I (M27) do not need to be at work. I can do everything from home on my laptop. Instead, I’m required to be here from 7am-7pm 4 days a week. I rather be at home, obviously, but I honestly don’t mind being here. The commute is my much needed alone time.
What bothers me is the constant “conversation rut” I feel like I’m in. I hear the same thing from the same people every single day and I cannot take it anymore.
Yes I’m drinking coffee. Yes I’m aware of the weather. Yes I saw that email. I don’t care about your house renovation, I don’t care what you had for dinner. The same jokes over and over again; these 40-60 year olds think they’re hilarious repeating the same things they said yesterday.
Somebody stood over my desk for 20 mins while I was eating a salad telling me about a bar he used to go to 30 years ago that sold pickled eggs. Why? I’m clearly not interested. You are not interesting.
I don’t microwave anything at work anymore. Any time that final beep goes off, the vultures at work feel the need to come hover and ask “what the wife made” and if “I plan on sharing.”
I try to be respectful but it’s exhausting.
Netizens’ comments
I hate it when people talk to me while I’m trying to eat. If we aren’t on a date or family, leave me alone while I eat.
I used to have coworkers do the same thing, so I started to talk back about the things I was interested in.
I had a coworker talk about painting his room for the entirety of our 1 hour lunch break, then when we went back to the office, he continued talking about painting his room beside my table as I was rushing to finish readying my presentation slides. It just feels like he’s talking to himself lol
A lot of people genuinly don’t remember that they’ve told a story a million times already. It’s weird…
Recently tendered and serving notice period, but current employer insists I provide the name of my future workplace.
Am I legally obligated to tell them?
EDIT: wouldn’t I still be vulnerable in the event my future employer decide to call them up for a background check on me?
Netizens’ comments
NO! Absolutely do not tell them! My ex-colleague(EC) and I both tendered our resignations from the same company with a tyrannical boss. I did not disclose to tyrant where I was going, but my EC did! The moment EC mentioned it, I swear, you can see from his eyes he was plotting something and EC knew they fucked up. Guess what? EC’s signed letter of offer got retracted because they received an “anonymous email” regarding their poor work performance and attitude with “very specific situations”. To make things worse? Tyrant texted EC on the day they were supposed to start their first day “Hope you’re enjoying your first day of work.” Always remember, your company is not your family, they are not your friends, they are only people you work for, your life does not revolve around them!
Tell them you’re going to None of Your Business Pte Ltd, located at Go F Yourselves Avenue 1.
I never ever tell anyone where is my next move. not even my closest colleagues. Cos some people are just nosy and some are worst, they can potentially wreck your move by spreading false rumours, especially if you are working in a small niche industry where people tend to know each other
Oh the Singapore work culture rears its ugly head again. Tell them straight up they should be ashamed of themselves for even asking such a question. I know I would, no kidding, because I know my rights!
My husband has been so hard lately that they hurt me really, really badly. When I say hard, I mean hard like as though its a bat or pole.
He is also curved upwards and he only wants to do it from the back, but it is not doable as I’ve been losing a lot of weight recently.
Is it normal to gain length while older? I think he might just be really hard now with age. It feels bigger and more painful.
He has hip problems so a lot of positions are out of the question. but he always wants to take control and pound too hard from behind after a while.
I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he doesn’t understand how I’m explaining this to him. Maybe y’all have some better positions or advice for me to explain it a different way.
I don’t want to tell him to stop pounding because I do love it! It’s almost the only thing that gets me to come. I don’t mind a little pain. I just want to feel less stretched in a negative way.
Edit: my husband is very athletic and in shape. I was heavier. He is 35 and I’m 28F.
Netizens’ comments
Pardon the pun but sounds like a rock going to a hard place. His needs are not above yours, and yours are not above his. If it’s painful you don’t need to accommodate it. Work on positions that work for both of you.
You need to put your foot down. Stop letting him hurt you. If he’s not listening, stop the session altogether. Stop doing positions that are painful. Stop letting him pound you.
It is not normal to gain length while getting older, though if he’s dropped some weight lately that might add a bit of length. It sounds to me that maybe he’s on ED medications.
Is my boyfriend (31m) trying to brainwash me (28f)?
My bf and I share a google account. He left 2 or 3 weeks ago, as we are taking space and time, but he has his own computer that he took with him.
When googling something, some brainwashing google searches came up, the first one was “how to brainwash someone”
Idk why I had a weird feeling seeing that. So I checked the history to see when this was searched. I am regularly typing into google “how to…..” lol and I’ve never seen this search come up before.
Turns out my boyfriend has been searching how to brain wash, and cult stuff for a few days. The most recent was “does time brainwash” or something like that, which he googled the same night he told me we shouldn’t talk for a few days and that he just needs space because he’s upset.
Should I be alarmed about this? Or am I waaaay reading into things here?
Seems like too much of a coincidence to not be related right? Or am I paranoid?
Netizens’ comments
Oh my, I love true crime documentaries on Netflix, and when something intriguing comes up, I often just start to google it and then fall down the Google/YouTube rabbit hole. I am just interested in how stuff works. If you feel unsafe, though, listen to your gut.
You are 28 years old, taking a break for 2-3 weeks due to his suggestion. Brainwashing search could or could not be a huge red flag. BUT why are you waiting around for someone to decide if they want you or dont? That is the bigger issue here.
You’d be surprised at the number of ridiculous things us guys google about, maybe there isn’t a cause for concern, but be careful though.
No idea what kind of guy your BF is. But sometimes i google outrageous stuff because some kind of video i saw on youtube made me curious. If my SO would judge me based on that i would think she is crazy.
I (M23) met this girl(F22) almost year ago while I was working and we immediately started a physical relationship. We were both dating other people at the time.
About 4 months later, she told me she was pregnant (it was confirmed that the baby was mine). She was very understanding and levelheaded during this time. I figured we would make a great team to raise a child together.
Shortly afterwards, she suffered from a miscarriage and we spent some time apart.
A few months ago, we rekindled things. Everything was going great and we were spending every weekend together.
A little over a month ago, She got drunk and started sending me several messages about how much of an a-hole i am and how I wasn’t there for her at the hospital during the miscarriage.
I blocked her and decided to move on. Weeks went by and she started reaching out to me from different numbers and she apologized several times.
The last time she called I let the new girl (F20) i am seeing answer the phone and we got into a huge fight despite me explaining my relationship with my FWB ended before I met her.
I came home from work today and found a handwritten note with a positive pregnancy test in my mailbox. The letter started off with her apologizing and her giving me the option to be involved with pregnancy. She also mentioned that she’s willing to take a paternity test or any other test I request.
I’m not even sure where to start. I’m shocked that this happened again. We used birth control and condoms. Should I reach out now or wait it out? any advice is appreciated.
TLDR: Fwb is pregnant a second time after miscarrying our first baby. Should I reach out to her?
30 M Dumped by 35 F over Salary and Lifestyle Differences
I (30M) was broken up with by my (35F) now ex-gf over our salary/life differences.
My ex and I met and instantly had a great connection. We have several common interests and grew a love for each other very quickly. We bonded over past relationships and how they weren’t great for either of us and how comfortable we felt with each other. She is a successful real estate agent.
We dated for 4 months without a single hiccup in our relationship until I was told that my workplace will be closing at the end of the year.
I have decided to take this unique opportunity to spin it into a positive and go back to school and get a second degree. This was something we both discussed and talked about at great lengths together. It wasn’t until this did she start to hint at the differences of our salaries being a concern of hers. I should note that other aspects of our futures we shared similar views on such as marriage and kids and living together.
When we broke up, she said that she didn’t think she could look past her needing to be the main earner in a relationship or someone that could share in the lifestyle she has created for herself (ie taking trips on a whim, & overall not worrying about expenses).
This is still fresh for me and just looking for honest and unfiltered thoughts to help me process and move on.
EDITS: Didn’t think this would get as much traction as it did, but want to answer some things that have come up and hopefully add some clarity to some of the incorrect assumptions/statements made.
There was never a time where she would have been financially helping me with the degree nor would I be going into significant debt to do so. We have separate living arraignments and I already have set up part-time work that would be done in-conjunction with the program to continue supporting myself through this process.
The degree would only take 16 months to complete. It also is something that I will not be paying for. I have received funding and tuition assistance, so I am not accruing any debt.
Boyfriend (M/32) keeps saving videos of busty girls with on Instagram, TikTok etc. It makes me (F/29) feel really insecure because they look nothing like me.
My boyfriend doesn’t like or message other girls, but he saves their videos. (I know because he’s given me all of his passwords and doesn’t mind me checking once in a while)
I watch adult videos online too and don’t mind him watching it either, but something about him saving other girls videos rubs me the wrong way.
I quite big chested myself (cup D) but all of those girls have much, much bigger busts than me, probably like four times bigger.. The fact that they are so much bigger than me makes me feel like he’s not satisfied with what I have.
Personally, I’m not interested in looking at any other men, I even watch mostly women videos. My boyfriend isn’t even my ideal body type, but I don’t want to look at anyone else because I love him the way he is.
When I asked him about it he said that to him there was no difference between Instagram shorts and adult videos and that men just watch it for fun sometimes with no deeper meaning.
He said that he loves my chest the way they are, but every time he says that I can’t believe him. If that was the case, why wouldn’t he then watch videos with women who have my size of bust? It makes me feel really insecure.
When I asked him if he’d like it if I got implants (I wouldn’t actually get them, I just asked out of curiosity) he said he’d hate that and that he’d much prefer smaller natural to big fake ones, and that the women in those videos look cheap to him, and that he wouldn’t want to actually ever date a girl like that.
I just feel like his words don’t match his actions.
Considering how often he looks at those videos I feel like I’d have competition if he were to ever meet a girl like that in real life because she’s more his type. The whole thing just makes me sad.
Should I (F27) be concerned that my husband (M33) is using me for my money? My husband is the loveliest human and I love him so much.
However prior to us getting married he was paying at least half the dates and always trying to pay even more.
He had also held a steady job for the last 10 years where he is making about $80,000 a year.
I make $470,000 annually. So there is a big pay gap between us which is why I’m happy helping out with his share of the bills and offer to do so regularly.
After all I’m not a materialistic person and would rather he was happy and financially comfortable.
However it is extremely important for me that my kindness doesn’t get misused.
We got married a month ago (after just over a year relationship living together) and he just decided that a sports injury he got three months ago was hurting his leg so much that he needs to leave work.
He is yet to see a doctor about this injury to see if he actually needs surgery. (If it was something serious of course I don’t mind him quitting at all but we just don’t know yet).
I think what is really increasing this fear is the fact that we can’t have get intimate in bed, he is too big and I’m way too small but im getting medically treated for it.
He is my best friend and I’m so happy around him and he claims that despite being able to have any woman, this is the most fulfilled he has ever been because for once he has a best friend that he truly does love.
I don’t for a second doubt his love for me, what I do doubt is his capability to marry a girl that won’t sleep with him and then immediately after the marriage needing to quit his job.
A woman in Singapore, 47-year-old Yun Xuejiao, took her maid to the hospital after the latter complained of a stomach ache, and the maid ended up giving birth to a baby girl the next day, according to Lianhe Zaobao.
Yun said that her 37-year-old Indonesian maid, Renny, started working for her on 31 October 2022.
Before that, the maid arrived in Signaproe in June 2022 and worked for another family for 3 months before spending a month unemployed at the maid agency before Yun hired her.
Yun said that she received a letter from the Ministry of Manpower in December last year, asking her to send Renny for routine medical screening for infectious diseases and pregnancy every half a year.
Because she was busy, she asked her maid to go to the clinic by herself on 19 December, and the results showed that everything was normal and her maid could continue working for her.
5 months later on 22 March earlier this year, the maid complained of a stomach ache and was feeling unwell, so Yun gave Renny some medicated oil and told her to rest but her condition didn’t get any better.
Yun then called for an ambulance and sent Renny to the hospital, and the next day, Renny called her and said that she had just given birth to a baby girl.
The employer was shocked because she and her family didn’t know that the maid was pregnant, saying that she was chubby and always wore loose clothes and that she didn’t look pregnant.
Yun added that she believes the maid had hidden her pregnancy from her family from the start, and that there was no way she didn’t know she was pregnant because she had given birth before back in Indonesia.
After Renny was discharged, she was turned away by the maid agency and spent the night at Yun’s home.
The employer questioned Renny, who admitted that she missed her period and apologised, saying that her baby belonged to her husband in Indonesia, which confirmed Yun’s suspicions that Renny had hidden her pregnancy and tampered with the medical screening results.
The doctor at the clinic who administered the medical screening for the maid said that they did a urine test on her and the results apparently didn’t show that she was pregnant. They are unclear how the maid could have given birth just 3 months later.
Renny was eventually sent to the Indonesian embassy by the maid agency, and she then flew back to Indonesia with her baby on 8 April.
Yun said that she had forked out more than $2,000 in medical expenses for her maid and wants the maid agency to bear the costs.
MOM added that they are aware of the incident and are investigating.
A message to all the ladies out there – always lookout for yourself, even the closest person in your life could get you hurt.
2 years ago, I got to know my now ex-girlfriend, *name redacted*, from a nightclub. She was very caring and attentive with her sweet gestures, bringing me out for supper and surprising me below my house. Even though I was unsure about this as I have never dated a girl, I took a leap of faith and accepted her into my life. Not long after, we got into a relationship, and she moved in with me.
With many regrets, this decision was the biggest mistake that caused me to lose everything in life…
She started to physically assault me when she drinks too much, leaving my body covered with bruises from her beating. She would always apologise to me when she sober up the following day and promised me that this would never happen again. I chose to forgive her because I loved her – And that was a huge mistake. Our relationship worsened as she got more and more abusive day by day, with beatings happening more frequently. Despite that, I chose to stay as I did not want to give up on this love we had.
She then told me she was involved in a lawsuit, charged with some cheating offence and needed money to pay off the fine. Otherwise, she would be jailed. I saw how worried and stressed she was so I decided to lend her the money for the court settlement. The initial sum was $13,000.
Before we moved in together, we agreed on having the rental split equally between the both of us. But then she told me her bank account was seized due to the lawsuit. Therefore she is unable to pay her half. She asked me to cover her share first and wait for her to return the money once her account gets unfrozen – Once again, that did not happen.
She promised to return all the money she borrowed in instalments. She even said she will write an IOU as proof. Till today, I did not receive a single cent nor did I see that IOU she promised. Whenever I try to ask for the instalment and IOU, she would threaten me. I did not dare to engage further as I am afraid she would start hitting me or throwing things at me.
I was committed to this relationship and I really trusted her a lot. When her closest friend *name redacted* needed help for his court settlement, I lent him a lump sum of $24,000 too. I was worried about not getting my money back, but I took out the money anyway because she promised me several times, and I trusted her words that her closest friend would not go back on his words. It has been a year plus, I only received $4,200 repayment from the friend and he went uncontactable ever since then.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I came to realise that my cash savings of $5,000 went missing at home. When I questioned her about it, she became defensive and she started to threaten me, again. She started hitting me and shouting at me. I ran out of my house with her dragging me on the floor. I screamed for help and the beating only stopped when my neighbour came out upon hearing my voice.
That’s when I realised I need to get out of this relationship.
I started to distance myself from her. I decided to look into things about her, and everything related to her. I found out that everything she told me was a lie. All the lies she came up with was an act to get money out of me. Throughout the entire relationship, she has been lying about her childhood, friends, family background, just so she can victimise herself and borrow money from me.
She would often make me pay for her purchases and take my money for her forex investments.She even linked my phone to hers so she could see all my messages and track my location under the false pretences that she could surprise me from work just so she could sneak around with other girls behind my back.
This whole ordeal has caused me so much anxiety. I can’t sleep at night. And when I do, I get woken up from nightmares. I went for several consultations, talk therapies, psychiatric treatments, but it still left a scar in me that I couldn’t heal. She was right about her threats to destroy me. Because I am destroyed. To find out the person you love and trust is a work of fiction. To realise everything you believed in was all lies. I hope that all the girls out there learn to protect themselves, and will never be in the same situation like me ever. Because I know how much it hurts. I know how it feels like to lose everything you have, and the strength to continue with life.
