Local SME

Honestly SMEs have one of the most toxic environment. Especially so when it’s a family run business. SOPs are all over the place, dated, or non existent, and you 1 person, is expected to take on 1000x other responsibilities that they’re too cheapskate to hire actual people for. Yet, they have budget to hire c suite executives with fat pay checks doing nothing, and totally unaware of what’s happening on the ground.

Welfare benefits are non existent, no medical benefit, aws nor vb. Salary is nett and barely on par with market rate. Employees are burnt out, underpaid and undervalued. Clowns running a circus, lining their fat pockets on expense of employees.

Can’t wait to leave once I secure a new job.

Here are what netizens think:

• small business owner, would rather spend the time doing the business than mapping out, documenting and training business processes. Many don’t have the extra overheads for these trainings. On the bright side, you are not stuck with a process, you are free to design your own, as long as it makes sense, legal, etc. Many like working in SME for this reasons, but it’s not for everyone.

Go mnc. There are benefits. Still toxic, but there are benefits. (90% of work culture in sg is toxic. I’ve been in both).

• Make use of this place as a training ground for better upskill line.

• Worked for SMEs and MNCs. Pro and cons for both, depending largely on the company culture. MNCs tend to have a lot of red tape all over the place while SME has no resources to do anything. LOL

• I agree with the low benefits, but I don’t agree with undervalued. I thought one perk of SME is that your talent will be noticed easily

• Unfortunately, SMEs hardly see the need to hire a C&B Manager who can propose and implement better Total Rewards to motivate and recognize employees for their contributions. Payroll is their priority.

Chasing after brands

I’m in my early 20s, and at this current stage whereby all my girl friends / colleagues are chasing after branded bags and accessories.. I can’t help but feel pressured to own one too and indeed FOMO. Seeing them clad with CD, Chanel, LV, etc makes me feel tempted to get one too. And they bags are genuinely beautiful, like the Lady Dior Bag.

The thing is, I’m actually disappointed in myself that I’m yielding to the temptation and societal pressure, I was never into luxury brands and only ever owned C&K, Pedro, non branded bags.

However, my girls told me that every girl has to have a really ‘good bag’ as a statement piece; especially for our age you wouldn’t want to be caught with ‘non luxury bags’ and they say its also a like a ‘reward for yourself for working hard’.

Can any ladies advise if it’s really worth it to buy a luxury bag? Genuinely seeking advise, no trolls please. Thanks!

Here are what netizens think:

• i agree, having a good bag and a good watch for events is essential. I find LV bags (the canvas leather kinds) to be really sturdy and you get good mileage from the price. I have a couple from over 15 years ago and they’re still in great condition (and I’m really rough with my bags). Tod’s leather is good too. Other brands I find they scratch/dent/are too fragile for my liking (again, I’m rough with my bags). With that being said, no need to go overboard. One or two branded bags will suffice. And there are other really good bags without the luxury branding that are truly excellent. My go-to brand is Motherhouse (a Japanese brand) – their leather is fantastic, they can withstand my rough handling, and there’s free aftercare (you can drop off the bags for leather cleaning/treatment). Their stores are at Jewel and Suntec. I use their bags for daily wear.

• When you are retired at an early age with cash in your bank account and your investments rolling in the passive income, and enjoying yourself busking on the beach in the sunset, that’s when you can tell yourself you are rewarding yourself for your hard work.

• I’m 40 years old and i don’t own any branded bag. I prefer to spend it on traveling, food, on my loved ones or even donate to charity organizations. Helping others makes me even more happy than buying any expensive stuff, that’s money can’t buy. Do what you want to do, the money is yours, you get to decide what you want to do with it. We don’t have to necessary follow the society standard especially with this kind of stuff. I know for your age is too early to say this but Life is short. Just live the way as you want, that you feel comfortable with. Just be your own self and be proud of yourself.

My boyfriend (M22) won’t let me (F21) play games with other guys

My boyfriend is a gamer and I was influenced by him. Last year, I asked my dad to buy me a PC just so I can play with him and I got hooked after a while.

My boyfriend is the jealous type since then and he won’t let other guys get too close with me.

There’s even one time where he asked me to unfriend the strangers I met online after learning that I’ve been playing with this group of people for like 3 nights in a row.

I’m fine with that. We recently got back together and it’s really hard for us right now to reconnect since he learned that his online friend flirted with me during our breakup.

Recently, I have been playing with my new friends which are guys and my boyfriend got mad at me for it. He told me that he still have trust issues and that I am not allowed to play without him unless it’s a girl I am playing with.

He told me that the only guy I can play games with should be him. I got mad and told him that it is unfair for me since I don’t wanna play alone since it’s more fun to play when there’s other people around.

Are my feelings valid?

Netizens’ comments

1. You’re not a child and he’s not your dad. He cannot tell you what to do. Don’t let any boy do that. His jealousy is his problem to manage, not yours. This is not the guy for you.
2. As always, there is no such thing as “my partner won’t let me.” You are not a prisoner and he is not a warden.
   Have some self respect and don’t date a man who tries to tell you what you can or cannot do.
3. Your feelings are valid and that’s a huge red flag.
   What’s his reasoning? Is he worried you’re cheating? Then he doesn’t trust you and he’s going to make you jump through a lot of hoops to earn his trust which he’ll always withhold while making you miserable.
   Is he worried they’ll hit on you? Not your fault, but you’re capable of dealing with that and men are capable of exercising some basic self restraint.
   To be honest, this post is a good argument for breaking up with him.
4. Drop him. Just drop him. Who you game with doesn’t matter. and trying to control that is insane. Run away. Far away.

Are happy endings ok when you’re in a relationship? I found out my bf (m29) got a happy ending while I (f24) was away

TLDR/ This morning I found out that my bf of almost 3 years got a happy ending massage while I was away with family and I couldn’t believe it.

He’s usually the most loving, caring and affectionate bf anyone can have. He always prioritizes me in his life. We have a great relationship, we rarely ever fight and are quite loving.

Recently he’s being extra affectionate to me and I had a weird feeling about it but disregarded it because I didn’t think my loving bf would do anything to hurt me.

However, we got on the topic of dealbreakers this morning and I said cheating would be one of them. He made a weird face and I asked him as a joke if he did anything.

Then he confessed to me that he went to a happy ending massage about a month ago when I was away and it was recommended by a friend.

I was immediately shocked and cried and went home. He was being super sorry and apologetic. His excuses were that it was just an one time thing, he would never do it again and he wasn’t being himself (life stresses maybe?).

He said he would understand if I want to end things because of this. However, if I do forgive him, he would give it 100% to try to regain my trust.

Such as going couples counseling, going to therapy himself and working on himself. Ultimately it’s up to me right now wether to continue this relationship or not.

I feel super hurt and confused to why he would do this. I most definitely saw a future with him but I would also feel super stupid for forgiving him for something like this.

How would I know if he wouldn’t do this again? Have you ever forgiven your partner for a mistake they confessed to you and what were the outcomes? Should I forgive him? If I do, how can I get over this ?

I don’t like my wife anymore

She is a mean person. We are rarely intimate, like rarely kiss. Every once in a while she will give me a hug. Nothing is ever good enough.

For example, today I went grocery shopping for the week, took our 3 yr old daughter. After that I worked did some housework, cooked for the family and made some medium rare steaks,

She had a fit and stormed off because they had slight pink. I offered to throw them back on, nooope not good enough.

Isn’t medium rare steak supposed to be slightly pinkish inside? Does she f-ing want to eat a well done steak instead? How well done does she want it? I’ll make it so “well done” that it becomes “congratulations” instead.

She loves to act like I do nothing. Yet it’s me that gets the kids ready in the morning, I changed my work hours so I can pick them up from daycare, bring them home and have dinner ready when she gets home. I do a fair amount of cleaning and handling the kids.

Anyway. I’m just ranting. I’m stuck with her, if I divorce her, I’ll lose my kids. I’ll get 2 weekends a month. The pain of missing them would be far greater that just dealing with her.

Things are peaceful most of the time. It’s just little digs that get to me. Like we will both be on our phones after work while the kids play, they will need something and she will put her phone down and say “there are 2 adults here”. Like she wasn’t doing the same damn thing I was. It’s little digs like that, that drive the wedge.

Netizens’ comments

1. My son was dealing with a similar situation. She had no problem embarrassing him in front of her family, belittling him as a father until he left. Now she constantly speaks negative of him for leaving and I ask her constantly that if he was sooooooo bad, why do you want him back? She either doesn’t answer of gives some pitiful reason.
2. Have you talked with her about your feelings? If you lay out everything you did today and point out that she got mad at the pink burger what would she say? Also, counseling is always a possibility.
3. Why don’t you see with a lawyer what you need to have and do to have 50/50 custody ? Be clever and prepare a way to have what you want without allowing her to hurt you!
4. I hate that people have to live this way so miserable and unappreciated. Most of us women would kill to have a man like this in their lives but it seems like it’s always the selfish ones that win in the end. I don’t get it. I hope things can turn around for you.

Did I ‘ride’ my boyfriends face to hard?

So, my boyfriend asked if I would sit on his face tonight, and I was very happy to say yes. But I kinda got a bit to into it and ended up grinding into his face pretty hard as well as pulling his hair…etc…

I apologized but he said it was okay and that he really enjoyed it, but I feel like he’s saying that only to make me feel better.

So my question is how hard is to much? I really enjoyed it but I’m kinda worried now that I went way to harsh, I just want to know if he’s just being nice by saying he enjoyed it or not I guess

Netizens’ comments

1. Talk to him. I know you said you did, but if you’re not convinced by his reply, you need to talk to him some more. Some guys love it when you ride them hard. I’ve done it with a guy I was more dominant with.
   You should start carefully anyways. And see how the guy responds.
   • (OP) I think I will, he talked a but I definitely think I need to make sure he liked it as much as he said he did before I do it again
2. I had a girl give a me a bloody nose sitting on my face. It started off normally and she was getting into it. I pulled her ahead and started grinding her v on my nose. The next thing you know. I had the taste of blood in my mouth.
3. GLORY GLORY WHAT A HELL OF A DAY TO DIE
4. don’t worry about it, we men love that! Do it again and again! We all wish we had someone like you
5. You have nothing to worry about. He meant what he said when he said he enjoyed it.

Wrong to take pictures of public?

So recently I was waiting outside a MRT station for a friend, and I snap a picture of the exit of MRT and sent it to my friend to let him know the precise location I am waiting.

then this lady came up to me and confronted me saying its unlawful to take pictures in public and I stand my my ground arguing i did nothing wrong, even showed her the picture i took does not have her in it.

can I ask is there law that say i cannot take a picture of public places with random people in it?

Netizens’ comments

1. No issues. Sorry u met a karen. Certain singaporeans overly stressed until brains spoilt.
2. Definitely can take. If not how u report to SGsecure if can’t take pictures??
3. The only public space I know that you can’t take pictures at js the checkpoint (while waiting to check your passport). I witnessed a group of tourists happily taking photos but an ICA officer told them to delete them right away.
4. Not illegal to take photos of the MRT entrance. You met some boliao Karen.
5. I would have responded along the lines of “Auntie, you think you very chio meh? Who want take picture of you?”
6. Its not unlawful to take pictures of a person face or overall body. However, the person may question you if it’s suspicious. But taking upskirt is unlawful and breaks the law.
7. Can. You can take pictures of the auntie also if you want. It’s a public space. The auntie is in the way of you and your camera as much as you are in the aunties way.
8. Not wrong. As per SMRT FAQ site, it’s also stated clearly. But some people, like the Cisco security may stop you. Just show them the SMRT FAQ site and see what they will do.
   Photography and filming of video within SMRT premises
   Q) Can I take photographs or videos within SMRT bus interchanges?
   Yes, if it is for personal use and all photographs and/or videos are taken at public access areas for non-commercial purposes. If you are using the photographs and/or videos for commercial or any other purposes such as academic projects, media productions or wedding photoshoots, please obtain our written consent before proceeding with your photography and/or filming.

Scared of taking MC? Any advice? I am currently following up with the urologist and dermatologist at a government hospital.

I have a few genuine medical conditions that require me to follow up. Understand that MC is our entitlement from the government and may affect our work performance.

But I have a colleague who is like a piece of shhh and likes to mark people who are taking MC and talk crap when people take too much MC.

Any advice?

Netizens’ comments

1. Tell him with high level of gross details why you need to take MC. Show illustrations/pictures. Hopefully next time he stops commenting.
2. Be a mature adult about it and just take the MC. Playing mind games with toxic people just feeds into the toxicity, do not lower yourself down to their level.
3. Important is to have a proper record. At the same time do complete your work as much as possible so that it is not seen as you are falling behind on your work when you are taking MC.
4. Trust me, when you learn to care less about what others think about what you do, your life will instantly become better.
   Assuming you have been professional, take the MC, get the medical rest and attention you need and DGAF about toxic colleagues.
5. Stop paying attention to your colleague. And if he happens to be your boss then maybe time to really take fake MC for job hunting.
6. Inform your boss and ignore your colleague. If you need see doctor you need see doctor. If worry take too much just make sure you clear your own work and nobody need do more work cause of your mcs.
7. If there is any lesson we should have learned from this pandemic is that people should take MC instead of coming in and infecting everybody else.
8. Just communicate with your manager and/or HR and give them a heads up that you have genuine medical condition and will take more MC than usual. Ignore your toxic colleague, he’s not going to be the one who determine if you get fired or punished.