What should I do when my friend owes me money and still blames me?

I was damn stupid to lend my friend almost 6 digit worth of money by bank loan even private loan, only for everything to be lost in a scam.

He told me cause of business failed all the money to settle his business debts. So I tried being understanding which he promise would return the money to me.

Really he don’t even bother pay me been 3years, I see his family going on trips to Korea etc. Which he using my credit card pay for it .

I posted he and his family recently on social media they’re fraudsters. He found out angry text threaten me said I’m a bitch , his family going to report police. He even text me give a chance to remove post. WTF… did he forget he the one owe me money didnt pay a single cents.

A lot of people say this money is confirm lost, he and his wife fraudsters. It’s not business failed actually their overspend. Because I don’t make noise, they keep taking advantage right?

The worse when i showed him all the transaction money he owed me. He say need check first correct anot. WTF… he said I’m one who screwed up friendship because of money

Here are what netizens think:

• If I were you I would report him to police for stealing your credit card and spending it. No need proof. The proof is his overspending. If I’m not getting my money back, I’d be happy to see him rot in jail for cheating and let his family lose face and brand him with a criminal record cos nobody wants to do business with a criminal.

• For 6 figures you can actually sue him if there is black and white. If he can’t pay, hire debt collectors to hamtam his family so that they Know that they cannot anyhow spend money.

• No good friend will lend money to let him overspend. That is just killing him slowly when he is lazy, gambling, cheating and overspending without knowing how hard it is to work and earn that amount of money.

• Never lend money to friends or even close relatives. If they need money, offer to pay the medical bills in person or write and IOU. But usually money lent to friends is money you don’t need and money you may not see again.

• Hes playing u out to escape the payments he owes u. He paiseh because the whole people in his life will see this and be wary of his antiques. Tell him to pay u pay in smaller amounts, u keep track of the amount n balance. But frankly la, by the way he act, can see the money cant be returned. Take it as a painful lesson n stop lending ppl ur money permenantly. And cut ur friendship with him n whoever that u know who is with his side for good.

Is career switch a stereotypical myth?

I have been a childcare teacher for 15 years. Reaching 40 this, i decided to quit the education sector and to try working in the corporate industry ~ deskjob perhaps. A less stressful job whereby i can balance my work family without any compromises. Not implying that Desk jobs aren’t stressful but comparing to a teaching job.. It’s a better option…

But despite being a preschool diploma graduate with O levels and a Higher Nitec in Business Studies, It is very difficult to land an admin or clerical job. I sent out numerous applications and it got rejected over and over. witha staple reply – that my work experiences as a childcare teacher doesn’t fit their job scopes. Some would plainly say I had been a teacher with zero experiences in administrations.

Initially, I would explain myself that my career doesn’t only mean I teach the children. There are many other roles I did. Report writing, presentations, invoices, etc. But they don’t seem to understand or accept the fact that we are equipped with skills that would cater to a clerical job.

There are many other teachers who have had quit their teaching jobs to start something more different. But we don’t get the opportunities for the careerswitch. There are many instances whereby we are encouraged for a mid career change.

The mindset of stereo typing a childcare is not something new. But it doesn’tget voiced out. There are many ex teachers in the same plight as me. who are left with no choice but to go back to teaching reluctantly.

Are our skill sets not good enough for an opportunity to go to another sector? Many job adverts state our skills mentioned in our resumes but just because we clock in some many years in the education Sector as an educator doesn’t deem fit for the position offered?

I really hope companies with positions opened would consider us as a suitable candidates too.

While we are on the topic of money and relationships let me rant about money and friendships

This happened a while back but pertains to the govt giving out the gst voucher. I stay in a HDB and these “friends” are staying in condo/landed. We were first all excited being able to get the voucher until they realised that one of the criteria to get the voucher was to be staying in a HDB and they went into an uproar stating that it was not fair as it was not their house, but their parents’ house.

At the moment, it felt wrong for me to even be getting the voucher. It felt wrong to be “poorer”. These same people were people who went on yearly holidays with their families to countries far away. Before I started university, the number of times I flew on a plane could be counted on one hand. If we are counting anything more than 4 hours, I don’t even need the hand to count lol. One of them could get sneakers once every quarter and I was there with my 4 year old superstars ._.

Don’t get me wrong, I was never poor. my family gave me the very best they could and I was never hungry, just never had as extensive opportunities as those “friends” and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous. I’m also not saying that the govt’s way of setting their criteria is foolproof, but I do think it is a decently accurate indicator, especially for some younger folks.

We were younger then, but looking back, I realised how tone-deaf they were and I won’t be surprised if they are still as tone-deaf. Privilege is very real and I am ashamed that they don’t recognise it and based on what we studied, frankly find it ironic. The amount given to us by the govt seems like an additional bonus, but to those really needy, it could be a month or two worth of groceries and utilities etc. Needless to say we aren’t really friends anymore.

The guy who earns less than 4k a month.

I don’t know you. But I’ve met men like you. I totally get why you made such sweeping statements about women. No one likes to be rejected. I can tell you one thing. Even men who make less than 4k a month can get women. But would you reject the women who want you? You probably won’t even give these kind of women a second look as you deem them as not good enough for you. It’s like you’re a 5/10, wanting an 8/10 and looking down at any woman who is 4 to 6.

Everyone wants the best for themselves but what do you have that the ‘best’ must accept you?

I’m guessing from your post, not only you do not have money, you also don’t have the looks, personality or intelligence to nab the type of women you’re after. So what does that leave you? Focus on what you can work on. Calling women gold diggers because you are rejected just shows you haven’t learnt much about women.

If a man have enough good points but don’t make enough money, some women will be willing to stay around and work together with you. Trust me, you wouldn’t want a woman who will be with you just because you can earn 20k a month. Just like all people who want to have a relationship, we want someone who is willing to be with us through thick and thin.

The only advantage you have is that men have almost no expiry date compared to women. You can be 40 and still date women from 20s to 40s while a woman of the same age have to settle for a smaller pool.

But above all, I still have faith that men like you would be able to find someone one day. She may not be your first choice, she may not be a perfect 10, but I can assure you, as long as you play your part as a decent person, lover, boyfriend or husband in this partnership and help each other blossom, she can become a perfect 10 in your eyes.

I know I will get flamed for this but I’m going to say it anyway. For those who say they can’t find a mate. Women are gold diggers, men only want young and pretty women etc.

Everytime you point a finger at someone, your own 3 fingers are pointing back at you.

For those who have ego and pride and use anger to hide their embarrassment for being rejected. Come on. You can choose people, then people cannot choose you? Love is not a charity event. Turn the tables around, would you give a person that you deem low quality a chance if you have absolutely no feelings for him/her?

If you have sufficient quality and assets, of course you will not blindly start a relationship with the first moving object that shows interest in you. Of course you would like to be with someone that you are equally attracted to. But do you attract that said person or you’re not as great as you think you are?

Its very easy to blame others when something goes wrong in your life. But you learn nothing if you walk away without self reflection.

I have friends and role models around me who have coupled up since school days and have got married. Some did better than others. Some lived simpler lives. I know I’m fortunate to have positive influences in my life so I have learnt a lot from them. There’s actually no secret formula to start a relationship but are you willing to face the truth about what you really are? Only when you truly know what you bring to the table then you can be realistic about what kind of a partner you can possibly find.

Why would you want to be with someone who wants out? Why would you want a shallow man or woman to be your special someone? You have to ask yourself why are you demanding love from someone who isn’t interested? If you think long and hard enough, it’s not about love but there’s a chance that you think you deserve this person like a trophy and sometimes people can see your intents better than you.