Educated and unemployed feel bad for my kids

Some change in family situation and a toxic work environment made me quit my well paying job just before covid. ive been unemployed till now.

My kids are in IHL. They feel bad asking me for money but no choice they need money.

I sense them trying their best to stretch their pocket money i feel bad for them. But i lack the will or desire to work because i feel so down for all the crap in the past and also my age almost 50.

I need to find the strength to hustle again because i cant bear seeing my children struggle. Sometimes i think in lieu of my mental struggles, God should just call me home now.

Netizens’ comments

1. Please get some help, go to polyclinic and get a referral for subsidised therapy at IMH. There’s no shame in getting help for your mental health. You need to stay strong for your kids. You know you are spiralling and that’s a start. Please do something about it and wishing u all the best.
2. Hi, don’t give up hope. I’m in a pretty similar situation as well (nearing 50, doesn’t enjoy the work that I’m doing etc) but not giving up hope becos of my kids. Hang in there…. like what most of the ppl have suggested, start off with some part time work to pick up the momentum then move to contract or permanent when you’re ready, try out something new perhaps if you’re sick of your old job? stay strong for the people you love and the people who love you
3. So , first you resigned n said you feel bad for your kids and then you contemplated leaving this earth and then your kids will be parent-less . If you really spare a thought for your kids then reflect upon what kind of support are you providing them , do you think backup money is enough? So how will they feel being young , dependent and without a parent’s presence ? Come on lah
   Everyone has to take up their load and carry it in life and nobody gets to escape and find an easy way out ( at least you think someone ELSE has it easier but they don’t )
   Step up for your kids and do better !
   Start by charting an exercise routine everyday start 10 mins
   Now you have a lot of time right ? Then at least use this opportunity to get your health better ( yes so we won’t be a health burden to our children)
   Once you exercise and the happy hormone level rises meantime get some side hustle and focus on getting the new role . Apply 100x .
   All the best ( and pls lahh hcw v busy don’t add to the hospital queue tks lol ) if really need just get a mental health rv at GP 2.

Are locals Singaporeans just so hard to befriend? Or are foreigners just so friendly and easy to befriend?

I am a local Singaporean and have worked in NUS for almost a year, and several companies previously. So far the wonderful friends that I had made naturally through face to face conversations are all foreigners from all over the world..

China, Thai, Indian, Indonesian, Egyptian, Spanish, Malaysian, Korean, Fillipino, Sri Lankan.. you name it all.

Been in greatly multicultural workplace environments especially over here in NUS. We still keep in contact even after leaving our previous jobs.

Very very few Singaporeans, and thats about it.

On the other hand, I have had 1 of the worst relationships ever when I tried to befriend the local Singaporeans at NUS and my past workplaces, have never gotten well.

They turned out to be all cliquish, exclusive, judgemental gossipers and cut-throat style and one of the most selfish unhelpful people, from what I had encountered.

Is there just something wrong with me or is it just a horrible Singaporean culture thing?

Netizens’ comments

1. Huh? Singaporeans mostly make Singaporean friends what. I think you’re the outlier. If you’re local Singaporean, yet cannot make Singaporean friends, it’s very weird.
2. In my opinion, there are several factors in play here. I can name 3.
   1 being that the fact that they are in a foreign country generally makes them less likely to be introverted (introverted people are less likely to move overseas, especially into a crowded city) and hence more willing to engage and make new friends.
   The 2nd factor is that most locals will already have a good network of friends compared to to the foreigners and are likely less to be actively looking for new friends.
   As for 3, people living in a highly competitive city are more apprehensive of or overloaded with friends requests.
   Hence, they are more prone to rejecting new friend requests. Not always true, but a high propensity for these to happen.
3. To be honest and neutral stand point. I understand you wish to make friends, perhaps making friends with the local. But but… There are many different types of people ranging from good to toxic. I am a Singaporean too, I face all kinds but I told myself, to be good and respectful, and not axx to others no matter who they are.
   Two things we can reflect upon
   1) if we hope to meet people we want, then we will be the type of people who we desire.
   2) perhaps we clean our own lenses (perception of others) first. No matter what country they are from or where we are, we have the same blood colour. Still human.
   Maybe lastly… If we can make friends with other countries, can’t make one locally… That is some issue for sure. Just like can we say a person respectful towards elderly but rude to his own parents?

A netizen recently posted online reminiscing the times where other there were many available PHV options other than Grab.

This was after the netizen faced a $40 fare from east to west in Grab and lamented that in the past (early 2010s), the fare from east to west was below $20.

It seems like the netizen is talking about the era where private hire vehicles first started and companies like Grab and Uber were still the main forces in the market.

Here is what the netizen posted

I havent’s take Grab in a long time and today, i witnessed what everyone’s been complaining about. i was travelling from East to West – fare was almost $40. that’s secondary.. the nearest driver was 10 mins away. and then he couldn’t find where my drop off was. he cancelled (i tried to call a few times/ texted him if he needs help, can call me. but no response) and then i rebooked and nearest one was 10 mins again. thinking that if i should go home and wait or just continue waiting at the drop off. decided to just stay at the dropoff as i dont wanna incur the 3 mins waiting fee. by the time i got into my 2nd Grab, i had waited for more than half an hour at the drop off

as i was waiting for all these to happen, i reminisced the early 2010s when we had Grab, Uber and Gojek. they were always very fast and cheap as well. i remember also travelling from east to west and it was below $20. sigh. and back then when the vouchers were non-stop coming our way. i know they were operating at a loss back then and prolly not viable.. but still.. sigh”

Replies and comments from netizens

• COE and petrol are much higher now. The Grab drivers aren’t earning much more despite the increase in price.
• When was the last time you guys remember keying a Grab promo code that actually meaningful discounts? All we have now is 20% off Grab rides capped at $3 which we have to redeem using our own points. IMO it’s a scam to even call it 20%, just call it $3 off la. Say until so nice.
• No more drivers since the margins are going to the ride hailing app car rentals and oil and gas companies. Higher fare is needed to retain them and attract those Grab drivers who left to come back

Image source: Unsplash, Google Maps

I’m currently dating a teacher for about 2 years, who is 3 years into the job (after PGDE). While we really love each other and are serious about one another, I’m a bit uncertain about our future together due to her workload and commitment to work.

Here is a sample of her average day:

Wake up at 540am
Leave house at 630am
Reach school by 710am
Teach classes till 130-2pm
CCA/ remedials/ meetings/ misc things till 530pm, leave school
Dabao, Reach home at 630pm
Eat dinner and chill to 8pm
Marking from 8 to 1130pm
Shower, etc, till 1230pm
Catch up on emails till 1am then sleep

So based on that, she works maybe 14-15 hours every weekday with just 4.5hrs of sleep and a good day every weekend just to catch up on work that couldn’t be completed and lesson plans. Based on her salary, it’s just ridiculous how much she has to work for that – Retail and F&B workers are better paid hourly than her.

I’ve been getting into fights with her and telling her that her lifestyle and is unsustainable as it’ll lead to big burnouts and her health will suffer. On the flip end, she says that I’m not a teacher and I’d never understand her line of work.

Also, I realised that a lot of her teacher friends (female), are single well into late 30s and 40s – which I guess its due to their teaching lifestyle. On the flip end, most women I know from my line of work (private) are married by their late 30s.

I sincerely hope MOE can do something to lighten teacher’s workloads. While that is wishful thinking, I’m wondering if I could get any advice on how to move forward…or move on.

Frankly I although I love her a lot, she had made it clear that her priority is to be a good teacher. So at the back of my mind, there is always this feeling that she loves teaching more than me.

Also, although we both agreed on having children, based on her workload, I don’t see how we would be able to manage as I’m afraid she’ll leave majority of the child rearing to me while she continues her passion. My job is way less tiring than hers and honestly I’m earning more than double of her – and in order for me to climb more, I need her to do her fair share of child rearing. I’ve mentioned to her that if we got married, I’d like for her to take a step back from her overloaded schedule and this was utterly shot down and more quarrels ensured.

So now I’m at a crossroads – should I push on and try to make things work, or try to move on to find someone who able to be more family oriented?

–

A netizen posted a rant about an unspecified “clothing” company, revealing that they increased their employees’ salaries by 20-30% in order to retain them.

They then passed on that salary increase to their customers by increasing the prices of their products as well, by about 20-30%.

Here is what the netizen said

Question, is it fair to increase employees’ salary by 20-30% to retain them and pass of that increase to consumers by raising prices of clothing by the same % once you have established yourself as the dominant clothing brand in Singapore?

I’m pretty sure your profits are so high that you can afford to raise prices less – which is what attracted people to buy from you in the first place.

Something that used to cost $20 before June now suddenly has the prices raised to $30, and $30 to $40, etc.

Guess I’ll be buying less from you in the future to save the environment more, or taking my business elsewhere.

Netizens’ comments

• flipping the question back to you: would you be happy if your employer chose to reduce/ freeze your pay increment just so they could keep their products “affordable”?
• Is it fair to reduce the price by 20-30% to retain customers and pass the reduction to employees by reducing their salaries by the same %?
• Don’t buy if you not happy lah. How do u judge whether it’s fair or not? Maybe they underpaid their staff for the longest time so it’s fair to raise their salary to market rate now?

So here is my experience today at my local Rolex AD.….Now, I knew what I was getting into but this just makes you shake your head.

About a month ago I walked into a local Rolex AD and decided to “put my name on the list” for a Rolex Pepsi on an oyster bracelet. I was asked if I had purchase history there and as a matter of fact I did.

However, it was 24 years ago when I purchased my Rolex at the start of my law enforcement career. They told me that was too long ago so it wouldn’t be in the system. No big deal and I left.

Today I was going to be by the store and decided to go by and take my original receipt to see if they can add it to their notes in the system. The nice Rolex sales person that helped me out a month ago and again today said that she would pass the information (a copy of the receipt) to the manager.

Now here is the part that makes you shake head at the current times in which the watch world is in… the nice sales lady tells me “I don’t think that receipt is going to make much of a difference. You need to have like a 6 figure spending history for the Rolex watch that you want.” Again, I know exactly what I got into when I put my name on that “list” and I’m not in a real hurry for the watch, but it’s sad that someone who has the money to spend on this particular watch will probably never get it from this Rolex AD since I haven’t spent 6 figures to get it.

Some might say get it from the grey market, but this particular Rolex watch is still a little high compared to the retail price. Any other brand or model I would definitely consider the grey market instead of getting it from this Rolex AD.

Image source: Unsplash, Google Maps