to calm my nerves. The interview that followed actually went really well – I had great chemistry with the interviewer, and we were laughing, flirting etc.

The problem came when I, very stupidly, decided to sneak in another shot (for good luck) before the final interview with the CEO. Sadly, she emerged from her office precisely as I was mid-gulp. She looked horrified and told me to leave the building. I tried to explain to her about my anxiety, and how I was simply medicating it, but she wouldn’t listen and called security to take me away. Afterwards, I sent the company an apology e-mail and asked for another chance, but they haven’t yet replied.

My mother thinks I’m an ***hole for drinking at all and called me an alcoholic, (she doesn’t really understand alcohol,) but my brother ‘doesn’t see the issue’ as long as I wasn’t drunk.

Am I wrong? Come on!

How to make the best out of my 16 weeks in a snake pit?

To those who are hanging in there, trying to complete your contract at a job before you say adios, how do you do it?

Stuck in a company for another 16 weeks and as the weeks go by and I am beginning to resent my supervisor. Doesn’t helps that I have to see him all five days in office lol.

This man openly gossips to other co-workers who are seated next to his cubicle about this woman who used to be under him.

The woman in question has resigned two months ago to spend more time with her newborn, and he still continues to engage in gossips, saying how “weird” she is and makes pointless jokes about her.

I know that if he has the audacity to talk this openly about someone who reports to him, he is definitely gossiping about me, the other woman who reports to him.

I make a mistake and I get blasted in the group chat. Someone he openly favours makes the same mistake and he tells me to “it’s not a major mistake” when I point that out. All while this joker tells me that we need to “uphold standards in the work we produce” when he has little to none to begin with.

I contribute ideas to the team and it gets shot down instantly. Person A, whom he favours and loves, says the same thing after paraphrasing and it gets a pass.

I dread stepping into office every Monday and stopped working over the weekends (used to every single weekend) because it never gets appreciated.

Just don’t know how to ride out the next 16 weeks. Any tips will be appreciated. I desperately need it.

Thank you in advance!

Hi everyone. Do bear with me as this is going to be a long post.

I have been working in Company X for close to 4 years. Last month, I was being terminated with immediate effect by the company while I was 16 weeks pregnant without any maternity compensation or notice in lieu payment.

I strongly believe that the termination was related to my pregnancy as I have been facing discrimination up to the point of my termination.

During my first trimester of pregnancy, I had a series of events which required me to seek medical attention due to brown spotting.

I had been recommended by the doctor to be placed on light duties at work until my condition stabilises as my condition has a risk of a miscarriage.

I had a discussion with my boss and we have mutually agreed that I will be taking unpaid leave for the next 30 days as they do not have any light duties to put me on.

I had a high fever on the 30th day and I went to a clinic where the doctor has taken my temperature and prescribed me pregnancy safe medication and was given a 5 days MC to recover at home.

When I returned back to work after the 30+5 days and my condition stabilised, I was then told I will be placed under a Performance Improvement Program as they would like to monitor my working performance and attendance.

Upon enquiring on what was the act of misconduct being committed, my boss and manager has very begrudgingly claimed that I have not been considering how my team were working hard to cover me during my absence and this has caused disruptions in their operations.

I was reluctant to sign as I feared that this would mean that I have acknowledged that I have committed a wrongdoing which I found it appalling to be accused of this when it was a mutual agreement for me to be away in order for my pregnancy to stabilise.

I was then being told that it is not by choice for me to acknowledge and I would have to sign the PIP agreement or hand in my resignation letter.

For context, we are working in a retail and shift environment and 5.5 days a week. I have never had any performance issues even prior to my pregnancy and I have had many good reviews on the company’s Google Page Reviews and returning customers who looks for me.

I have even recommended my friends and family members to engage in the company’s product and services and my relationship with my boss and manager has been good up until the point where they found out I was pregnant.

I have even tendered my resignation in 2022 and was counter offered to stay on with them. I suspect that this move of placing me under PIP was a calculated move in order to fulfil the requirements set out on MOM website to terminate me eventually despite pregnancy protection.

After this incident, I noticed a change of attitude towards me from my boss and manager during work. Whenever they found an opportunity to shout or scold me, they would take it.

I would lament to my family members at home about how miserable at work I am and if I should resign. With their encouragement, I decided to grit my teeth and stay on as I do have a BTO which is estimated to be complete on June 2024 and I would be needing to have an income to acquire a sufficient quantum of HDB loan.

About a month later, I was being called in to a room by my boss and manager. They have alleged that I have influenced my colleague to join rival companies and I have breached a non-solicitation clause stated in my employment contract that I am not allowed to influence or attempt to influence a colleague to join rival companies during my employment with them.

This has caused me to be confused as they alleged that the colleague who I influenced to join a rival company is the colleague who I have referred in to join us 2 months ago.

My colleague has shared with me that she has been quite stressed to be working in such a fast paced environment and has been even crying to her mother at home. She confided in me if she should resign and move on to a slower paced environment.

I have shared with my colleague the pros and cons of leaving now as most companies may question on why would she leave her current employment after such a short stay, but if the mental health is more important to her, there are a lot of job postings online to explore.

Somehow, there was another colleague who was eavesdropping on our conversation and have reported this to my boss. My boss then told me that it is either I hand in my resignation or they will be presenting me with a termination letter with immediate effect without any maternity compensation or notice in lieu.

I have chosen the latter and I have reported this matter to TADM which I will be seeking compensation on my maternity benefit and notice in lieu.

Now the biggest concern I have now is, I am having a very hard time securing a new role due to my pregnancy and no company would be willing to hire me now and I have a BTO ready in June 2024.

I am unable to work until maybe about February or March 2024 after my rest from my estimated delivery date in November 2023.

Would like to seek some advise if anyone here has any similar scenarios where they would be able to share how or what can I expect from here on?

Thank you so much for reading up till this point and appreciate any kind responses.

TLDR; I was being wrongfully terminated while being pregnant and I am concerned over how I can obtain a sufficient quantum for my BTO loan which I am able to collect my keys in June 2024.

A woman shared how she insisted on having a “cash deposit” of $50,000 instead of the traditional engagement/wedding rings from her boyfriend, saying that the ring is not worth much more than cash.

She described it as being like a form of compensation for her in case her boyfriend (future husband) cheats on or mistreats her in the marriage.

Here is what she said

My bf and I have been together for 2 years and we have been working for a few years now. Recently we have been looking at engagement rings.

After doing some research, I realised that diamond rings have a very low resale value so I decided that I do not want a diamond ring anymore. I read that contractors often received a deposit before completing their job and marriage is a lifelong job. So it makes perfect sense for me to take a deposit from my husband-to-be.

So I told him $50,000.

He was happy when I told him that I do not want a diamond ring but he called me crazy when I asked him to propose to me with a stack of cash. He then asked me why I want a $50k and I said the cash would be like a form of compensation for me. Like if he ever mistreats or cheats on me in our marriage, I can still have some cash if things go sideways and take care of myself.

He then said, that is like preparing for divorce before getting married. Macham Alimony

After trying to persuade him for like an hour, he still insisted that my idea is crazy. But he has $60k of savings in his bank so he can afford it and shouldn’t be a problem for him. But he is totally unwilling to proceed.

Was I really crazy to ask for a deposit?

In 2019 my wife got very close with a colleague. I asked her if she had a crush on her 19y.o colleague and she admitted she did. She is like 12 years older than him

She also admitted that at times they flirt and that she liked it. This shocked me and all of this came out right before my birthday vacation we were taking.

The entire vacation she was texting this guy (yes, including on my birthday) I wanted to stay out and go to bars but she (wife) wanted to go back to our hotel on my birthday.

This continued all the time. She would go to bars with this guy and go over to his house and not come home all night. I called her screaming one night telling her to come home (immature) and she stayed at her house for another 2 hours after my call.

One night, she said she was going to the bar with one of her male friends. I had work early the next morning and at this point, she had sworn to me that she had cut off contact with the colleague.

I went to sleep not thinking anything of it. She comes home super late (whatever) wakes me up so I get up to go pee and I’m watching a different colleagues Instagram story and low and behold – my wife had gone to a party at the house of THAT GUY I think she cheated on me with.

Fairly soon after that, the coworker moved and the problem (supposedly) stopped. A few weeks ago I saw my wife had liked a few of that colleague’s pictures on Instagram recently (despite unfollowing her).

She claims it was an accident when sending her posts to someone else making fun of her, and I don’t believe her. Because of this and some other lies, she’s told I’ve made us go to couples counselling recently but I feel like it’s too late.

I want to throw in the towel because I know she cheated on me in my gut. I feel like an idiot for trusting her. I know it would break my heart if we split up, but I can’t get over it. It’s like every time she tries to criticize me all I can think is “so what, you cheated on me.”

Fast forward to the present, I should have divorce with her back then, cause she did it again. Once a cheater forever a cheater.

Several netizens took to social media to share their experiences with the infamous blur sotongs during their national service days in the army.

Recruit keeps calling female officer “sir”

We had this guy, without fail, will call our ma’am “sir”. Every single time he talked to her. Always come out one “Yes sir” or “Thank you sir” First time, the ma’am just brushed it off as she knows it’s like muscle memory. But 2nd and 3rd time, she got annoyed and started scolding him.

She got so fed up, she instructed the rest of us to make sure he gets it right, if not we all kena. So we sat him down and made him repeat simple instructions using “ma’am” instead of “sir”. And he was sure he got it already, kept reassuring us, don’t worry won’t happen again.

Next time we saw our ma’am, he damn confident. Went up to her, said loudly: “Good morning…. Mom“. I swear the whole lot of us facepalmed at the same time.

Accidentally sabo company book out late.

Encik, why we cannot book out early on Friday, you every time make us stay until 6pm so late we hungry how.

Encik: ok indent dinner every Fri from now.

Blur sotong says he will destroy the country during rifle ceremony

During the rifle presentation ceremony, we were supposed to shout “WITH THIS RIFLE, I WILL DEFEND MY COUNTRY!”

This blur sotong, when he got his rifle, panicked (because there were many high ranking officers and photographers watching) and shouted:

“WITH THIS RIFLE, I WILL DE.. DE.. DESTROY MY COUNTRY! No, def… DEFEND MY COUNTRY SIR! SORRY SIR!”

I was in the front row and I tried sooooo f-ing hard to control my laughter because I knew when we returned to coyline, all of us were going to kena one time good one.

I remember looking at my encik and the look of horror on his face was incredible, he was so horrified because there was a bunch of majors and LTCs around him.

We went back to coyline and faced the floor, just because one bodoh don’t know how to differentiate “defend” and “destroy”.

Missing equipment, whole platoon kena

“Bro you confirm holding on to the TF cap/SG pin ah?

Sotong: “Ya cfm la I check already action with squeezing grenade pouch”

Proceed to fight through the whole jungle for another mission to another location.

Summex, shag AF. Can’t wait to RTU. While returning RAI.

Sotong: “eh you got pass me the cap/ring anot ah? Can’t find leh”

Whole platoon: vulgarities

“Whole platoon go back find RAI. After that stay back to help count RAI . The rest RTU first before tonner get stuck NMT”.

Blurcock was my buddy. Unfortunately he never talked much so its more of his actions than anything else.

Blur sotong kena “excused complicated information”

This happened a long time ago so apologise if I remember certain things wrongly haha.

This happened during our time in 8SIR (A.k.a security trooper training). There was this guy of us from our platoon who wasn’t very good with English. Everytime before we have our admin time, we will have a water parade where we need to recite the ST Creed. One of the ST would need to lead in the recital. At the last sentence in the creed, the ST needs to shout :

“We Always stand our ground! never back down!”

For one of the parades, he got arrowed to by the sergeant. Even with constant guidance by the sergeant, he kept forgetting the words. At the last sentence, he shouted:

“We never stand our ground! always back down!”

Everyone was trying so hard to not laugh. The best was that guy shouted with confidence and had the smirk in his face as if he scored marksman’s.

Subsequently he was given an excuse called “Excused Complicated information”.

Check clear, accidentally fired off 1 round

We did some urban blank shooting exercises. Once we done, we need to “sumpah” that there are no more rounds left with us. We fall in and then “Bang”, trigger happy finger + a round still left in this blur sotong SR21.

God damn, Everyone get so terribly terrified. The Encik and platoon sergeant were discussing weather this guy should go DB straight or not? We were so sure that he is dead meat. In the end 2 weeks SOL for this guy. Another exercise, then we did the “Sumpah” again.

The Sargent ask him specifically, make sure no more round on him and he say confirm. Then he got a full spot check, 2 rounds found inside his LBV. GG, this guy go in DB for 2 weeks. Damn how sotong can this guy be…

I have run into this issue more times than I can count: men who wax poetic about smart, self-sufficient women but then turn around and say nonsensical stuff like, “you’re too educated” “you’re a know-it-all” “you’re mean/arrogant/condescending” (that last one was from my most recent ex who didn’t like when I expressed my opinion, he challenged it, and I cited sources and found the information to back up my point).

Now, in all fairness, I am willing to accept that part of it might be my delivery or the fact that I have a very dry, sarcastic sense of humour. I also am adamant that I refuse to dumb myself down for anyone.

But after a while, it does start to wear on me that I can’t find someone who actually appreciates my intelligence and curiosity.

Any insight or advice on how to navigate this while still being true to myself would be much appreciated!

Here are what netizens think:

• I am attracted to intelligent women and have never been put off by a woman’s intelligence. My ex was busy with her PHD in economics, and we had wonderfully in-depth conversations about all kinds of things, it was great. The woman I’ve just started seeing is also smart and is busy with a master’s degree. Not that higher education = high intelligence all the time, but there is some general illustrative value here I feel.

• What I have found to be quite off putting with some really intelligent women is when they pair it with arrogance, and in some cases quite low EQ. This is the same for guys. I find dudes who are super “intelligent” but lack basic self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and general wisdom to be absolutely insufferable.

• I also like women who are loving and kind, and sometimes I’ve noticed that smart people in general can present as lacking in these qualities.

• Maybe some men are put off by intelligence, I can’t say I relate or have seen it in my male friends. But be carful of falling into the trap of this assumption when it’s actually a lot more complex than that.

• It’s book smarts vs street smarts. “Intelligence” can mean lots of things. Degrees and PHDs etc only show one is good at schooling etc. doesn’t define intelligence at all.

When me and my wife first got married we got matching tattoos of each other names.

Well recently she cheated on me and we got a divorce. She got her tattoo of my name removed, and I was planning on getting mine removed but then I got a better idea. I called my tattoo artist and I got a tombstone on her name and under it, it says “rot in hell”.

When I went over to her apartment to pick up my 8-year-old daughter she pointed out the work I got on my Tattoo. I asked if she liked it, she just laughed awkwardly and that was the end of it for now.

Later that night I’m watching TV with my daughter and my phone start going off like crazy, it was my ex. She was saying how hurtful it was to see what I did to the tattoo, and how I should’ve gotten it removed.

I feel kinda bad after talking to her about the tattoo but well she cheated so she probably deserved it.

Here are what netizens think:

1. Divorce It’s tough on everyone, but especially on your children. This is an awful thing for your child to see. Whether you like your ex or not she is still her mother. This is a major jerk move
2. a few wives later and we’ll have a beautiful Cemetery-
3. as a woman, if I saw a man with this tattooed on his body I would run the other direction. It really does not show a healthy way of dealing with issues.
4. I wouldn’t date a man with a tattoo like that. No way would I want to be wife number 2 and risk eventually having my own tombstone on his arm.
5. Yea. I fully get wishing the ex was dead. But not if there is a kid, who has to see his mother’s name like that.

I have gone on 2 dates with a guy whom I met on a dating app and I’m not sure if I should continue going out with him.

We are of the same age and can click reasonably well, and share some similar interests. However 2 aspects of him bother me.

Firstly – he doesn’t behave as is expected of a gentleman. For instance, he doesn’t hold open the door for me, pull out the chair for me at the restaurant and say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ to the waitresses. On the second date, I brought a big-sized item but he did not offer to help me carry it at least.

Secondly – he tends to speak too much Singlish while I’m more comfortable sticking to the correct form of English / Chinese I’m using. I am a bit surprised as he holds a masters degree and works in a reputable firm. I don’t know if I’m fussy but I was brought up in a family that emphasizes a lot on courtesy and presentation of oneself.

He has asked me for a third date and I’m not sure how to reply to him. Given that I don’t know him that well yet, is it bad that I point out these issues straight up to him?

Here are what netizens think:

• Right… The thankless waitress bit does raise an eyebrow on courtesy, but as for yourself… You looking to date a class act is it? Gentlemanly gestures like those are not an obligation, but a bonus, when you consider the typical culture of our nation.That said, the lack of gentlemanly actions are simply things to frown upon if they don’t meet your standards on what makes a man. You’re only dating now, he’s free to be himself, and so are you.Red flags are such an easy word to overuse. If you’ve already dated or started dating and his attitude suddenly changes to this, then that, is an actual red flag. Because nobody just loses their manners or upbringing in an instant and without reason.

• Pull chair and open door? Does the guy need to call you your royal highness too?

• Think twice what is so special about you yourself.

• I used to work in a UK company, my boss asked “why it is when you speak to me, you speak proper english, but when the few of you (singaporean) together i couldn’t understand a single word even i know it is english. there is nothing wrong in speaking singlish with friends and family, i too have master. in workplace when we speak with clients, supervisor, doing presentation we used proper english. If you look down on him no point in going further, just stay silent and he will get the message

• Oi! Ah girl ah, why you boh suka limpeh talking singlish leh? We are Singapore lang and should embrace our culture mah.And oso why beh tahan limpeh no move chair or is open door huh? This is 2022 lah. Woman can open own door mah. So picky one you. Aiyah, limpeh 看错了 you. So beh gum one. 算了! Limpeh not taking you out again. 算 limpeh pai mia to meet you. So sway one.

I messed up and I need an abortion. What do I do?

I’m f20. My period is 2 weeks late so i decided to get a pregnancy test kit. Both the tests indicated that im pregnant.

What should i do? I dont have any medisave since i just finished school. Any affordable clinics i can go to in Singapore to go thru with my abortion or should I take some abortion pills.

I don’t have much money since I just finished school and I don’t want my parents involved in this. What can I do?

I read some posts where they paid about $200 with a referral from the poly and then paid the rest with medisave.

Is instalment payment available for an abortion? Any help would be appreciated. Thank you very much!

Netizens’ comments

1. You need to go to a GP or polyclinic asap and have a chat with the doctor. They will advise you on what you can do, and their advice is worth a ton more than any advice you can get online.
   this burden is not yours to bear alone, go with your guy or a friend
2. I recently had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks, there was a water bag but no fetus inside. They still had to terminate the “pregnancy” as my body wasn’t recognising there wasn’t a baby in there. I was prescribed an abortion pill called Misoprostol which was less than $10 and everything was out within a day. This was done at SGH. Not sure if this would be an option for you but it’s definitely affordable and easy if it is. Perhaps try the polyclinic then referral to hospital route? Good luck, feel free to PM if you need more info.
3. See your GP and listen to him/her. They know how everything works and will help you.
   Also find a person that can help you go through with this. Abortion is not a small thing for your body and your mental health. Also the hormones from abortion and pregnancy will screw with you in weird ways.
   Please dont go through this alone. Whatever happens find a person