Is this the norm in SG?

As I grow older, it feels harder to be genuinely happy.

I count my blessings for not having to worry about daily essentials, but yet every passing day still feels like a mere distraction, towards an end that’s nowhere in sight.

Weekdays are for meeting deadlines; weekends are for fulfilling societal expectations. Payday comes and goes, only to squirrel away whatever balance after expenses.

It’s also getting harder to be truly interested in conversations, especially when mobile phone entertainment seems more engaging.

Did anyone else feel this way, and how do you get out of this rut?

Netizens’ comments

1. Lack of interest can be a sign of burnout. I was overworked before to the point where I felt dead and life was not worth living anymore.
   I quit my job to try something different and that helped a little. However, I got too good at this job and my work has been piling up, so I tendered again because I don’t want to end up in the same situation.
   Now I’m looking forward to taking some courses, and explore other options. It’s subsidised for ppl aged 40 and above.
   So, my suggestion is to diagnose why you feel this way. If you have work life balance, then perhaps you need a change in environment or try different experiences to get your creative engine going.
   I find that travel to a new country works wonders, or learning a new skill or language can mix things up a bit. I’m saying this because I’ve found these rather useful for me. Or maybe you just need to do nothing at a beach somewhere. 🙂
2. To me Singapore feels almost like a closed bubble. People say it’s like Disney Land (for the rich), but for the working class, the demand of work and societal expectation to ‘succeed in life’ make Singapore feel like a bubble of ‘work’.
   Whenever discussions on meaning come up, it comes down mostly to the family, and the spectre of chasing material success—for the sake of the family ironically—again comes up. We cannot run away from chasing material success. The whole project of life is defined in its term.
   We live to work. We work to live.
   It does not help that the physical space of Singapore almost feels like a bubble, an island with urban architecture. The lack of rurality leads to a lack of space for contemplation: of life, of nature, of relationships, since the urban speed at which we enjoy relationships and external environs make us unable to breathe slowly and look inward deeply, discovering meaning.
   Do this day in and day out, every day of our adult life, and our senses for the transcendent atrophy. We become insensitive to meaning, to wonder and awe of existence and life.
   Which is why my advice is actually to travel. Not to other urban spaces like Hong Kong, Seoul, etc. where you will end up breathing the same spirit, but to rural places where traditions are alive and people are connected to each other and to nature. See how other societies live and imbibe their worldviews. There are many ways we can draw meaning that we are not used to, far beyond the spiritual boredom we are used to cultivating inadvertently.
   Maybe we can feel wonder in life again!
3. Been feeling the same way as OP. Every week feels like an endless cycle and the months just mesh together.
   Am afraid of my ‘prime’ just passing me by like this so I made the decision to put my job on hold (boss was nice to grant a sabbatical) and go travel for 6 months.
   I might come back broke-ish but hopefully I’ll gain a whole new worldview and I think my mental health really needs it.

I am in the 3rd year of a relationship with a girl from architecture.

Since the beginning of the relationship, we have gone dutch on most of our dates except special occasions, which she insisted on paying for everything.

But in the past few months, she has insisted to pay for every date we go on. this makes me rather uncomfortable as i feel as a man, i should be paying.

However, she said she has no problem paying, and even offered me a monthly pocket money to spend on myself.

I am not sure if we are in a healthy relationship as i feel she is wearing the pants and i am of a lesser man.

Thinking about this, I am crying while typing this, should I end the relationship?

Netizens’ comments

1. Many guys would be trading places with you dude! Hahahaha… Jokes aside. If you feel bad, save those money aside and bring her to a decent meal, or get her a gift that she had been eyeing.
2. She got any sisters to intro bro? Or I could take over … The allowance that is .. :)))
3. U save up all the $ and buy her a limited edition Hermes for Valentine day lor
4. Yeah end the relationship, she doesn’t deserve you. How much is the pocket money btw? Asking for a friend..
5. Then reciprocate by getting her gifts or little things? Like snacks or a surprise visit to her after a class with a cuppa?
6. Why should you be crying? No need to even shed tears on this trival matter.. If you are not feeling comfortable, share it out? Share with her your feelings, be trueful if u want this relationship to on. If she still insist to pay after talk then you have to decide whether you want to carry on or have other choice of this relationship.. Jia you..
7. Well you are already a lesser man as you said that you are crying while typing. Accept the fact la!

Going to graduate soon, and my mum is like faster go find job, any job just take. I recently declined a super lowball 2.5k job, and she has been nagging at me ever since, totally regret telling her.

Her perspective is like, lowball or what, she doesnt unds, hv money go work, people looking for jobs shld get any job they can.

Then I ask her, so you want me to be depressed and low pay? Then my mum said, still got pay what, how difficult can the work be, isn’t it just typing (tech job btw), dont think too much, interview say OT and weekend work just scaring ppl, wont happen one.

She has only worked pt jobs w low qualifications so she dont unds me, like at all. And she die die dont believe me when I said OT work no extra pay, she kept insisting that OT work is good cos got extra money.

Everyday is like this. “Pay ok what, any pay just say yes la, there is no pay that is low, the companies know what to pay you, dont big mouth. Work tiring meh? Sit down get fat only, move fingers.

Unhappy resign also ok what, got money”. Wha she so money minded I really cannot tahan. Everything is money money money, not like we living in rental flat or damn poor.

Ok I really dont unds her and it’s not like I’m shaking my legs at home or not paying my part of the bills, she keeps nagging me to find any job, like literally 2k also ok range to her.

How to get through to her idk. Other parents hv high expectations of their kids, then there’s mine, 2.5k is very good for a degree holder, on the other extreme end.

I give up alrdy, just job search in silence.

Is it okay for a mother to enforce curfews on her sons when they’re grown up?

I am a 24M in university, and I still get called up at pre-midnight hours by my mother to get back home asap. I do like to enjoy my time with friends and s/o and that sometimes exceeds certain hours of the day.

Usually the easiest solution is to ignore or appease, but the same issue keeps popping up over the years. It sucks when your friends and s/o overhear my conversations with my mum, and to know I as an adult still get given a curfew.

As far as I know, my older sibling got the same treatment as well, and the way he handled it was by ignoring all the nagging and reprimanding.

I really dislike conflicting with my mother as it gets more tiresome (she can keep rambling on and on, sometimes leaving for 2-3min and coming back/calling on the phone multiple times after she thought about what else to nag about).

She claims it’s because I have work/school/etc reasons and need to be alert throughout the day (which I’ve never demonstrated my incapability for).

Honestly the best solution was to stay in student housing, but that isn’t applicable all of the time (and won’t be after I graduate).

What should I do? Is this parenting gone too far, or am I just being a brat?

Netizens’ comments

I was like you once, when i was in my 20s. my mom would always call nearing midnight, even when i get to 30+ she’ll still call to check in on me any time I get home late. She does it for both me and my elder sis who’s wayyyy older.

My mom passed on 2 years ago, and man oh man, what I would give to get that phone call again and hear her voice on the other end.

One day all our moms will stop calling, in the mean time when they do, pick up the damn phone and say you’ll be back soon. Nothing to be embarrassed about, your mom loves you.