Throwaway just in case. Also, sorry, I’m very upset and trying to organize my thoughts in a more understandable way.
My bf and I are both in our 30s and have been dating for about a year. We never argue and are usually very good with communicating our needs and compromising. Lately we’ve been arguing as my bf is on a work trip/vacation.
My birthday is in about a week and before my bf left he promised that he would be back in time for my birthday – that he would only be staying 2 weeks. Here’s the kicker. His boss bought them one way tickets to their destination.
Personally, I’ve been in long distance relationships before and they’re really hard work that need lots of communication and understanding. They also need an end date to function (at least for me). I tried not to pressure my bf about when he’s coming back as I didn’t want to nag him and I assumed since his relationship with his boss is very good, he would be able to ask him about his tickets back – and would make getting back a priority since he knows my birthday is very important to me.
I live far away from close friends and family and explained that I was looking forward to spending time with just him. After a few days of him there, I asked when he was coming back. He said he didn’t know and he feels uncomfortable asking his boss.
He’s having a great time and this is his first trip out of the country. Fair enough. I’m happy he’s successful and enjoying his trip, I’m just very frustrated that he doesn’t care enough to find out when he’s coming back. He’s bad at texting and calling and says things like “what do you want me to do?
Im texting and calling everyday” as if meeting bare minimum expectations is a chore for him. I’ve asked a couple of days in a row about those return tickets and each time our discussion ends in an argument, last of which ended in him saying he won’t ask his boss when he’s coming back because he doesn’t care and when I said, so then if you are asked to stay 3 months it’s safe to assume you will stay, and he didn’t respond.
It’s gotten to the point where I’m miserable because every time I talk to him I feel like an ah for bringing it up and the discussion escalating and me feeling like I’m putting a damper on his trip. I’ve told him not to contact me until he has a date as it’s better for my mental health that way.
Is it wrong of me for getting upset and expecting him to actually have a spine and ask his boss when he’s returning as it’s important to me? Yes, work is a priority, but shouldn’t I be too?
Looking for more perspectives on this so thank you
