I was scrolling through my LinkedIn newsfeed today when I came across a post that caught my attention.

It was about how employers prefer to hire foreign workers instead of Singaporeans because they are too comfortable and lack the drive to strive for more.

At first, I was taken aback by the post because I’m a proud Singaporean myself and had always been told that we, as a nation, are hardworking and driven. I was curious to learn more, so I decided to reach out to some employers to see if they could explain why they prefer to hire foreign workers instead of Singaporeans.

The first employer I spoke to was a small business owner who’s been in the manufacturing industry for over 10 years. He said that he’s always preferred to hire foreign workers because they are more motivated and willing to go the extra mile.

He explained that Singaporeans tend to be too comfortable and lack the drive to push themselves further. He said that he’s tried to hire Singaporeans in the past, but they often quit after a few months because they aren’t willing to put in the extra effort to make things work.

The second employer I spoke to was a larger business owner who has been in the electronics industry for over 20 years. He shared a similar view as the first employer, but he also pointed out that Singaporeans are often over-entitled and expect too much.

He said that foreign workers are willing to accept lower salaries and work harder to get what they want. He also added that foreign workers are more driven and willing to take risks, while Singaporeans are too risk-averse.

The third employer I spoke to was a startup founder who’s been in the IT industry for just a few years. He said that he prefers to hire foreign workers because they are more open to new ideas and are willing to take on different challenges. He said that Singaporeans are often too comfortable and prefer the status quo, whereas foreign workers are more open to trying new things and pushing boundaries.

From my conversations with the employers, I can understand why they prefer to hire foreign workers instead of Singaporeans. Singaporeans are often too comfortable and lack the drive to strive for more. They are also over-entitled and expect too much for what they do. On the other hand, foreign workers are more motivated, willing to take risks, and open to trying new things.

As a Singaporean, I find this to be quite disheartening, but I also understand why employers prefer foreign workers. I think the key takeaway here is that Singaporeans need to start pushing themselves and strive for more.

We need to be more open to trying new things and not be so comfortable with the status quo. We need to start taking risks and going the extra mile to show employers that Singaporeans can be just as driven and motivated as foreign workers.

Only then can we prove that we are just as capable and hardworking as any other nation.

 I never thought I would be writing this story. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions and I’m still struggling to come to terms with what has happened.

It all started when I found out my 3-year-old son is not mine. It was a complete shock and I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I couldn’t believe that my wife had been unfaithful and that I had been completely oblivious to it.

I had been working hard to provide for our family, and I had always been proud of the fact that I was able to provide for them even in hard times.

I had been working long hours, sacrificing time with my family to make sure that we had enough money to live on. I had never thought that my wife would betray me in such a way.

The worst part was that I had loved my son from the moment I found out he was coming into our lives. I had been so excited to be a father and I had devoted so much of my time and energy to making sure he was well taken care of. I had never imagined that he wasn’t mine, and it was devastating to know that my own wife had been unfaithful.

My wife had never actually admitted to the affair, but I knew the truth. I had found out that she had been seeing another man while I was out working hard to provide for our family. I couldn’t believe that she had betrayed me in such a way and I felt so betrayed and angry.

ON THE BED I SLEEP ON!

I confronted her about the affair, but she still denied it. I couldn’t believe that she would lie to my face, but I knew that she was lying. I was so hurt and angry that I had to leave our home and stay with some friends for a while.

In the weeks after I found out about the affair, I had a lot of time to think about what had happened. I was struggling to come to terms with the fact that my son wasn’t mine and that my wife had been unfaithful. I felt so betrayed and confused, and I just couldn’t understand why she had done it.

Eventually, I started to come to terms with what had happened and I tried to forgive my wife. I knew that I couldn’t keep living in the past, so I decided to move on and try to make the best of the situation.

But the pain is still there and I can’t get over it.

I ended up getting a divorce but the child is innocent. I will do whatever I can to fight for the custody of my child.

To all the people who have their spouse working hard outside. Please think twice before doing something stupid.

My kids are adults and I am still hurting over this. I have no family, he would go to his family, despite me not being welcome and take our kids with him. He told me it was my fault for not being likable.

And the time I had gone, my mother in law would give like the girlfriend of his brother a $50 gift card where mine was $15. And I had to get my food last after everyone because I wasn’t family.

One Christmas my brother in law told my daughter no one loves her because she’s too much like her mom.

Asked my then 12 year old son that he was being kept from them and offer to pick him (only him) up. My husband was working that day, he was going to go there with the kids after.

We’ve done some counseling, and he’s agreed to not go places where I am not welcome. So yay for that.

It hurts. And my husband hurts that he hurt me. And my kids are angry that Christmas has always sucked for them

It’s ok to not go home if your family is shit. I want you all to know that. Thank you for reading.

They say size doesnt matter, but I did everything, gave her oral, made her come through my fingers, even piv she claimed to come but wasnt enough for her to cheat behind my back.

She told the guy im small and worthless and she is simply wasting time and she needs a real man.

I am devastated right now and this too on christmas. Ive decided I will now only date women who fear adultery etc because this is my eye opener now.

She will cheat no matter how much you satisfy her she will want bigger.

This Christmas opened my eyes and im crying typing this but this is the reality for us nice guys who arent packing down there who just want an honest life who just want a family and a wife to love.

Welcome to the future where women as free as they are will dump you for another mans superior genitals.

Netizens’ comments

Don’t worry bro, I promise not all women are like this. Obviously she wasn’t worth being with if that’s an issue for her and she goes out and cheats.

It’s completely reasonable for you to feel like you feel right now, but you HAVE to push through and continue living your best life!

Hi guys,

I am a foreigner who married to local Singaporean. While we are having financial planning, we got a conflict about future plan. (FYI, we just purchase resale HDB flat with HDB loan)

My income is around 6k and my wife income is around 4.5k.

What I think is we have to save 60-70% (at least more than 50%) of the salary for the future plan such as retirement, jobless, hospitalized, have a baby.

But what she think is she only wants to save around 20-30% of her salary and enjoy her life with the rest. She insist that we are still young to think about retirement and have insurance for falling a sick. And baby plan, we can discuss next time.

Is it because you guys have CPF so normal Singaporean don’t worry about retirement and not caring about saving?

As I am a foreigner, I am not very familiar with Singaporean’s future financial planning with CPF.

Is it me trying to be too thrifty? Or she is over spending? When she spend like that, can we still have future plan?

Thank you for your advise guys.

Netizens’ comments

If you’re saving 70% of your salary, it means that you only have $1.8k spending money per month. It’s pretty tight a budget. But if you’re not planning on getting PR and having a CPF, i can see why you’re so concerned about retirement plans. From your wife’s pov, CPF is 37% plus her 20-30% savings, her total savings is pretty close to your 60-70%, so i’d say let her be.

Singapore’s unemployment rate is pretty low (based on official statistics), so i don’t think it’s much of a worry about joblessness for her. You as a foreigner is a different story since there’s foreign worker quotas, it’ll be a lot harder for you to seek employment if you are out of job, so yes, you’ll need to save for that unlike her.

Babies are expensive, but she can still enjoy subsidised rates for prenatal care, so you can discuss about it later on. Don’t need worry too much.

On the whole, i think your wife’s budget and thinking is pretty ok for a singaporean, nothing much for you to worry about her.

I kicked my wife out today… found she had cheated on me yet again and when I confronted her about it all she could say was “please not today I just want to have a good Christmas”…

I feel like a monster for kicking her out not just because of this shitty holiday but because through every time she has cheated I have loved and forgiven her.

I STILL love her… after pressing the issue about her hiding something on her phone she held her phone like a prize and taunted me saying “you want to see it so bad? You’ll only hurt yourself by looking” and she had this stupid smug smirk on her face like if she had won a battle I didn’t even know was happening…

I went to grab the phone and she bit me in the face so on instinct I pushed her away, I know I hurt her and that makes me sick. I didn’t mean to it was just a reaction…

I finally got the phone and before I even looked at it she was packing and pulling her things out of the house….

I. Feel. So. Empty… this marks time number six of her cheating, we’ve been married coming up on four years in January.. I HATE her, I hate that she’s doing this, I hate that she can’t just love me, I hate she doesn’t care and walked out so easily, I absolutely hate that I still love her..

my brain is screaming at me because I keep listening to my heart I want her back! My heart is screaming that it needs her and my brain is fighting saying we don’t.. how does one over come this inner battle? Did I do the right thing? What have I done? I..I just don’t want to be here anymore..

Merry Christmas to me, gotta write a letter to Santa though because all of this definitely was NOT on my list.

I get interested too quickly

I (21F) get obsessed (not sure if it’s the right word – I’ll elaborate more below) with any guy that shows the slightest interest me and I don’t know how to stop it. This may not be directly linked to a relationship I am in atm, but it influences my interactions and I would like some advice on how to stop, please.

So, whenever I start talking to a guy/ I like a guy or they show some interest in me, I start living my day in their gaze almost and they take up a lot (if not all) of mental estate.

Even after meeting once, afterwards I’ll constantly think about my interactions with them, what had happened and what future ones could look like. And then when I get ghosted (which has happened a lot this year 😅), I ruminate over what I might have did wrong or how I could salvage it – even if we only met up like twice.

Whenever I get close to a connection, it completely takes over my life and how I view myself and honestly it is quite exhausting and influences my relationships with myself and others…

Has anyone experienced this or have some tips on how to move away from this unhealthy pattern? I did face some abandonment as a child from both my parents and while I have a decent relationship with my parents now, could this still be influencing how I view relationships? In general I am level-headed and cool, but in relationships I just seem to completely flip the cup 🫣.

I made a mistake with my marriage

I’m 8 months pregnant and my husband has not stepped up to help me while I’m struggling. I’m burnt out and in pain and I just want to run away.

We have a 4.5 month old puppy who still needs a lot of attention and on weekends my stepson is here the help is even worse.

I was going to buy a new car when the baby got here but now I’m researching nanny’s because I know I will be drowning.

I feel like a failure but divorce is starting to sound so appealing because at least then I won’t have to take care of my husband and step son anymore.

I feel so lost. I don’t want to ruin Christmas for my friends but I really needed to let this out.

Netizens’ comments

• Glad you could get that off your chest. That’s a lot to be responsible for and that shouldn’t be weighted on one person. Tell him Christmas was fun but now it’s time to be a daddy and step up. If divorce is what it takes for you to grow, then by all means, get help now because the baby will be a lot. Good luck with this; you’re doing better than you think! Cheers
• I would say that whatever you do, make sure you can afford whatever you’re planning financially. My ex quit his job 2 weeks after I was pregnant with our daughter, started cheating, etc. I couldn’t get over the feeling that it was just part of his plan, to trap me into supporting him forever. I don’t know your whole situation, but yeah, if you go through with it just make sure you’re financially sound enough to do it alone. Childcare is especially expensive when they’re young and can really limit your options if you’re forced to stay home with them.

I’m so deprived of female touch that I only go to female hairdressers.

I go to female barbers since that’s only female interaction I can get that is non work related. As pathetic as it sounds, it makes my day better and improves my mood.

The only downside is I attach myself to a woman that I only see once in a few month that I basically don’t even talk to.

The reason I say that this is the only female interaction I can get is that I’m incredibly ugly.

Netizens’ comments

1. I somehow doubt you’re that ugly. You need to work on your confidence. What you’re doing is pretty weird.
2. I never understood this problem, we are literally half the population. Moms, sisters, classmates, teachers, coworkers, retail workers… we are everywhere so I don’t understand this ‘deprivation’ unless women purposely distance themselves from you because of this weird mentality.
3. That’s kinda gross- not the desire to have female touch, that’s fine and normal, but to seek female professionals who are obligated to touch you so they can do their job, and you using them to take care of that specific need? You’re going to need other types of professionals to do that.
   It’s like if I went to the gynaecologist to have him touch my vag whenever I’m in need of a male’s touch. It’s very sketchy.
4. Maybe stop doing creepy things and start working on your social interactions? It’s kind of gross that youre using these people for your pleasure.
5. Work on yourself, the more love you build on yourself the more attractive you become.

For example, if you workout, if you become smarter by reading into interesting topics, if you have a passion about something like rock climbing, chess, engineering w/e.

By being physically healthy, you will feel more confident in yourself and by having hobbies interests etc. You will find like minded people with similar life styles all whilst becoming an overall more interesting person.

Next comes learning to listen, ask questions about other peoples hobbies, passion, interests, discover people. Show empathy, soft enthusiasm, relatable stories etc.

These simple steps bring positivity and attraction because a healthy man who is caring gentle, interesting, a good listener and communicator is going to get you a women’s touch.

Even the “ugliest” face when matched with a warm beautiful heart, smart mind and a healthy body can get you the right person for you

The final step is communication. That’s a big one to work on and does wonders.

No one wants a negative, unhealthy, uninteresting, poor listener and communicator who creepily begs.

Go to war with yourself, attack your weaknesses and come out a strong confident gentle man❤️

Stop looking externally and start looking internally. When you look at yourself, you will find all the answers you need👊🏼