AITA?

I was earning around 60k to 70k per annum for 10 years before quitting to be a sahm. My husband earns more than me. My husband and I paid half each during the initial payment for the house with a remaining loan of 200k. We have separate and joint accounts. He has taken over paying for almost all the expenses for both of us. Including giving me an allowance which I was able to save from it too. We are thrifty, we don’t own a car.

During the course of our marriage, he had asked me twice if we can repay some of the home loan, using both our savings. I’ve obliged as I wanted to ease his burden. I’ve not need to spend from my own pocket as he’s given me a supplementary card for all expenses and he also paylah whenever I pay for things. From kid to house stuff and even my own personal shopping, insurance and other smaller bills he would paylah me sometimes and will do it when I ask too. Basically he’s paying for almost everything and I’m grateful for that. I’m also a simple person. I used to buy Chanels and Pradas but have since adjusted my spending habits since becoming a mom. I can live on 500 or less a month if I want to. I don’t scrimp when it comes to food. I can buy things on sale but I also won’t deprive my child of a new book or toy on birthdays or xmas when my child asks for it.

We won a decent amount not long ago and we used that to fully repay our condo. We are debt free since. We didn’t tell anyone about it.

Recently his family member asked if we can invest an amount in their business. Promising huge returns. All along I’m not on good terms with them and I don’t trust them either. They have been changing what they do all along. My husband would like us to contribute to show support. He say I got the spare cash, why not? I have a strong feeling their business will fail again and we won’t get back single cent. My relatives said me and my husband are the only ones staying in condo, we should give others a chance to upgrade from hdbs. I think it’s rubbish talk.

I don’t want my husband to help them either. I have plans to work when my child gets older but whatever I have now, it’s my own savings. I feel very annoyed his relatives act like I ought to help them. I’m not a big investor so I prefer to keep most of my money in banks. I do share and invest in the same stocks as my husband so even though my husband don’t really know the exact amount that I have, he has a rough idea that I have more than 100k. I know its not a lot. But since I’m not working right now, it’s my lifeline.

AITA for refusing to give his relatives a single cent and also stopping my husband from helping them?

Honestly, i feel very confused about my current relationship now, i have met my current boyfriend during my secondary school days.. We broke up and patched up quite a few times (Most of the time i initiated the convo) many of my peers also told me to move on from him as he was stingy, selfish and he ended things off with me the past 2 times.

I often feel like it was a one-sided relationship. I’m always the one planning dates, finding new places to go, paying more than 70% for most of our meals (as he claims he does not have the financial means & mentions that i am more well to do than him), paying more on hotels and air tickets when we travel together but he can spend 40-42k on a rolex watch without thinking much..

He also never wishes me or plans dates during anniversary and doesn’t spend any money on my birthday gift. When i usually fork out money to purchase presents for him every 2-3 months..

I know i’m not supposed to expect anything back since i gave the gifts willingly.

But there was once when i was badly ill and told him to fetch me to the nearby clinic to bring me to the doctor as i was really weak and sick, he continued his sleep and i took a grab down myself (even though it was a 10 mins drive)

I’ve been keeping all these feelings to myself and thinking if one day he will reciprocate back all the things i have done for him.. I’m starting to have second thoughts on my relationship with him and thinking if i should break it off but at the same time i just can’t let him go as he was my first boyfriend and i’m not sure if i would be able to find anyone whom can click well with me.

What should i do?

Mother is adamantly against me marrying my gf of 4 years

Background : my (26m) family is from a pretty conservative family which is the case for our extended family as well. what this means is basically they impose a curfew on me of no later than 10 p.m. which is wtv until i reach 20 years old where lived with a few friends at a dorm. I was culture shocked as I could go party and hang out with friends until whatever time i wanted which was extremely liberating.

Now around this time I made a couple of bad choices which eventually lead me to crash 2 different cars within a span of 3 years. Reasonably they lost trust in me and when I had to mave back in with them (cultural reasons) that curfew is stuck in place.

I met my gf when I crashed my car (23 yo at the time) for the 2nd time (i was driving) and she was in the car with me alone. It ended up being a pretty serious accident and the car was totaled. At this point i got my life together finished my degree (24) and finally got a decent job this year. Previous 2 jobs that i had was an entry level job.

I’ve been wanting to bring my gf over to meet my parents for the past 2 years of us being together but they were always giving excuses to avoid the situation without outright saying that they do not like her (keep in mind they have never met her before). I did talk to my dad and he was resigned to it so now I need to get my mothers blessing🙄

Another reason for my mum’s reluctance is that an uncle saw gf & I smoking cigarrettes and showed them to my mum in the most shitty manner you can imagine

Please give me advice on how do to approach my mother at this point because it honestly sucks..I was never close to my parents before and the advice i got from my siblings is to wait for them to come around.

A netizen shared a story of how he is getting harass by insurance companies almost daily and they have been asking him to join the industry.

He said that it has been happening at least twice a week and it is getting annoying.

Here is the story:

I am currently working as a sales manager at a local company but I have been searching for a job for the past month as I am looking for another role that is not in sales.

I uploaded my resume to the job search websites the usual jobstreet, jobsdb, monster and etc.

I tried applying a few jobs but so far I have not gotten any responds from the companies. But I am getting calls from Insurance companies!

This is freaking annoying, I was sitting there hoping that the phone call is for a interview and it ends up with a insurance company calling me.

They always begin the call saying “We found your resume on Jobstreet and we think that you might be a good fit for our organization”. It’s either jobstreet or they will say monster.com or whatever.

They will start to pain a castle in the sky saying how lucrative it is and how people are driving big cars from selling insurance.

I rejected them one, twice and many more. But they are still calling me non-stop.

Is there a way I can stop them from calling me before i shout on them on the phone?

Unethical & pushy job recruiters

So as context, I got offered a job which doesn’t offer a good enough pay package for me to consider moving. When I told my recruiter that, she proceeded to hard-sell me this job and even said some things which I feel are borderline unethical. Things like:

Recession is coming, you don’t take this offer you are not gonna get a better one in the future.

Your other job interview which you went previously (also introduced by her), I feel that there’s little to no chance so you should just take this one since they already offered.

I cannot go back to HR and quote what you wanted, because you haven’t even proven yourself to them so what makes you think you are able to command what you wish to get?

Every time I speak to her I feel so agitated and enraged, it’s so obvious that she just want to get her commission. Wonder if anyone got any other examples of pushy and hard-selling job recruiters?

Netizens’ comments

1. I didn’t get far in the process, but when I told a recruiter my expected (about 50% more than my then-salary), she tried to argue with me about how it was unrealistic and entitled of me to expect such a huge jump, that I should only expect a 10% raise, maybe 15% at most if I’m lucky, while also ignoring everything I said in return.
   We went on for about 20 minutes until I finally cut it short and said it was my final decision, then the call ended quickly after. A few other recruiters said similar things to me, but since that first experience I learned to tell them straight away that it’s not up for debate, and no need to waste their time.
   Not really sure what they were trying to get out of it, I guess lower expected is an easier sell to the company so they can claim their commission quickly and move on.
2. Recruiters are in essence, sales people that are selling you (and others) jobs that they can earn commissions on.
   So while, like any sales person, they pledge themselves to find you the best solution (ideal job). But at the same time, the best solution may not yield the sales man/woman the best commissions.
   Also i have read from forums and heard from friends in the industry, of varied stories where Recruiters are always in a mad dash to close the deal(s). If these don’t close a certain quantity within a day/week/month, then they’re on the chopping block.
   The industry used to have a large turnover, similar to insurance agents. Not sure if the environment has improved? 🤔