I don’t know about you, but I’m glad for this pandemic. Why? Partly because I can WFH, but also partly cos I don’t need to see my fiancée.

She’s not my “official” fiancée, cos I’ve not officially buy ring, kneel down and propose to her. Her sisters, right in front of her parents some more, kept asking me for the zillionth time when I’m going to marry her.

I just said OK OK, in a half joking way, but the whole family interpreted as I agreed. Her 2 sisters, really cannot stand them at times.

That was during CNY reunion dinner. With this pandemic, at least now I’ve reason to push back all the wedding preparations. Can push how far push how far but now I finding new excuses.

I don’t mind marrying her, but I’m also not sure if I want to really marry her. She’s a very nice and understanding woman.

Till now she’s not even asked when I’m going to buy ring, officially propose etc. But the main thing I really don’t like is she’s not the slim type. Is the plump, “bah bah” type. Not sumo wrestler fat, but still…fat. She jokes about her “thunderous thighs” and says she has big bones.

But I can tell she’s those types naturally fat, and very hard to slim down even if she controls her diet. We’ve been together 2 years and went running, the gym together, but she just cannot slim down. We tried to do yoga but she gave up after 3 lessons. Plus she likes to snack. So naturally fat + bad lifestyle habits = no hope.

You ask me why I’m with her? She’s a nice woman, to me, to friends, to everyone. Her character is good, she’s thrifty and a low-maintenance woman.

She’s a good joker and knows how to make me laugh. I feel comfortable with her. And after 2 years I thought I can look past her fatness and appreciate her inner beauty. But I’m sorry to report I still cannot. Now this wedding thing has forced me to really think if I really want to marry her.

I cannot imagine the next time if she’s pregnant how she’ll look like? If even my friends’ wives, who were slim previously, cannot slim down after pregnancy, who chance does she have? Maybe double or triple in size after pregnant, and really look like sumo wrestler for rest of her life. I cannot imagine.

Last time when I saw a not bad looking guy with a fatty girlfriend, I would think “what’s he thinking?” Now is my turn to be in this situation. My ex girlfriends were all slim type, and she comforted me when I broke up with the last one. In the end she became my “rebound” girlfriend.

I never thought we will last so long. At first I was quite paiseh going out with her, but over time I thought I don’t mind already. But now, I really need to decide. Boyfriend-girlfriend for companionship, support is one thing; marrying is totally different.

I’m only 29, the more I consider, the more I should keep my options open right? If I call off the wedding, her sisters will surely kill me, and I know I will break her heart. But it’s also not right I sacrifice my own happiness for them right?

Curious to know which platforms yall use these days other than Shopee!

I used to use Shopee everyday religiously because their spin the wheel and daily coin system was not bad + their shipping fees for $0.10 deals was $0. Not to mention 15% cashback!

But recently on Shopee, it’s been impossible to get coins via the wheel, daily coins incentives has gone down, free shipping for $0.10 GREATLY reduced (look, it’s not worth paying $0.60 shipping for $0.10 item) AND THEIR CASHBACK 15% to 12% to 10% and now its mostly 8% with the rare and occasionally 10-12…

I’ve always stuck with Shopee cuz it’s homegrown but now I’m thinking of going to Lazada (if it has better deals) or just Taobao-ing all my stuff 🙁 Please share if there are other platforms with better deals!

Here are what netizens have to say

• Depends on what kinda items you want to buy.

I go to Lazada for electronics, household items, and the slightly more expensive purchases, but I only shop at Lazmall because these sellers are verified businesses. Shopee for useless items like the 99c deals. Shein for clothes, shoes, bags etc. And Ezbuy for purchase of multiple items from different sellers at once like on a shopping spree.

• taobao is the best other than having to wait for shipping, more options available and i think the app is way easier to use than shopee can collect points with every purchase or doing daily mission too then wait for the 满减活动 that happens every month

• Lazada, Qoo10, and AmazonSG are the other major SG ecommerce sites. They’re not as good as Shopee overall I feel, but they all have their own positives that make them stand out from Shopee.

Qoo10 is the only one with 24 month credit card installments (UOB only). Has their own shipping service (Qxpress/Qprime) that is one of the best in SG I feel.

Amazon has very fast next day or same day shipping with Prime ($2.99/month, comes with Prime Video and Twitch Prime, very worth). They also have incredibly generous fuss free returns.

Lazada is the most similar to Shopee but tends to have better discounts and free shipping coupons. UI is more messy through imo, and aftersales service is worse as well. Much more Chinese sellers than Shopee as well.

Image source: Shopee.sg, Lazada.sg

My direct report had a chat with me the other day. He’s thinking of promoting me and making my head of the department.

I declined politely and told him I’m perfectly happy where I am.

Am I not ambitious? I’m only in my late thirties and there’s a lot of room to climb. The company has identified me as a middle management material at least, and it’ll be a wasted opportunity if I don’t take it up and it goes to someone else. Unless I don’t see a future with the company. He asked.

I opened up to him honestly. What’s ambitious? Is it ambitious for ambitious sake, or ambitious so that we can earn more for our family, for a better living? If so, what’s a better living? Bigger house, better car, more fanciful holidays?

He was stunned for a long while, unable to answer me.

I continued. I’m at the perfect sweet spot now. I love my job, what I’m doing day in day out. My salary is comfortable for my family. We are not rich by any sense, but we manage our finances properly and are comfortable with my salary. And most importantly, I get to leave office on time most days, have dinner with my family, read to my kids, play with them, and tuck them to bed. And the reason I quit my ex company was because of the travelling. Instead of tucking my kids to bed with a kiss on the cheek or a hug, I was tucking them through Skype or WA calls.

Accepting the promotion now will mean leaving office later, missing dinners, and travelling once covid ends. More zeros in the bank acct, a bigger house, a better car, and more expensive toys, will not replace the daddy, the husband, at the dining table, on the bed beside them. It will not replace the laughter, the jokes, the f2f.

Yes, I’m not ambitious. Because I have realized what my end goal is, what are the things that matter most. And I, with my family, have already achieved it. We are living our simple dream.

And we are not going to break our family apart just to follow how society defines “success”, “ambitious”.

I walked out of his room with no promotion, but a boss with a look of respect on his face.

I am a local, teen girl, planning to take a solo trip to venture around Geylang.. my parents are worried as Geylang is notorious for being a red light district, and Geylang from my brief research doesn’t have the best rep.. but not that worrying at the same time?

most threads I found have been from 5 years ago so i kinda want a fresh take on this esp after the pandemic.

i also heard geylang has 2 sections.. one being the red light district. i think I’m going to spend most my time around lorong 16, should i be worried?

any precautions to take?

Replies by netizens

• Broad daylight should be ok but avoid the small quiet lanes, create distance if any unruliness breaks out and scream if you get into trouble. The pimps should be out and ready to help.

Because no kidding they want their business to be trouble-free too.

• Even number lanes including 16 are red light, but you are unlikely to get more than stares. Just walk normally, and ignore any stares that come at you – Singapore is pretty safe in that regard, including geylang in my opinion. People who go there know better than to hit on or cause trouble to themselves and strangers in my opinion.

Reply by netizen living in Geylang

I have been living near Geylang for the past 15 years, so here are some tips

1- Go with someone alongside you

2- Avoid going near alleyways at night, both alone or with a buddy, just don’t do it. Because from my experience some alleyways actually leads to dead ends while some is a short cut to the next district, but whatever it is, just avoid alleyways because it is unpredictable.

3- Don’t wear too revealing, and by that even some shorts also try not to wear. Best to wear long pants, oversized T-shirt. Had a female friend that wore shorts and tank top walking with me to go to Singpost, the uncles there are legit no fear, they literally can pretend to bump into you, touch you inappropriately and say accident. Some may even take you as one of the ladies that are providing “services”, not even kidding.

4- Don’t anyhow blast music especially EDM music, most famous one “Million tears” Geylang area is infested with a ton of ‘ah bengs and ah sengs’ and they specially pick and like those techno music to go with their chants, so if you anyhow go and blast one, they may mistake you as trying to mock or rival their group and may start trouble with you.

That’s all that I can think of at the moment, but to be honest Geylang has its nice parts, like food. Just go during the daytime and peak periods, best if go at times where you can see police officers prowling.

Don’t go there at night.

Image source: Google Maps

Out of the blue and completely unexpected, I found out my husband cheated.

That was last year in December, right after Christmas. As I was taking stuff out from the car boot, found some loose flower petals. One thing led to another, I checked his fb history, and he confessed.

He actually bought flowers for that woman on Christmas and lied to me that he had to go back office for urgent work. He cried and begged he won’t do it again, even hit his own head and swore that he was just keeping the woman company cuz she was gg through a difficult period.

I dk wat to do, shock, anger, the “what to do now, how other women in my situation cope” feeling. Feminism says to kick our unfaithful men out and move on with our lives, but I keep asking myself, do I really have the courage?

Do I really want my daughter to be fatherless? She will grow up being labelled as from single-parent family.

Now we are still tgt. Just living day by day but I have not forgiven him. It’s very trying and tiring. I’m not sure if I really want to lose my husband, but I don’t want my daughter to lose her father. At 8yo, she still needs him now and for many more years.

I try to act normally and pretend that everything is alright, especially when my daughter is ard, but when I’m alone, I get these angry and ugly thoughts. We no longer sleep on the same bed. I try to make a conscious effort not to think of the past, but really, I’m just hanging in there.

Should I forgive him?

There will always be this scar, this devastation in my heart. I always teach my daughter that forgiveness is a virtue, that one shd’nt be petty in life. That was what my mum taught me.

But presently I’m not doing what I teach her. How can I tell her there are things in life we can forgive and forget, and certain things we shd’nt tolerate? I dw her to go through the ugly adult world at such a small age. What if what my mum taught me was for a world which no longer exists, when most men were still faithful?

I’m trying to let go and move on, but how? I’m surprised at myself for keeping so calm, at least on outside. But its tormenting, I might just break down one day.

——–

I’ve been delivering as a Grabfood rider for the past 3 weeks.

Been driving Grab previously until the car spoiled, hence no choice but to deliver Grabfood part-time to supplement my income. I’m not like others who need to support their wives or children or parents but need to service my credit card debt which I blame on my bad financial decisions in the past.

Anyway I heard from my fellow riders about the bad press reported by the media, such as how so many new riders have signed up recently that even though demand is going up, some riders are seeing a drop in orders due to more riders, some new riders lost their way and received complaints, 1-star ratings by customers, people take picture and kbkb why riders eat outside the restaurant while waiting for the orders to be ready.

After 3 weeks, I can say the experience has been good and bad, both heartbreaking and heartwarming. It’s quite different from a Grab driver, where we interact mostly with just passengers. Grab food delivery you have to deal with both the F&B merchants and the customers.

The not-so-well-off family

During my 3rd delivery I was delivering to what looked like a 2-room flat, and the main door was open. The whole living room was so packed with furniture, cardboard and other stuff that there was almost no space to walk, and a little boy and little girl were sitting down on the floor doing their homework I guess.

As it was evening, the whole room was dark except for a small lamp beside the boy and girl. I called out and a guy came over and looked surprised to see me.

Long story short, the guy didn’t know that his wife had ordered Grab food, and started scolding her using vulgarities about why waste money et etc, when they could just cook at home.

Worse, the children started to cry. I was left standing outside for almost 5 minutes, not really knowing what to do and could not bear to interrupt them. Eventually, the wife came over, passed me the money took the food, and slammed the door in my face. I don’t blame them.

Every family has its own difficulties, and while I might’ve been in the wrong place at the wrong time, it made me appreciate that my own situation is sometimes not as bad as I think compared to others.

Coffeeshop Auntie

Then there was this coffee shop stall selling noodles. I was about to leave after collecting the order, then the cashier auntie suddenly showed me her phone and asked me what did the next order meant. I was like huh???

I explained the next order was which noodle dish, whether want chilli or not, add extra ingredients etc. Turned out that the stall owner’s son had signed them up for Grab food, without really teaching them how to use the app and understand the orders.

Usually, the aunties will just randomly ask customers to help them interpret the orders. It just hit home to me that while nowadays such technology is everywhere and people just take them for granted, installing and deleting apps like nobody’s business, there are still many people out there, our elderly, the not-so-educated, those who cannot see well, those who cannot afford even the cheapest smartphones or data plans, who are struggling to catch up so as to earn just a little living that many of us will not find much. I reckon these stall helpers earn maybe not more than $800 – $900 per month.

Again, my situation now doesn’t look so bad. A few days later I went back to the same stall for another order, and the auntie still recognized me. And this time, other than the order, she also passed me a dabao packet of fishball soup. Translated from Hokkien: This one for you eat. Young man run here run there also not easy. Gam xia for helping auntie last time. After some to-ing and fro-ing, I gave up and accepted her treat.

This period is not easy for all of us. Each of us has our own “mini-crisis” to handle. Stay at home, go out only when really needed, and if possible, lend a hand to those less privileged, less fortunate or simply need some help at that point. Everyday now I deliver food, I also learn about all these human touch.

Sometimes things are not as bad as they seem.

A guy shared a story of an unfortunate incident that happened to him one day involving his Rolex watch while using the toilet to do his business.

Here is the story

“Recently, I bought a Rolex watch, a Submariner which I have been eyeing on for a long time to reward myself for gaining promotion in my job.

Yes, getting a Rolex from an authorised dealer. I got mine from a Rolex reseller.

I wore the Rolex to work happily on the day of the incident, forgetting that I had to move my stuff from my cubicle to another bigger workspace due to my promotion.

After an hour or so of moving my belongings, mother nature called and I proceeded to the toilet to do my business.

As I had perspired while moving my belongings and there was perspiration on my wrists, I took out my Rolex and watch while I was doing my business and left it on top of the toilet paper holder.

After I was finished with my business, cleaned and dressed up, I reached out for my Rolex watch, wanting to wear it back on my wrist.

However, I suddenly had a ‘butter fingers’ moment and the Rolex watch slipped out of my hands and dropped inside the toilet bowl.

As I reached down into the toilet bowl to retrieve the watch, the automated system of the toilet bowl suddenly activated and flushed my Rolex down into the sewage.

Literally saw almost 25k (the price which I bought the Rolex watch) flushed down into the sewage.”

Image source: Unsplash

I find myself working longer and longer hours with WFH. My manager has an annoying habit of scheduling conference meetings in the evenings and even late at night.

She assumes that just because we WFH, there is more time flexibility to when we can hold meetings. Her rationale is that whereas last time in office the work hours were all taken up by meetings and discussions which disrupted real work from being done, now we can just focus on doing work during daytime, and schedule all the meetings in the evenings.

This means higher productivity for everyone.

Conveniently forgetting or purposely not mentioning this means much longer work hours for everyone, while the company has announced a pay freeze and no bonus for the next 2 years at least.

To make matters worse, the company is rolling out a new initiative where every employee needs to report our work progress every 2 hours to our direct report, together with screenshots of what we have been doing for the past 2 hours. To make sure we don’t slack off while WFH.

Who says WFH is better? Home is supposed to be where we unwind from work. But now I’m miserable, overworked and feeling trapped in my own home. I’m really desperate to go back to office life.

At least there was some kind of clear work vs home separation.

Here are what netizens think:

• This kind of people they will do whatever they can to lick their bosses’s boots
• This one angkat until cannot angkat, wayang number 1. From experience wayang people only climb to a certain level and they get stuck cause no new substance.
• Sounds like my last time General Manager at Jurong

Long story short, we both come from working-class families and the last year has not been kind to my parents, chiefly my dad who need hospitalization and long term care. My dad is fiercely private and independent so he doesn’t know yet I have been footing the balance of the hospital and community hospital bills – after subsidies etc, and now the home based care he needs – only child so no choice. My fiancee has her own family’s financial issues the she need to solve but that’s private. What I can say is that the aspirations and hopes of 2 sets of working class parents are resting squarely on our shoulders.

That may make some of my choices, decision making and frustrations clearer. One things is certain though, the climb up the financial ladder is much harder than expected.

My fiancee and I really appreciate each and every suggestions and sharing of personal experiences and we hope that people in future reading this reddit can utilize some of the suggestions to do better fitment of their own housing choices.]]

As a young Singaporean couple, we are priced out of the HDB resale market, yet have trouble getting a BTO flat queue number.

BTO

My fiancee and I have applied for multiple BTO exercises since 2019 to no avail. We are definitely not choosy as we applied for Tengah, Punggol North and Fernvale which are non matured estates in the outlying corners of Singapore and yet we have not received a single queue number. We were a bit kiasu and started applying during our final year at university as we wanted to get a head start on our marriage and family planning but, nope the early bird still doesn’t get the worm.

Seeing our MP for help, on our parents’ advice, turned out to be of limited utility as he said that he could write a letter on our behalf but the rest is up to HDB.

When we graduated, we were lucky to get full time positions almost immediately, but our combined income is now close to the BTO income limit, so the window of opportunity for getting a BTO is closing quickly.

We tried the HDB resale market which is even more frustrating. We understand that we are blessed to have a combined income close to the BTO income limit, which should strangely make us feel firmly middle class, but between paying off the student loans, giving allowances to retired parents, paying for parents’ medical bills and saving for our own family’s future (we hope to get married and have children young), given that we have worked for less than a year, there just isn’t much spare cash to go around.

Anyway, most property agents have been ignoring our messages. Those that respond tell us upfront tell us that the last offer was $6xx,xxx etc and ask us to top the offer to view the unit.

We made an offer for one particular unit that we liked. 30+ year old in the north east area but it’s not near the town centre or MRT. We were prepared to pay COV of $35,000, which we estimated based on the recent selling prices in that block. On the day we were supposed to sign the OTP, the owner accepted another higher offer so our hopes were dashed. And true enough, when we checked the HDB resale website a couple of months later, the flat was sold for about $15,000 above our offered price.

Since then, it has been a mad rush to view units before the prices climb higher and I have noticed that the sellers don’t even bother about the selling price anymore but are now asking for a fixed amount of COV aboved the valuation of the unit.

One incident stood out because the seller’s agent told us to commit to a minimum COV of $80,000 before we could make an appointment. We GTFO of that conversation real quick.

Public housing should be as described. Public housing for the good of the public. Not some asset-appreciation concept that burdens the subsequent generations.

Apologies for the long rant, but just had a long discussion with my future wife and we’re just dead beat.