Nephew tio scammed by young Vietnamese lady and now I have some concern

I want to ask has anyone caught their partners chatting up or following those Vietnamese girls (mostly sleazy looking profiles showing them in actual photos of them clad minimally, like just a bra and a panty) on Tik Tok .. ?

We are an old local couple but recently I found all these sleazy Viet women sending connection requests to my partner’s account.. and I know men will mostly gladly accept them, which is what worries me the most.

I remember having a younger married nephew gotten scammed by a young Vietnamese woman, and lost almost 100K in savings. The wife also left him cause he spent time overnight with the Vietnamese woman, whom he knew also slept with several other men aside from him (in the same period when they were together..)

So, back to my question… Should I remind my partner to be more careful on Tik Tok? To not make the same mistake as my nephew? (My nephew life was totally messed up by this Viet lady, so pitiful as he now has to constantly borrow money from me to survive tough time after the lady fled back to Vietnam.. haiz, my nephew still quite young in his 20s only also tio scammed, which I really don’t understand).

So now I am worried about those women on Tik Tok. Is there any filter I can apply to keep my partner from those minimally clad Vietnamese women accounts on Tik Tok?

If anything happen, how can old couple like us handle it…? I feel very worried but my partner doesn’t seem to take any precautions and still happily accept their friend or follower requests.

I am seriously so worried……Can someone please help? Can Tik Tok come up with some filter options? Else I guess will have to delete my partner Tik Tok’s account and then talk to him about the potential problems which he might not be aware of..

Need good advice. Don’t want my partner to be scammed.

Here are what netizens think:

• Ask your partner find better hobbies to fill up his free time so he won’t spend his time scrolling social media and risk getting scammed. Otherwise you just “ah accept friend request la, talk to them la, kena scam already don’t ask me for money, I got no money to give you.”

• It’s useless doing anything about man and his ego. Young man would see other people got scammed and say I younger and more intelligent, will not get scam. Old man will say they old and wise enough to not get scam. They could be true. But when blood retreat from their head and rushes to the other head, they are lost.

• Many even fall for the WhatsApp messages “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a long time since you last left Hongkong” simply because the texter used a Dua Dua Liap catfishing profile pict. One ‘victim’ said he thought he really knew her. BS. He only thought he may have a chance to meet her and touch the Dua Dua liap.

Career advise

Is it advisable to stay if I have a counteroffer after submitting my resignation?

Background of the story is that I really like what I was doing for the past 1 year in my company.

However, most of my colleagues started leaving because of the lack of directions & last minute changes from my boss. Since then, I had to cover part of their roles & eventually it becomes “my responsibility” and my boss has the expectation on me to do them well.

Since I don’t have much experience and guidance, I felt very pressured but I still took it as an learning opportunity. My boss did ask me to set up weekly meetings with him to go through things but to be honest, I felt like a lot of things that he said is easier said than done, especially since we don’t have a full team so eventually I stopped going to him.

To add on, on days when my boss is not in a good mood, he will tell me off for not doing this, or that I need to think before doing that regarding things that shouldn’t even be handled by me. This has been going on for 5 months and I just felt so unappreciated so I eventually tendered. After that, my boss spoke to me and said he understand that I’m going through a lot and sometimes the things he said might not be nice but it’s targeted towards the matter, not personal.

He said that he want to give me a pay increase because “I deserve it” which I suppose is a counter offer. He also said that he found a new hire and the person will join in 3 months if she confirm the offer and I can go back to doing what I enjoyed for the past 1 year.

Just to mention, my role is super crucial in this circumstance because I’m the only one who know the processes and without me he will not be able to run the projects since it also takes time for the new person to takeover.

Lots of consideration whether I should accept the counter offer (not sure how much it would be yet) because

1. If the person did not accept the offer, it means I have to continue doing whatever I was doing and my boss will probably have more expectations on me since I’m getting a higher pay now.

2. There’s still no direction in the company (but this might change if a new team join)

3. Lots of new projects coming up this year and lots of changes going on. If I were to stay, I’ll have to manage all these myself until the new headcount join which will take about maybe 6 months?

4. No career progression for my role here.

5. The counter offer will probably be higher than what I deserve for my current experience.

6. Recession now + my role is quite niche so it will not be easy to find something I like.

My notice period is 2 months. Appreciate if I can have any advise whether I should continue staying or just leave !

posted this because I am looking for advice or opinions. I am in my early 20s, I am probably still considered young at this age? However my life has been absolutely boring. My life has revolved around work and studies. Any little free time I have is used to get additional sleep. Gradually I feel that I have became a absolutely boring person.

I actually can’t remember how did I pass my time when I had a lot of free time, games don’t really interests me anymore. I do enjoy hanging out with people alot and I try to communicate with others frequently. But more often than not, I have always been shot down or stood up when I asked for a meet up. I don’t think my conversation skills are an issue as I have been told that I was pretty easy to talk to and I have no issues spending hours chatting with people.

In all honesty, I have no clue what people do when they hang out either. It’s just hang out, chit chat, shopping/ window shopping for me. I don’t like the idea of clubbing as it’s a waste of money and the environment just doesn’t attracts me.

TLDR: What do people do in their free time and what do they do to have fun?

Here are what netizens think:

• I think the issue is not so much about hobbies but about work and studies taking over your life. If you’re knackered all the time then of course you have no time or energy for hobbies. I think being busy is fine but there has got to be an off ramp to a sustainable lifestyle. Perhaps graduate or you eventually change your job. That needs to be planned or you’ll be in this hole forever and get burnout. Once you have more time, then join hobby clubs and all that good stuff. I’m sure other pundits have good views.

• When i was in the earlier 20s, i played musical instruments, ride a bike islandwide, learn to cook and new friends revolves around your hobbies/interests.

• Buy a ticket and fly out. Spend 6 months staying out of your comfort zone and discover who you are

• You can: Volunteer, it’s a very fulfilling activity but to each his own. Find a cause that speaks to you. Take up a new sport and join a club. Join hobby groups. Many on fb. Search locally. Some organise meetings. Many other things you can do with friends of common interests, you can also meet new friends. Only factor is would you be interested to engage in such activities.

 It all started as a simple conversation between me and my friend.

We were discussing how we could make some extra money and decided to look into investing in some businesses. After we spent some time researching, we stumbled upon a pub in our town that was for sale. We had both been there many times before, and I thought it was a great opportunity for us to invest in.

We decided to split the costs and buy the pub. I was going to be the owner, but my friend was going to be the investor. I was going to handle all the day-to-day operations while my friend was going to provide the capital.

I was also going to be responsible for bringing in customers and running the pub.

The deal was that my friend would give me the money to buy the pub and I would pay him back when the pub started making a profit. I figured I could make a decent amount of money if I could turn the pub around and make it profitable.

However, I wanted to make sure that I could still make some money even if the pub didn’t turn out to be a success. So, I came up with a plan. I would sell my friend shares in the pub at a higher price than I bought them. That way, if the pub was a success, he would make a return on his investment. And if the pub didn’t turn a profit, I would still make money from the sale of the shares.

So, I sold my friend’s shares in the pub at a 300% markup. This meant that he would have to pay me three times what I paid for the shares. I figured that this was a fair deal because he was taking a risk by investing in a business that might not make any money.

At first, my friend was a bit sceptical about the deal. He didn’t want to be taken advantage of, and he wanted to make sure that he was getting a fair deal. After I explained the concept of markups and how it worked, he was more comfortable with the idea.

In the end, my friend decided to invest in the pub. The pub was a success and my friend made a good return on his investment. I was also able to make some money from the sale of the shares.

Scams out there

But I know there are some people out there that drag people into this kind of “pub investment” which ends up with the business dying and letting the shareholder’s money disappear into the air.

Imagine I would do the same, Already selling my shares for 300% means I paid nothing to invest in the pub. No matter if the pub dies or survives I still profit.

I can’t believe what my friend said to me the other day. He was talking about how he wanted to work hard to repay his parents for all they’ve done for him, but he was also drinking heavily and hanging out with the wrong crowd.

I was really worried about him, but I knew I had to stay firm and help him out of the trouble he was getting himself into.

My friend had always been a bit of a wild child, but lately, his drinking had gotten out of control. He was staying out late, drinking until he couldn’t support himself, and spending time with people who were just as irresponsible as he was.

I was really worried about him and I could see that he was headed down a dangerous path.

I tried to talk to him about it, but he just brushed me off.

He said that he was fine and that he was just having a good time. I knew he was in denial, but I didn’t want to push him too hard. I knew that if I did, he would just push back and it would just make things worse.

So, I decided to take a different approach. I started to talk to him about his parents and how much they had done for him. I reminded him that they had sacrificed so much for him and that he owed them more than just a few nights out drinking. I could see that this struck a chord with him and it made him think about his actions.

He started to open up to me about his drinking and his lifestyle. He admitted that he had been going a bit too far lately and that he was starting to regret it. He said that he wanted to work hard to repay his parents for all they had done for him and make them proud. He said he wanted to make something of himself and do something with his life.

I was really proud of him for speaking up and being honest with himself. I encouraged him to take the steps he needed to make a change. I suggested he find a job, start saving some money, and stay away from people who were bad influences. I also suggested that he get some help if he needed it.

Too good to be true

There are some people in this world who are “nothin but talk”. That’s how my friend is. No matter who say it, be it me my friends or family he will appear to agree but turn on his words moments later.

Even my own mom told me to stay away from him as he is leading down to a self-destructive path.

I’ll never forget the day my friend begged his father for a Rolex to look more professional.

He had recently graduated and he was on the job hunt, and wanted to make a good impression on potential employers. I could understand his logic—a nice watch could make him seem more reliable, mature, and successful—but I knew it wouldn’t make a difference in the end.

My friend had grown up in a relatively wealthy family, so his dad had plenty of money to spare.

He had always been spoiled, so when he asked his dad for a Rolex, his dad didn’t hesitate to make the purchase. I was skeptical, but I didn’t want to rain on my friend’s parade, so I kept my doubts to myself.

A few weeks later, my friend was still without a job. He had been to dozens of interviews but was never offered a position. He was beginning to get discouraged and was convinced it was because he didn’t look professional enough.

He was determined to buy a Rolex, so he went back to his dad and asked for more money. His dad was obviously spoiled him and buy it for him straight away.

My friend was still convinced that Rolex was the key to success. He went out and purchased the watch and wore it proudly to every interview. Unfortunately, he still wasn’t getting any job offers. He was increasingly frustrated, and I could tell he was blaming the Rolex for his lack of success.

It was then that I decided to speak up. I reminded him that a Rolex or any other Seiko watch doesn’t matter—it’s what you do that counts. People will judge you based on your skills, qualifications, and character, not the watch on your wrist.

I also reminded him that a flashy watch is no substitute for hard work and dedication.

Denial

He still believes that packaging is what counts, after failing to get a job he went to start a retail business but it closed down in less than a year.

But it’s ok, papa money can burn

I had always been a bit of a picky person when it came to dating. I had a list of qualities that I wanted in a potential partner and I was determined to find someone who not only fit my criteria, but also made me happy.

One of my criteria was height.

I had never been particularly tall myself and had always found myself attracted to taller men. So when I met a colleague at work who was a good 15cm taller than me, I felt a spark of attraction.

We began flirting and I started to think that maybe this could be something more. But then I noticed something that put a stop to my optimism: he was shorter than my height requirement.

At first, I thought I could look past it. He was obviously attractive and had a great personality. But my height requirement was firm and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I would be settling if I gave him a chance. So I decided to reject him before things got too serious.

I was disappointed, but I figured it was the right thing to do. I didn’t want to get too attached and then have to break his heart if it didn’t work out. Little did I know, this decision would come back to haunt me.

A few months later, I met a guy who ticked all of my boxes. He was tall, attractive, and had a great personality. I was sure that this was it and I was finally going to meet my match.

But then he said something that made my heart sink. He told me he wasn’t interested because I was “too flat-chested.”

I was devastated. After all, I had rejected the shorter guy because I thought he wouldn’t match my criteria, and here I was getting rejected for something that I couldn’t control.

It was a harsh lesson to learn. I had been so caught up in my own criteria that I hadn’t stopped to think that someone else might have their own. I had judged him solely on his height and now someone had judged me for something I couldn’t control.

It was a harsh reminder that we can’t always control who we’re attracted to, and that trying to fit into someone else’s ideal can be a fruitless endeavor.

In the end, I learned to be more open-minded when it comes to dating. I stopped focusing so much on physical traits and instead looked for qualities in a person that would make them a good partner. I also stopped trying to impose my own criteria on others and instead tried to focus on getting to know them and seeing if there was a connection.

It’s been a few years since that experience, and I’ve been much happier with my dating life since. I’ve had relationships with people of all different heights, and I’ve learned to appreciate the beauty in everyone.

I am not proud of who I used to be or the decisions I have made in the past, but I feel I owe it to the world to tell my story.

I am a typical guy from Singapore and I had the pleasure of meeting a kind, sweet, and beautiful Taiwanese xmm in my travels to Taiwan some time before the pandemic.

She was still schooling, studying in Uni when I met her.

We hit if off and sort of became a ‘couple’

We hit it off right away and I was smitten by her, you know the way these Taiwanese xmm speaks and acts around you, to me it is something that you will never find in Singapore.

We spent a few nights together in Taiwan, and she even came over to Singapore to find me a few months after I left Taiwan and we had a great time together.

I introduced her to some of my friends and even brought her back home to see my family.

One day, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. We were planning a future together and I was the happiest man alive. Little did I know, I was about to make a grave mistake and destroy her life.

Started to cheat on her repeatedly and she found out and went back to Taiwan

I started out by playing her out and cheating on her with other women. I was so caught up in my own desires that I didn’t think of the consequences of my actions. I was selfish and I didn’t care how she felt.

As a result, she started to become distant and depressed. She eventually left me and went back to Taiwan.

I forgot about her after she left until one of my friends who was visiting Taiwan some time after she went back looked for her.

She turned to working as a bar hostess for companionship and money

When the conversation changed to how I was doing, she shared with my friend that when she arrived, she was a broken woman.

She had lost all hope and had no idea what to do with her life. She had already quit school when she decided to come to Singapore to find me, and it was something that I did not know.

She was alone and had no friends or family to turn to.

Out of desperation, she turned to the only thing that could provide her with a sense of companionship and love: she became a bar hostess.

She has been entertaining men at bars, nightclubs, and other places of leisure. While doing this, she is paid by the bar owners and sometimes even showered with tips and gifts from patrons of these bars.

Often, times this can lead to more intimate encounters. I can only imagine what she went through during this time in her life.

I feel immense guilt and regret for what I have done to her. I destroyed her life and her dreams. I wish I could take it all back, but it’s too late.

All I can do now is apologise in my heart and hope that she will find happiness again.