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23 Y.O GIRL SAYS FAMILY TOO RELIGIOUS, BUT SHE WANTS TO LOSE HER ‘V-CARD’

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I want to abandon this account if I get weird DMs.

I was raised in an extremely religious family. No kissing before marriage religious. I have been kissed, but I’m 23 and still a virgin. So I’ve been considering making a Tinder and just… getting it over with

Growing up, I was taught that S was something to be saved for marriage and that it was a sacred act that should only be shared between two people who were committed to each other. But as I got older, I started to think differently about S and my own v-card. I began to feel like I was being held back by my family’s expectations and that I was missing out on something important.

When I was in poly, I started to explore and more and I realized that I wanted to lose my V. I started to date and to experiment with different partners, but I never felt comfortable going all the way. I was too scared of what my family would think and I didn’t want to disappoint them.

I started to feel really trapped, like I was stuck between two worlds and I couldn’t move forward.

I knew that this was going to be a difficult decision and that it was going to be scary, but I was determined to do it. I decided that I was going to take things slowly and that I was going to make sure I was comfortable with whoever I chose to be my partner.

I don’t care about a special first time, so why not? But I have concerns. The main one is I’m worried about meeting a creep and not knowing the warning signs. (I wouldn’t advertise it on my profile, but I’d tell a guy before making plans.)

The secondary one is I’m worried about being bad. Any advice? Is this entire plan stupid?

WOMAN ASKED IF SHE SHOULD PAY OFF BF’S CREDIT CARD DEBT SO THEY CAN BE TOGETHER

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Paying my boyfriend’s credit card debt…

How stupid of an idea is this?

My situation:

  1. This month my boyfriend of 3 years is moving from overseas to be with me!
  2. A lot of the external factors that kept him spending (friends who couldn’t pay rent, etc) are going to disappear, and even though he is moving to a high-cost-of-living city, his expenses are going to drop dramatically
  3. He has a lot of credit card debt. I don’t know the exact amount. At least $10k, possibly up to $15k.
  4. We are both in well-paying professions. He already has a job for when he moves up here, and if it falls through, he’ll be able to get another one easily.
  5. I have significant savings and a high savings rate.
  6. He is looking forward to his credit card debt disappearing once and for all.
  7. There’s a very good chance that in the future we will get married, and then “my” and “your” money will turn into “our” money. So him being in a financial rut effects my future.

So here’s my idea: Currently, I have a spreadsheet for my family and I that tallies up the monthly expenses (rent, utilities, extra things like if I pick up cat food etc). When the boyfriend moves in, the sheet will be adjusted to add him in.

Instead of him paying me that $X a month, I will extend to him an interest free loan for that amount, and he will contribute that much more towards his credit card debt (along with him paying considerable amounts of his own money; this would basically be helping him pay it down faster) .

Once his credit card debt is paid off, he will start paying me back. If the relationship dissolves, he will still owe me the money, it will still be interest free because I’m a kind soul.

Has anybody else here tried something like this? How did it go? Am I crazy for doing this? It just kills me that he’s probably paying 20%+ in interest (did I mention that he frequently forgets to pay things on time? Fortunately two months ago we sat down and I helped him set up autopay for all of his accounts).

The only flaw I see with this plan is that this upcoming year, I was planning to start paying my parents back for Uni (I owe the about $28k, in the form of an interest free loan.

After you subtract this loan, my networth is till around $140k). My family and I were planning to discuss the terms of this repayment over Christmas.

My dad hinted that faster payoffs mean that they will reduce the amount I owe them (ie, just gift me money) so I don’t know if paying for my boyfriend’s major reoccurring expenses will get in the way of this. I don’t think it will; I’ve got a decent amount sitting around uninvested, so since it’s not making me any money anyway, I’ll probably just hand my parents a significant percentage of the loan in a lump sum.

To make it clear, my idea was not to simply be paying a lump sum to eliminate his debts. It would be to defer his portion of rent/utilities/etc until after his cc debt was handled, so that he could pay it down faster.

DESPERATE & SINGLE BRIDESMAIDS JUDGING EVERY MAN THEY SEE, NO WONDER SINGLE

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Got called at a wedding. Walked away without saying anything.

(33M)Went to a wedding last week, first one since COVID. Thought I’d spend a little on a new suit. Tailored. Got dressed up. The wedding was fun enough, but then…

I went to get some air and on the way back, one of the bridesmaid (Late 20s) and two female friends (Late 20s)were standing near the door leading to the dinner hall, clearing scanning for someone.

Bridesmaid: “Look for the hot guy in the blue suit.”

(I’m in a new tailored blue suit)

Friend: Yeah he was hot….

(I walk past…)

Friend #2: Is that him?

Bridemaid: Ew, no he’s ugly.

(I continue walking, pretending I didn’t hear)

I don’t think they were there to judge me directly, I think they were just loud and didn’t realize that I heard the whole thing, but still it was cruel and I spent the evening doom scrolling. This has taught be an important lesson, no matter how much I spend on clothes, watches, haircuts. I’m just ugly. My face is doomed. Last time I dare to hope.

Anyway, I walked away without saying anything, which was tough, but when I got home and tired to sleep, it just kept replaying, over and over and over.

I hate my life so much sometimes, honestly.

WOMAN SCARED THAT HER BF WILL LEAVE HER IF SHE CANNOT GET PREGNANT

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Boyfriend is urging me to see a gynocologist so he can know if we can have kids in the future.

Im 22F and hes 25M. My entire life I’ve had very irregular periods and some symptoms resembling PCOS or my hormones being off.

Throughout my life ive seen doctors for this but have never gotten a pap smear. Doctors have told me to wait till im older (when I was 14), then at 17 put me on birth control to manage symptoms. They told me they saw a small cyst on my ovary but it could still be nothing. I haven’t gone back for a further checkup just due to. money and honestly fear of doctors and the results.

I don’t want to know i cant have kids. Im a preschool teacher and love children. It would deeply hurt and id feel like i failed. I dont even know how we got on this topic but last night my boyfriend brought up he is upset because i wont go get checked and he doesn’t know if we can have kids and wants to plan. I feel like he is pressuring me when i have a crippling fear of doctors and not emotionally supporting me at all. He is basically saying he doesn’t know if he can stay with me if i dont go get checked out.

I told him we have only been living together for 1 year and aren’t engaged or anything. I dont want kids for another 3-5 ish years. I don’t know where all of this is coming from but hes getting so frustrated and keeps saying i could prevent it from getting worse so that one day we can have kids.

I dont think he understands all doctors have ever done is tell me in overweight or being dramatic about my pain levels.

I think he will leave me if I cant have children.

19 Y.O NSF WHO WAS KILLED FIGHTING FIRE, MUM HEARTBROKEN WHILE IDENTIFYING SON’S BODY

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The mother of the 19-year-old NSF who died while fighting a fire that broke out at a HDB flat in Henderson Road, has reportedly identified her son’s body, according to Shin Min Daily News.

SMDN reported that the mother of the fallen NSF was seen in white on 9 December at about 10am to identify her deceased son’s body.

She was accompanied by people from the SCDF, as she remained in the autopsy room for about 30 minutes, and she later emerged from the room with tears in her eyes.

The mother told the media that she was “heartbroken” as she expressed her sadness about her son’s passing in the line of duty.

The family living in the burning HDB unit that the NSF was fighting fire in, has since apologised for the incident that led to his death, according to The Straits Times.

21-year-old Muhammad Azri Ramlan, who was in the flat at the time of the fire, said that “it’s very sad to know of his death, on behalf of my family, I would like to say sorry to his family for their loss.”

He added that “they have a great son, he’s an NSF like me and he put his life at risk to save others.”

Recap (SCDF’s statement)

[𝗦𝗖𝗗𝗙 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁: 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝗲 @ 𝟵𝟭 𝗛𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝗮𝗱; 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝘀𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗹]

SCDF was alerted to a fire at 91 Henderson Road at about 11.10 am today (8 Dec 2022).

Upon arrival, the fire was raging inside a unit on the 4th floor and the corridor was heavily smoke-logged. SCDF firefighters, donning breathing apparatus, entered and pushed through the smoke-logged unit with two water jets to engage the fire.

Sometime into the firefighting operation, a Full-time National Serviceman (NSF) firefighter fell unconscious in the kitchen area. His crew immediately brought him out of the unit and administered cardio-pulmonary resuscitation on him. An SCDF ambulance crew at the scene also used the automated external defibrillator on him and conveyed him to Singapore General Hospital. He was pronounced dead at the hospital.

SCDF and his teammates are very saddened by his death, and extend our deepest condolences to his family. The NSF firefighter was part of the first response crew for this fire incident, and was bravely carrying out his mission of protecting and saving lives and property.

SCDF is providing assistance and support to the family during this difficult time.

Investigations are ongoing.

26 Y.O MAN LETS SCAM SYNDICATES USE HIS SINGPASS FOR MONEY LAUNDERING, CHARGED

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MAN TO BE CHARGED FOR DISCLOSING SINGPASS LOGIN DETAILS USED BY SCAM SYNDICATES FOR MONEY LAUNDERING

A 26-year-old man will be charged in court on 9 December 2022 for his suspected involvement in knowingly disclosing his Singpass login details to other persons. His Singpass was allegedly used by criminals to open bank accounts online and these bank accounts were purportedly used to launder proceeds of crime by scam syndicates.

In May 2022, the man responded to an Instagram message which offered him cash in exchange for his Singpass details. After he allegedly handed over his Singpass login details, a syndicate was able to register five bank accounts with HSBC, CIMB, SCB and UOB in his name. The bank accounts were subsequently used to launder proceeds of crime amounting to more than $650,000.

For disclosing his Singpass login details, the man will be charged in court under Section 8(2)(a) of the Computer Misuse Act 1993. If convicted, he will be liable to an imprisonment term not exceeding three years and a fine not exceeding $10,000, or both, for first-time offenders.

The Police take a serious view of these offences. The Police will not hesitate to take action against individuals who may be involved in scams, and deal with perpetrators in accordance with the law. To avoid being an accomplice to crime, members of the public should always reject seemingly attractive money-making opportunities promising fast and easy pay-outs for the use of their Singpass accounts, bank accounts or allow their personal accounts to be used to receive and transfer money for others. Remember that you will be held accountable if these are linked to crimes.

For more information on scams, members of the public can visit www.scamalert.sg or call the Anti-Scam Hotline at 1800-722-6688. Anyone with information on such scams may call the Police Hotline at 1800-255-0000 or submit information online at www.police.gov.sg/iwitness. All information will be kept strictly confidential.

PUBLIC AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT
SINGAPORE POLICE FORCE
08 December 2022 @ 11:20 AM

19 Y.O WANTS A NOSE JOB BUT AFRAID THAT SHE WILL GET JUDGED BY OTHERS

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I (19, F) have been considering getting a nose job for quite some time now, i generally am satisfied with my nose when looking in a mirror but when i see photos of myself and my nose in all its 3d form it makes me feel quite insecure.

I don’t mind it in photos from very particular angles but I swear my nose is so wonky the slightest movement creates a whole different nose.

if i were to get a nose job i would mainly just want to slim it down a bit make it more symmetrical and refine my bulbous tip. however i have a few worries, im worried that somehow having had plastic surgery will make me less attractive because of the superficiality or not having ‘valid’ beauty.

For example i often see when female celebrities are being praised for their looks the comments are often followed by a ‘oh but she’s had plastic surgery’, as if that somehow takes away from their beauty?

i understand that it is often used as a term to reassure ourselves to not feel the pressure of a hand-sculpted face and compare ourselves so critically, but if i were to go ahead with the procedure, i’m worried that i will feel ‘less then’ compared to a natural woman. i also am someone does often get complimented for my looks, so i worry that by changing this feature of mine that perhaps is only devastating to me, i will be seen as totally superficial and far too concerned and a perfectionist with my looks? does anyone else feel this guilt?

i want a nose job but i’m concerned about the societal judgement of not being a ‘natural’ beauty.

26 Y.O MAN ALLEGEDLY MOLESTED HIS 19 Y.O DRIVING STUDENT @ WOODLANDS, CHARGED

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MAN TO BE CHARGED WITH OUTRAGE OF MODESTY

A 26-year-old man will be charged in court on 9 December 2022 for his suspected involvement in a case of outrage of modesty.

On 5 August 2022, the Police received a report on a case where a 19-year-old woman reported that she was allegedly molested by the man who was her driving instructor. Between March and April 2022, the victim was molested on numerous occasions by the man at the vicinity of the driving school along Woodlands Industrial Park E4. Through follow-up investigations, officers from Woodlands Police Division established the identity of the man and arrested him on 8 December 2022. The Traffic Police also revoked his driving instructor’s licence.

The man will be charged in court with outrage of modesty under Section 354(1) of the Penal Code 1871. The offence carries an imprisonment term of up to three years, or fine, or caning, or any combination of such punishments.

The Police have zero tolerance towards sexual offenders who threaten the safety of those in the community. Offenders will be dealt with sternly in accordance with the law. The Police would also like to urge members of the public to remain vigilant and to report the matter to the Police immediately, if they witnessed an incident of outrage of modesty, or are aware of someone being a victim of outrage of modesty.

PUBLIC AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT
SINGAPORE POLICE FORCE
08 December 2022 @ 6:45 PM

376 SCAMMERS BEING INVESTIGATED FOR 1,300 CASES OF SCAMS, YOUNGEST SUSPECT 13 Y.O

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POLICE INVESTIGATE 376 SCAMMERS AND MONEY MULES IN ISLAND-WIDE ENFORCEMENT OPERATION

Officers from the Commercial Affairs Department and the seven Police Land Divisions conducted a two-week operation between 25 November 2022 and 8 December 2022. A total of 254 men and 122 women, aged between 13 and 71, are assisting in investigations for their suspected involvement in scams as scammers or money mules. The suspects are believed to be involved in more than 1,300 cases of scams, comprising mainly e-commerce scams, internet love scams, job scams, rental scams, Government and China Officials impersonation scams and fake friend call scams, where victims reportedly lost over $9.2 million.

The suspects are being investigated for the alleged offences of cheating, money laundering or providing payment services without a licence. The offence of cheating under Section 420 of the Penal Code 1871 carries an imprisonment term of up to 10 years and a fine. The offence of money laundering under the Corruption, Drug Trafficking and Other Serious Crimes (Confiscation of Benefits) Act 1992 carries an imprisonment term of up to 10 years, a fine of up to $500,000, or both. The offence of carrying on a business to provide any type of payment service in Singapore without a licence under Section 5 of the Payment Services Act 2019 carries a fine of up to $125,000, an imprisonment term of up to three years, or both.

The Police take a serious stance against any person who may be involved in scams, and perpetrators will be dealt with in accordance with the law. To avoid being an accomplice to crimes, members of the public should always reject requests by others to use your bank account or mobile lines as you will be held accountable if these are linked to crimes.

PUBLIC AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT
SINGAPORE POLICE FORCE
09 December 2022 @ 10:35 AM

BANGLADESHI LANDSCAPE WORKER KILLED AFTER BEING HIT BY TREE TRUNK @ TOA PAYOH

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A 28-year-old Bangladeshi worker died after being hit by a tree trunk at Toa Payoh while carrying out lifting operations, according to The Straits Times.

He was hoisting a tree trunk onto a truck when it got dislodged and hit him, resulting in the worker hitting his head against the pavement.

He was conveyed to the hospital but succumbed to his injuries and died.

The incident happened on 7 December at Toa Payoh East Road, near 1003 Toa Payoh Industrial park at about 3.30pm.

The landscaping worker, who was employed by Penta Landscape was loading tree trunks at the time onto a truck during pruning and was carrying out lifting operations using a lorry crane.

One of the tree trunks then got dislodged and slipped from the lifting sling while being hoisted and hit the worker.

Following the incident, Penta Landscape has been ordered to stop all tree pruning and lifting operations as the Ministry of Manpower investigate the incident.

The worker is the 43rd workplace fatality this year.