I’ve been struggling with depression ever since I was 11 and one times when I was 17, my blood pressure when so high, I couldn’t feel my arm (it returned back to normal after a few days with the help of anxiety medication. the reason behind this was my deadbeat dad). I’ve been fine since then except for the occasional stress.

well, yesterday, my aunt was as usual angry without any reason and she seemed tired. she asked me to make dinner so I said sure and I went to find a recipe. evening rolled around and it was time I started making dinner so I went to the kitchen to find my aunt had already made most of dinner and was waiting for me to come and finish what she started. I got a bit mad because why would she ask me to make any dinner I wanted when she made dinner on her own and expect me to finish making it.

now there is this thing about me in the kitchen, I don’t like touching other people’s food until it’s finished and I don’t like them touching mine (this makes me sooo anxious, I don’t know why) so I just told her I’m not gonna make dinner anymore and I left the kitchen to avoid anymore conflicts.

when I agreed to make dinner, I thought she was tired and that she wound take a nap while I’m making it but she didn’t seem that tired anymore as she had finished most of dinner anyway.

she didn’t seem to like my response so she stopped talking to me for the rest of the evening and then by 10 she started talking to me so I though like there is nothing wrong anymore, well, wrong. by 1 AM, when everyone was going to sleep, she got angry at me again for apparently the same reason as before. no one reminded her of it or anything she just decided that she wanted to be angry at me.

she started yelling at me, threw my phone at me all the while I didn’t say anything. in bed, I stared stressing out, my chest started hurting and I had a feeling like there are needles in my right arm and I wanted to cry.

when I woke up this morning, she was making breakfast, she completely ignored and then slammed my plate on the table. I wanted to cry and the pain in my chest returned and I had a feeling like I was about to throw up. so I just left without eating anything.

Not sure if she is having menopause.

she followed me to my room yelling at me for disrespecting her by not eating anything (I just couldn’t, I felt like I would vomit). I chose not to say anything because I didn’t want to make her angrier. she kept yelling for sometime before she left and now she keeps telling everyone that I’m making her to be the bad guy in this whole situation and I’m an ahole.

I am about to marry my partner next week. We both have big families, so it’s going to be a big wedding. I have 3 siblings and more than a dozen cousins, and I wanted to invite them all.

One of my cousins who’s closest to me in age is Mike. He also lives closer to me than some of the rest of the family, so I’ve had the chance to see him more than the others, including meeting his girlfriend, Anna.

She’s nice, I guess, but she smells like eggs all the time. It makes her hard to be around, and that stress isn’t something I want to deal with at my wedding.

When I brought up my concerns with my partner and told him that I didn’t want her coming, he said it was my side of the family and I could do what I wanted with the invitations. So I did. She’s not coming. I sent my cousin an invite. No plush one.

Well, Mike just found out he’s the only close family member not getting a plus one, and he was upset. He asked if there was a mistake, and despite not wanting to deal with his drama, I told him the truth. It wasn’t a mistake. I just didn’t want Anna coming. When he pressed me on the issue, I told him that she smelled, was hard to be around, and I didn’t want her coming.

He yelled at me and called me some unpleasant things before saying if she wasn’t coming then neither was he.

I told him he had to come. It’s my wedding and he has to be there. He ignored me, and then he blocked me.

I understand why he might be upset, but he has to be able to see my side too. Am I really the one at fault for not wanting to add stress to my wedding?

My nephew’s mom, she’s an amazing mom and she does the best that she can, did not want to let this happen and no one in my family (my 19 y.o sisters, myself, and my stepdad) other than my mom and brother thought it was a good idea.

My mom already has 8 kids, half of which she’s not even on speaking terms with for plenty of reasons. She enjoys having babies but the second they start walking, talking, and getting into things, LIKE KIDS DO, she no longer wants anything to do with them.

She repeatedly tried to guilt and pressure my nephew’s mom into letting her adopt my nephew until she finally got to a breaking point and took my nephew out of state to stay with her family, I don’t exactly agree with the decision but I don’t blame her for it either.

Now onto the main thing, my brother, his baby mama, and my nephew all moved into my maternal grandmother’s house, and I moved out of my parent’s house, about a month before I moved out I got a call from my maternal grandmother screaming at me, demanding to know how I could do this to my mom.

I was so confused and asked her what she meant, she continued to scream at me demanding why I would try to ruin my mom and brothers relationship, again, still really confused I asked what she meant. She said that my brother told her he didn’t want to have my mom in his life any more because, apparently, I had sent him videos of her talking shit about him. I asked what the hell she was talking about, I didn’t even have his phone number. He said that I had sent him videos over Whatsapp but he didn’t have the videos or even the account name that sent them to him, I got chewed out by my entire family and despite my trying to defend myself they all believed that I would do that without any proof.

I got my brother’s number from our younger sibling and sent him a long text telling him that if he wanted an excuse to stop talking to our mom he should have grown a pair and told her himself, I then proceeded to call him a sorry excuse for a man and a father and demand to know why he felt the need to drag me into his issues with our mom.

I never got a response but I know that he read the message, I’ve had family members tell me that while what he did wasn’t cool, I went too far by calling him that.

There was not a huge change in diet or lifestyle (maybe slightly less active due to COVID). All the weight for the most part went to my widening hips, bigger top, and lower stomach. There are definitely some new stretch marks with this weight gain.

Im having a lot of trouble accepting this new body of mine. I definitely look more womanly and far less like a teen. It’s just tough for me to see such rapid change, or maybe to see change at all. It weird because I never really even notice things like this in people around me.

I don’t really think I look bad or anything, just different and it’s been harder than I’d like to admit. I can’t decide if I want to diet and hit the gym harder to try to get my old body back or if I should accept this and see it as a part of life (as I imagine I will feel this way about my physical appearance plenty in the future).

But I go to a point I feel unhealthy and I’m afraid of illness and I already tried dieting and working out but nothing seems to be working.

I tried getting into the dating scene but I seem to be constantly rejected due to my appearence and I think its because of my fat stomach who is putting a lot of guys off, my arms are like thicker than the arms of average guys.

I don’t know what I’m asking for here, maybe just some insight, advice, or words of encouragement. Anything really.

Thanks.

But now, I’m not sure that I want to continue being a baker. Or maybe I just want to work somewhere else. I work at a tiny shop – 5 of us total. The owner is a huge pain in the ass but I just tolerate her. This week, it all blew up (with me mostly being a bystander but I strongly agree with the employee who had a dispute with the owner). It has kind of ruined the vibe of my fun job, and a bunch of stuff became apparent that make me believe it will not improve.

I am trying to start a hand-dyed yarn company as a side hustle, but a combination of self-doubt and lack of time have kept me from getting it off the ground.

I’m in a financial position such that I need to make SOME money, but it doesn’t need to be TONS (though I’d love that).

What advice would you give a friend in this position? Ride it out at the current job? Look for another fun job? Dive into yarn full time? Help!