I’m in my mid 30’s, married and have a 2-year-old. Over probably the last decade I have accumulated debt and buried my head in the sand and not confronted it. This is now at 34k and my wife has no idea.

I have recently had the lightbulb moment and realised it needs to change and started taking action such as moving to 0% interest and stopping ALL credit card payments. but since confronting the issue I cant sleep and its taking over my every thought. The breakdown is like this

Bank loan – $7000 outstanding, $200 a month repayment

Credit Card 1 – $6600 outstanding, $170 a month repayment, 0% interest until December 2023

Credit Card 2 – $4750 outstanding – $100 a month repayment – occurring about $50 interest a month

Credit Card 3 – $9000 outstanding – $150 repayment a month, 0% interest until Jan 2024

Credit Card 4 – $2000 outstanding – $50 repayment a month

Credit Card 5 – $4500 a month – $115 repayment per month – 0% until Feb 2023

Total -$33,850 – repayments per month $800

Income – I earn $2180 after CPF deduction

I also pay $900 a month into our joint account to pay for the mortgage and bills, my wife works part-time and covers the food.

At the end of the month I will be left with around $300 but always have things crop up so this quickly goes.

Please let me know if I am doing the correct things in going to interest-free credit cards as much as possible. I can also see there’s an option to borrow money against my mortgage, doing this will mean I could borrow $34k and pay around $580 per month and be fully paid off in 5 years, is this a good idea? it will be less interest overall as I am unable to put all my debt onto interest-free.

Thank you so much.

Here are what netizens think:

• If you want your marriage to continue, firstly I would recommend you sit down and told your wife the situation. Hopefully as a couple she may be able to get you out the hole quicker.

• The first step is probably stop spending…

My boyfriend and I broke up over the weekend a couple of months ago. We were together for 2.5 years and had lived together for about 2 of those years. He moved out on Nov. 2, but not all of his belongings were able to fit in his car. He was planning on gathering the rest of his things a few days later. But before then, I had decided to cut off contact with him, and before I did so, I had called him to tell him that he needed to get the rest of his things that weekend while I was away. He agreed to do so. Whenever I came back home, I was annoyed and not surprised to see his things were still at my house. So, I waited a couple of weeks to see if he would make an effort to try and get the rest of his belongings, but I heard nothing. I figured he must not have wanted everything else and decided to donate them to the charity.

Today (nearly 4 months post-breakup) I received a text from my ex’s mom asking if I would be home this weekend so he could come and get his things and for me to call him. His mother reached out to me because I have my ex’s number and all social media accounts blocked. I haven’t responded just yet as I am at a loss on what to say. He had his chance to get the rest of his things and he dropped the ball. Am I a bad person for donating everything else after he said he would and never did?

Here are what netizens think:

• You gave him one phone call and one opportunity before blocking him on all forms of social. How, exactly, did you expect him to get the stuff? Did you expect him to just show up at your apartment unannounced? You needed to warn him before you donated all his things instead of just doing it because you didn’t hear from him

• Wait but she cut contact and blocked him so if there was a reason he couldn’t she didn’t give him any avenues to inform her? AND changed the locks?? Like I can understand if she put the things in a box in a semi secure location and asked him to grab it. That way she could have her space and not see him but get his stuff back to him.

• I wouldn’t keep my locks the same for 4 freaking months if an ex still had the keys.

• She doesn’t owe him anything other than thirty days. It’s been four months. If his mother could contact her now he could’ve contacted her earlier as well. Locks need to be changed since he no longer lived there and she gave him the opportunity to get his things.

A netizen shared how his company is paying new graduates more than the existing workers while also refusing to increase their salary.

Here is the story

New grads at work getting paid higher than us, and the company doesn’t want to increase our salary. Is this a valid reason to quit?

essentially the new graduates entering this year are getting paid a sizeable increment more than the older graduates.

Naturally, the older graduates (including me) are disappointed as we are already handling more responsibilities and tougher issues but we are getting paid lesser than them.

The newer graduates are also coming to us for help. (not that I blame them, it’s not their fault for this discrepancy).

When my batch mates tried to negotiate an increment, management said that it would only come next year, which didn’t go well with us and honestly the morale has been low.

Contemplating whether i should quit, but one thing stopping me is that I only joined this company late last year, so im not sure whether other employers would be understanding. Thanks in advance!

P.S in terms of job scope, i do not dislike or like the role, it has its pros and cons.

Netizens’ comments

• Yes. If the company is not adequately compensating you, then you shouldn’t think twice about staying. Since it shows that they don’t value you.

• Why is there a need for a “valid” reason to quit in the first place? Why is approval needed for resignation?

Before I begin I would like to say that my English is not the best so I apologize for any mistakes I make.

As the title says, I got mad at my fiancee because she doesn’t want my brother to attend our wedding because he has Downs Syndrome. The other day when we were planning a few things about our wedding I mentioned that I wanted my brother to be the best man at the wedding to which my fiancee said that she didn’t want him to attend. At first I was very surprised at what she said because she always treated my brother better than most of the people that have met him and I actually thought she wasn’t serious but she went on to explain that he shouldn’t even come to the ceremony because all he does is ruin events like that (which isn’t true at all) and that it would be better without him there.

For the next few days this has been a matter of constant arguing between the two of us because she wants me to put her own wedding wishes above my brother. Some of her family agrees with her that I should put her above my own brother but I just can’t accept that. My brother has been the best thing I’ve ever had and I’m not about to leave him out of my wedding because my wife thinks he would make things worse.

Now, to make matters worse, some of her friends are accusing me of being selfish for this and that she’s right about my brother being a bad idea for the wedding. I’m actually considering ending things but that’s beyond the point I’m trying to make.

Am I in the wrong for getting mad at my fiancé after she said she didn’t want my brother to attend our wedding?

Here are what netizens think:

• I would be calling off the wedding. It’s your brother

• This is absurd, don’t marry him

I have been together with my GF for 3 years. In October I bought an expensive ring and asked her to marry me. Things were going well until there were some twists and turns in our professional lives and we postponed the wedding. This all caused a lot of fights. Two days before Christmas she gave me the ring back and we broke up.

A week passed and we got back together, but we decided not to be engaged anymore. All through January, we were awkward with each other, we barely spoke and I felt like we wouldn’t last long. I decided to sell the ring, I didn’t see the need to keep it to remind me of something that didn’t work out and I could use the money to buy something useful.

In February things settled between us and we are getting back on track. On the 14th, I planned a romantic dinner and we exchanged gifts. The next day, She said she felt a little disappointed that she didn’t get her engagement ring back. I said that I had already sold the ring 3 weeks ago and that caused a big fight.

She says I’m a irresponsible BF for selling the ring without consulting her. I disagree because she gave me the ring back so it was mine and we weren’t getting married in the near future. I vented about it to a few friends, most of them thought I was too insensitive and should have told them that I planned to sell the ring.

Here are what netizens think:

• Could it be that she sees you selling the engagement ring as giving up on the entire relationship when you two had gotten back together?

• This is just a clear case of not having the same expectations of each other. You are right, it’s your ring, you can sell it. She is valid to feel like this should have been communicated. Ultimately it sounds like this relationship is really not going to work in the long run so it’s prob best for both of you to cut your losses now.

• you bought the ring and she gave it back to you it is your property to sell. Also this sounds like a relationship that shouldn’t move forward. Sounds like a lot of fights. Might be time to move on

I’m 17 have a little sister who’s 12. Our family just moved about a month ago so we both had to change schools, cause my parents could not really send us that far and they are always overly worried.

It’s been alright for me so far but my sister’s been struggling to make new friends as she tends to be shy and quiet around new people. To make matters worse, my sister’s teacher decided the other day to point this out in front of their whole class.

He made her and another girl who was also on the shy side stand up and come to the front of the class to announce that they would be receiving special “mentors”, who were just older students from the school, to help them come out of their shells and deal with their “home and family problems”.

He did this without talking to my parents first. My sister was mortified and came home in tears that day, she said the whole day she could hear people whispering and staring at her.

My parents were a little pissed that he didn’t talk to them first but said it wasn’t a big deal and just emailed the teacher saying that she wouldn’t be needing a “special mentor”.

I however was incensed, so the other day when I went to pick up my sister after school, I marched right into her classroom after everyone had left and it was just him and another teacher in the room and really gave him a piece of my mind.

He got really quiet and apologized and left. Later, he emailed my parents and said he didn’t appreciate being yelled at by a teenager in front of his colleague and that he wanted to address any miscommunications in a civil manner.

My parents were furious at me but honestly, it was worth it to me, if even just to show my sister an example of how to stand up for herself.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. A few months ago we moved in with one another. My partner earns a lot more than me but got himself into a lot of debt when we broke up briefly prior to moving in together by going on a drinking spree (if it matters I was the one who left him, for different reasons). When we got back together and agreed to move in with each other he was adamant that we take a fancy apartment, which I thought was a waste of money. We ended up taking something cheaper, but even when just paying for myself, the cost is still double monthly what I was paying for in my old apartment (for him it’s cut his living costs by half).

In the midst of things – my partner has been very stressed about money. It’s become all he talks about. I sympathise with this as he does work hard so he’s not a ‘bum’. He spends most his time indoors, depressed and drinking cheap wine. Accordingly, I’ve ended up paying all of our bills (including food and all other expenses), and I’ve been transferring big chunks of money weekly to help him pay off his debts. He always says he’ll pay me back some of it on payday and that he’ll look for a better-paid job but never does. I’ve lost a lot of my savings supporting him this way and I can’t afford it long term as I’m not a big earner myself.

The other day, I went out with friends and he proceeded to ignore me for three days straight afterwards – as in every time I tried to approach him he told me to F off & wouldn’t speak with me. I have attachment issues and ended up getting (admittedly) very upset and angry and yesterday I screamed that he just uses me as a cash cow. He went mental and ended up sending me a list of 20 things he hates about me (some very personal, and quite frivolous, like the fact I’m from a low-class background) and said that he’s moving out.

My friends say I’m in the right but I can’t help but feel I was nasty in saying this, especially because he’s been so honest about how his financial situation is impacting his mental health.