I (39m) am engaged to Tina (32f). We work in different fields and I make about 15% more than her. When we were dating, we got along so well that we knew we’ll be spending the rest of our lives together. We talked about it often and decided early on to combine our finances when we do get married. Then we got engaged and things fell apart when I discovered the details of her finances.

I’ve always lived a frugal life. I wear ordinary clothes and drive ordinary cars. Tina has always dressed better and drove better cars. It’s been a running joke in our friend group that she’s marrying down. I’ve always laughed and didn’t mind, better she looks amazing, like she just stepped out of a magazine cover.

Now that we’re engaged, we went through our financials in detail. I don’t want to go into too much detail so I’ll be brief. The money that I don’t spend I invest. My assets and investments are roughly 20x of hers and she owes about $50,000 spread over several cards and $75,000 on her new car. If she cash out her investments and retirement, she still wouldn’t have enough to pay off her debt.

I was shocked into silence. I don’t make that much more than her so I always figured our asset levels are close. I never imagined there would be such a wide gap and that doesn’t even include her debt.

After thinking about it for weeks, I finally told Tina the other day that I want to keep our finances separate until she pays off her debt. I don’t want to say, “I do,” and immediately take on $125,000 in debt.

She argued that we always talked about joining our lives and sharing everything and now I’m having doubts. I told her I have no doubts about spending the rest of my life with her, I just don’t want to take on so much debt.

i found out my friends had a group chat where they chat shit about me

i have (had) a group of friends and they were genuinely some of the nicest, funniest, and most entertaining people to be around and last night i found out they had a group chat without me which started because a bunch of them thought i was annoying.

i think everyone is entitled to their own opinion and i don’t think anyone has to like me but i think that if they don’t they should make it clear to me that they have a problem with me.

a lot of them still talked to me like we were really good friends for months. they would respond to my stories, say me and my bf were cute, tell me their own secrets and act like we were friends but now it’s all been thrown away and i feel so shitty because it’s not the first time this kind of thing has happened to me and i don’t think it’s that everyone i meet is a horrible person- it can’t be, but i think i am the problem.

i dont know what i did to them because i was nothing but nice to them and i try to be nothing but nice to people but clearly there’s something in me which makes people dislike me. i’ve been thinking about it all night because i just can’t understand why. (please don’t use this in those stupid gameplay videos on tiktok)

My GF (23F) of 5 years has suddenly started to try enforcing curfews on me (23M)

We started dating in school and I knew I wanted to marry her, but all of a sudden she’s starting to say she doesn’t know if she can stay with me if I don’t change.

It’s never been a problem before, but now if I go out with friends she tries to enforce a curfew with me. It’s literally small gatherings with my friends that I’ve always had.

I’ve invited her before but she says she doesn’t want to be around people she doesn’t know. For example, I’ll usually head home around 2 or 3AM and now she’s saying I have to be back by 10 or 11.

I waited my whole youth to be an adult who can live life how he wants to finally. All of sudden I have someone else now (in my eyes) treating me like a child saying I’m not respecting her boundaries if I don’t listen.

I’ve never told her anything limiting where she can go or at what time she has to leave. She says if I want to be with her and marry her I have to respect her expectations.

I just feel as if you want someone you want to be a life partner you wouldn’t want to decrease their quality of life or social interactions.

Is my view of marriage immature? Is there any solution here?

Why do people give seats to young children?

I am genuinely curious why do I see people giving up their seats to children (roughly 4-8yo) on mrt when they clearly are able to stand unassisted and easily. I totally get it if i have to give up my seat to a parent carrying a toddler on them. But these children can stand on their own, a 30+ yo person like me is the one who has problems standing up for prolonged periods 😭

Edit If I stand for long I get tired, still can stand but just tired, thanks for the concern everyone haha.

Netizens’ comments

• Is to confine the kid to a small 1×1 box so they dont teleport all over the place
• I give the seat up more for the parents sake than the kids honestly. I think they’d rather have the kid sit still in one spot than have them trying to run around.
• Some give to prevent the kids from being a nuisance by running around.
• i’ve seen kids getting offered a seat and after a minute they get up and start running around instead 😭 i feel u OP
• Kids tend to get tired easier and also having them seated just stops them being a nuisance or falling over/down when the train moves unexpectedly such as when it’s switching tracks (this for example happens when travelling between Bukit Batok and Jurong East). What concerns is me is someone in their 30s saying they can’t stand for prolonged periods. Are you ok dude? (This is a genuine question) 20s to 40s should be prime health

Does anyone work for a company that has a mandatory crazy office dress code? I know someone who was required to wear pantyhose every time she wears a dress or a skirt.

Not sure if the boss is sick or he has some kind of perverted liking to that piece of cloth.

Curious to hear your answers.

Btw, my boss he is male and in his 50s.

Here are what netizens think:

• My brother worked at enterprise and he was always battling the must wear business professional attire but don’t want to ruin actual nice clothes. 

• Most offices has a basic dresscode but I have never heard of a pantyhose requirement. Most likely your boss is sick

• In the late 90s we had to ask the men in the office if our open-toed shoes were a distraction to them. If they said yes we could not wear them. The guys had such fun with that one! We also could not “bare arms” and only skirt suits were encouraged.

• In my first job out of uni, I came to work. My skirt was a bit above knee length. They told me I had to change (I lived an hour away) or not be paid for the day. I had to walk to the mall and buy a skirt that didn’t fit….for a job done completely on the phone behind a closed door. All of this is to say, this is a red flag and I hope you are happy in the job otherwise.

New person at work talks to themselves and it’s driving my boss crazy.

Boss wants me to talk to them about it, but I’m not sure how to bring it up.

Earlier this year we hired a new employee at my job, and things have been going well so far. They’re smart, a good worker, and get along pretty well with the rest of the team. Except there’s one issue that has recently come up and I’m not sure how to handle it.

Lately they’ve started talking to themselves on and off during the workday. To give you an idea, it’s like they’re narrating everything they’re doing, things like: “Okay, so now I’m going to…” “Wow, what? Let’s go ahead and fix that.” Earlier I heard, “Gonna run to the restroom real quick” before seeing them duck out and head down the hall.

Now don’t get me wrong, I talk to myself on occasion as well, even at work. But this is happening at a frequency and volume that is becoming quite distracting. We’re talking normal conversation level loud. My desk is far enough away that I can manage to ignore it for the most part, but my boss’s office is pretty close to where the new person sits, and apparently new person’s habit has started to bother them.

For some context, I’ve been at this job for several years now and recently have begun working with my boss on some projects that make it clear I’m being prepared for a more senior, supervisory role. There have been talks about putting me in charge of an entire division of this organization at some point in the future, and obviously one of the responsibilities that comes with that is personnel management. My boss will give me little tasks or ask for my input on certain items that are outside my current job description, with the implication that I’m being prepared for expanded responsibilities.

So, here’s my issue: One morning my boss sends me a private chat that basically said, “I might need you to tell [new person], behind the scenes, to tone it down. I’m one bad morning away from flipping out over all the noises.”

My boss is not the type to shy away from tough conversations, so I know they wouldn’t delegate this to me to avoid dealing with it themselves. I’ve personally seen them deal with similar employee issues several times over the years, so I also don’t think this is something the boss feels they’re above having to mess with. I get the feeling this is a “Let’s see how they handle this” situation.

My problem is that, by nature, I’m a very shy, introverted, and conflict-avoidant person. I’ve obviously worked on this and gotten better at it over the years, but I still get that sick feeling in my stomach when it comes time for those tough conversations.

Do I just need to toughen up and be like, “Hey all the talking is bothering people and you need to cut it out”? Is there a more delicate way to address this? Has anyone dealt with a similar situation, and how did you handle it?

So, i ORD next August and with that nearing, i’ve been looking into getting back into my normal life. My 1st option is to get into uni but the problem is this…

I graduated from poly with an audio engineering diploma.

For those who may not know what that means, it basically involves anything where sound is concerned. Live sound for the stage, music production, movie and video sound effects, etc. Anything from setting up the equipment to editing, that’s what I was trained to do. However, I came to realise around the late 2nd yr to early 3rd yr that this line of work may not be as lucrative/sustainable as I would like to allow me to live somewhat comfortably and provide for my family. And admittedly, my choice of diploma post-o’lvl was quite impulse-fueled.

So now i wanna jump ship. Change industry. Specifically, i wanna get into Physiotherapy. The only uni that seems to offer this is SIT but after researching, it appears that I need to have had prior education relevant to physio but since i came from a completely different background, i think my chances of getting in are basically next to 0. So i thought my next best bet is a work-study programme. But when i check out Skillsfuture, all the courses they offer, they either dun relate to physio or i just have no interest in it.

My last option is i go and get a part time job or smth but it most likely won’t be a job that i can sustain working in for long because of either the pay or my lack of interest just drains me quicker. I need better direction.

Maybe im missing smth right now. Idk but im feeling pretty lost here. So if y’all can help enlighten my dumb ass and help me get my bearings on wut to do in the local landscape after i ord, i would greatly appreciate it.