I’m so tired being SAHM

I’m so tired of my life at the moment. It feels like cleaning never ends. I’m tired of waking up with a baby 2-5 times at night. I haven’t have time for myself for months. My husband complain that I have too much own time.

I’m tired that my husband doesn’t clean up after himself. He can’t even put his dirty clothes in the laundry.

I just got so angry and emptied his whole wardrobe on the floor and now I have to clean it up too before he comes home from work.

I just need to get this out of my system. My friends are tired for me complaining for stuff. I also have back problems at the moment.

Netizens’ comments

• Can relate. Sounds like you’re just exhausted and undervalued. Unfortunately so many see SAHM as a luxury because you’re “not working”. It’s a crock of 💩. If he doesn’t see that you need a well deserved break, I hope you have close friends or family who will step in and give that break for you. Even if it’s just to have a long bath and a drink without rushing! I have nearly 10yo twins, widowed parent now. But as babies, I needed interaction with other adults, ppl to hang with me or spend time with me. Coz ppl only see you as a mum and forget about you as an individual. Hang in there babe, not alone!
• Sounds like you’re a mom of 2 instead of a wife and mom. I’m really sorry that you’re dealing with this. Maybe one weekend, take some time for yourself and leave the baby at home with your husband. Let him clean up and take care of the baby while you enjoy some much needed YOU time!
• Quit cleaning up after him and quit being his maid. This man doesn’t give a damn about you. Give your back a rest. You can beak a leg and it will heal but a back will not. It could shut down your mobility and the ability to care for yourself. Focus on your exit plan, yourself, and your children.
• Can you go stay with family for a while? Sounds like he had a baby just to trap you because he’s not interested in being involved in his child’s life. He’s not interested as seeing you as a team.

Considering breaking up with boyfriend over his dog.

As the title says, am considering breaking up with my boyfriend over his dog.

Backstory: Three years into our relationship, he impulsively got a puppy. He lived by himself in a small apartment so he wanted a companion. I didn’t mind because I love dogs. Of course, the puppy stage is hard but my boyfriend was able to train the dog.

Current situation: Five years into the relationship, the dog is a 2 year old Jack Russell Terrier Mix, and I hate the dog. The dog is under stimulated because my boyfriend lives in a small apartment by himself with no space. Walking the dog is scary because it’s so reactive and will bite you HARD if you don’t do what it wants.

The dog constantly bites you hard and barks when you ignore it or don’t give it what it wants. I know the dog wants to go on walks but my boyfriend gets so tired after work. I try to walk the dog sometimes because I don’t mind but the last time I walked it, I started crying and needed my boyfriend to come get me because every time I moved the dog would bite me.

I love playing with dogs so I tried to play with it but once again that dog will bite you to the point you’re bleeding. Mind you, this dog bites with all its might. The dog’s nails are long too (this dog hates their nails getting cut to where it winces and moves and cries) so you’ll have scratches everywhere.

There is dog hair everywhere so it gets everywhere. I am a clean freak so seeing dirty paws, dog hair, and kibble on the floor makes it too much for me sometimes. I can’t wear the clothes I want because dog hair will get everywhere on me and the dog pulls on sleeves and the ends of pants like it’s a game of tug-o-war.

I don’t live with my boyfriend but I live in my own place with my own dog who’s a great dog. He has his issues but he keeps to himself, very nice, and doesn’t make a mess. This dog is a terror and I have never met a dog like this.

I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend over this but I can’t live with this dog and we already have plans of moving in together with that dog included. I need advice

(21M)(19F) Girlfriend of 3 years hit me in the head with a vase

On New Year’s Eve my significant other had way to much too drink. She could barely form coherent sentences. We had gotten back home to her parents house to spend the night and she was insisting on sleeping without any clothes on.

I kept trying to rationalize that her parents would not be accepting of that. I tried to put a shirt and multiple bras on her over the course of about half an hour.

Suddenly she got very angry with what I was doing and told me to leave. As I stood up she started punching me which I blocked. She hit me in the head finally and I pushed her on the ground to get her away from me.

Next thing I know I am hit in the back of the head with a vase. I haven’t spoken to her since.

I still have great feelings for her but am scared for what the future brings. Am I an idiot for wanting to get back with her?

I know the alcohol was the main contributor to her actions but a part of me is scared.

I need your advice my heart tells me to give her another chance if she agrees to quit drinking. My brain on the other hand is scared for what might happen if I do give her a chance.

I have women getting angry and disappointed at me because I don’t want to start a long-term relationship at 39.

Mind you, even dudes got angry at me for that.

I’m 39, I’m currently succesful on datings apps and dating in general. I’m fit, always had a lot of times for sports, and it shows now as I get matches, dates, have a healthy life and meet new people. I’m cool with that.

However, even after I told the women I sleep with (before we go to bed) that I’m not really looking to have a solid long-term relationship, it’s like I’ve somehow lied to them after the act and they sometimes leave angry that I don’t want to settle.

I get told – at times directly, others times less so, – that 39 is getting old too fool around. Even dudes told me that.

I wasn’t always successful like that. I wanted girlfriends but never had any, I got rejected straight for years without ever having a woman showing attraction towards me.

I had my first kiss at 35, held hands for the first time at 35 too. I lost my virginity at 36.

In my younger years while looking to become more successful in dating, I had several talks with women who stated they weren’t about to wait for a nice guy to ask them out, they were fine doing so with dudes they knew were assholes.

And I don’t mind, because I gladly would have done the same at their age. But I only got bitterness out of getting rejected so much. I was neither nice nor bad enough.

I missed out on all the experiences about love and intimacy, I’m twenty years late.

I want to make up for the time lost, I want to sleep with various people, experience what they like and dislike and how differently people tick in bed. I have no clue how to start a real, long-term relationship and feel like I’m too old to start now with such commitment anyway.

It feels like after a certain age, that sort of behavior is frowned upon. I wasn’t good enough for sex and love when younger while other people my age were learning and experiencing others, but now the same people can get angry at me because I’m doing just that, as if there’s a specific timeframe during which it’s acceptable, and the milestones should have been reached at the end of it.

It just feels weird.

Is it enough to just save and not invest?

Suppose I live a frugal life (which I am currently during so, e.g. eating only hawker/home cooked food, not spending money on unnecessary items etc.), would I be able to survive purely on savings and not investment?

Say if I currently earn +/- 4k a month and I’m a fresh graduate.

By survive I mean having the ability to take care of my parents, pay for future potential medical bills, potential BTO and starting a family etc.

The reasons for not wanting to invest is
1) its rather time consuming to learn and analyse everything,
2) may be too risky for me and
3) troublesome. I’m just worried I won’t be able to survive in this increasingly expensive world 🙂

Netizens’ comments

1. can consider fixed deposits, Singapore saving bonds etc. for low risk investments.
2. you can invest in yourself and earn higher paycheck 🙂
3. Better to have more savings in case of a rainy day. No one ever knows (touch wood) when a big misfortune happens to them. Disability, illness, family problems can be the end of even middle class people
4. If you’re OK with inflation eroding your savings lor.
5. BTO is expensive. Children is expensive. If nothing else invest in yourself at least to make sure your pay outpaces the cost of living.
6. No because:
   Despite being frugal, you still have financial goals (taking care of parents, BTO, starting a family etc) so you are going to need money.
   As mentioned by others, inflation is a very real thing that will erode your savings
   You shouldn’t assume you are able find work from now till 65 at a wage that can sustain even the frugal life you are planning for. So it’s recommended you have alternative income choices at some point.
   Even conservative choices like using your CPF still requires some effort to learn how to maximize its use (deciding how much more to contribute to annually, tax avoidance, SA shielding at 55 etc)
   It’s not that hard to get started on investing on very low risk investments like SSB, Singapore government bonds and treasury bills, especially now as interest rates are high. After that you can explore contributing regular amounts to a low cost ETF.

[33F] [36M] I found out today that I’m the other woman and my BF is married with a baby on the way

I feel like such a fool. I met this guy online just about a year ago, let’s call him Craig. We hit it off and started seeing a lot of each other, and it developed into us seeing each other almost every day.

I’ve stayed at his place plenty of times, and he has stayed at mine. I mean he came to my family’s house for Xmas eve and Xmas?! Which is why this is such a shock.

Today, I received a call when I was getting ready for work from a # I didn’t recognize, I decided to answer. A woman introduces herself as Craig’s wife.

At first, I thought it was some kind of prank, but she explained that she was 3 months pregnant and her husband had revealed to her last month that he was having an affair.

He told her he had ended it, but she realized after looking at his phone records and texts he did not, so she decided to give me a call.

She was very nice and kept saying she knew it was not my fault and I probably had no idea. As this was not his first indiscretion. I didn’t really say much on the call bc I was in complete shock.

I, of course, call my BF, and he starts crying and admits everything telling me he was only with me when he and his wife were on a break and figured it would lead to a hookup that he didn’t realize he would meet his soulmate.

He said he was planning on telling me, but there was never a good time, and when his wife revealed she was pregnant, he didn’t know what to do and figured he’d deal with it after the holidays.

I’m so disappointed and saddened by this. I thought he was the one. Now I have to tell my family that the man I brought to stay for the holidays is married with a baby on the way. How embarrassing.

He wants to come over tonight to talk in person. I told him no, but was that the right thing? Should I try to hear him out or end it? I don’t know what there is to talk about, but he’s blowing up my phone like crazy.

I did feel like he was my soulmate, but I don’t want to be the other woman, I want to be the woman.

My husband just informed me he plans to be a househusband and I need to get a job.

I have been a stay at home mom since our first child. We have three school aged children now and I’m in my mid 40’s. I haven’t worked in 17 years.

My husband was diagnosed with mental health problems and he hasn’t gone to work physically since the pandemic and started the process of leaving over two years ago.

His plan was to go to school, try a new career and worst we would both work part time while things got going.

We’re still stuck in limbo, with one child due for university in a year and a half. And with inflation and a recession I am feeling hopeless.

I need to find work sooner rather than later and it’s just so depressing thinking about working for the next 20 years of my life just to scrape by because he can’t deal with life anymore.

I’ve had it good and he is sure to rub that in my nose and I know he is hurting but it just doesn’t feel like he’s even trying to get better and he’s just falling into his thoughts.

I want to work and help with finances and before he never wanted me to. I will get a job whether I like it or not.

Im just very stunned and confused and don’t know where to begin and what this means for him and us. I feel like he’s pulling away and is giving up and I’m scared.

Just needed to rant somewhere and i hope fellow singaporeans are able to relate to my problem.

My mom is ruining my long-term relationship with my partner. We met in school and have been in a relationship for going 5 years.

These 5 years, my mom has never been satisfied with my boyfriend. We’re in our mid 20s now and she still thinks he’s immature despite him consistently trying to improve himself. She always nitpicks on his tiny/old bad habits whenever he comes over.

My mom and him don’t talk much as my mom doesn’t speak english while mandarin is not my bf’s best language.

Recently, my mom called up a relative who has been unofficially practicing suan ming (fate calculating), and my relative predicted that i’ll surely divorce with my bf if we ever got married.

I know marriage should be between couple but i hate how my mom always rubs the old saying in my face, ‘Marriage without parent’s blessing will never be blissful’.

My bf has tried many ways to improve the relationship but my mom chose to only see the bad in him.

My mom is ruining my relationship but i also hate to be an unfilial child. I feel like i’m being kiap in the middle and just needed to talk to someone.

Sometimes, I really don’t understand the purpose of a dating app anymore.

I mean the whole real purpose is to find people to date while I understand some uses it to find ONS/FWB/hookups (how dating apps have been evolving to such use over the years)

but why are there attached people trying to look for ‘online’ friends to talk to when they have their partners/real life friends to talk to?

And they’re more opened to talk about their problems to strangers instead.

Am I being very narrow-minded for having thoughts like that because somehow I feel it’s a form of emotional cheating to their partners?

Not unless they have their partners’ consent to do it or they firmly know their intention to just find friends on the app when there’re probably other ways to look for friends instead of on a dating app.

Netizens’ comments

• Last time dating is just dating. Now dating got long term, short term and day dating.
• Because a lot of us need the feeling of being validated,liked,wanted,sought after…we constantly want to know our market value.. even when attached..we like that we are desirable..some people may never act on it..they take the attention but don’t respond per se ..but there are those weaker ones that will fall fully..its always a dangerous game to play,but like Russian Roulette it’s exciting,it provides a spark and cause your heart to beat a little bit faster,butterflies in your stomach..it feed something deep inside of us..and for that while we feel good..confident even..alot of people have the need to feel that they are constantly wanted by so many..feeds the ego and narcissist in us.
• Question is: can you control/stop others in a relationship from accessing dating apps? If not, just move on. It’s really none of your business what other people are doing, right?
• Because today’s ‘liberal thinking’ is that you can have open relationships, which imo isn’t even considered a relationship anymore

It all started when I got my first job out of Uni.

I was excited to start this new chapter in my life and the salary was good enough for me to pay for my monthly expenses, bills and still have some extra left over for fun.

But after a few months, I noticed that my bank account wasn’t increasing, in fact, it was decreasing. I wondered where all my money was going and decided to investigate.

It turns out that I was spending a lot of money on food. I was eating out with my friends almost every day and I was buying groceries every week.

I realized that I was spending way too much money on food and it was taking a serious toll on my finances.

That’s when I had the idea to start eating food from my office pantry every day.

It was a great way to save money, since the food in the pantry was free. I was able to make my own breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day and still have some snacks in between.

It was also a great way to connect with my colleagues, since we would all grab something from the pantry in the morning and chat while we ate.

At the end of the month, I realized that I had managed to save almost all of my salary.

I was amazed by how much money I had been able to save by eating from the office pantry.

I was also able to cut down on my grocery bill, since I was only buying items that I needed and not buying things that I would have otherwise bought out of impulse.

I have been eating from the office pantry for almost two years now and I have saved a lot of money.

I am able to use the money I save to pay off my student loans and invest in my future.

I also use some of the money to treat myself to something special, like a weekend getaway or a nice dinner out with friends.