Husband is not interested in getting intimate after baby

So I gave birth 6 months ago. And we had intercourse about 5-6 times since. My husband has been so not interested. And I feel like I initiated half the time.

I know he is not cheating. He is a great dad. He works from home. We share house work and he looks after the baby too.

He is just not into it and this happened after giving birth.

It didn’t used to be like this. We did it at least 3 times a week before.

This makes me very self conscious and sad. Like, I’m not wanted or loved anymore. Has anyone experienced this? What could be the reason?

Netizens’ comments

My brother went through the same thing with his wife (ex wife now – they divorced because she had been cheating on my brother since before she was pregnant, during, and after) when she gave birth to my nephew.

He told me that he saw her as a mother to his child, someone to respect, work hard for, and was just so busy working 2 jobs so he could provide. The last thing he thought about was getting physically with her because what he found attractive was her being a mom, not being her (if that makes sense) after the kid turned a year old things got better for them. Not to say that he didn’t find her attractive as herself, but after bearing a child he said that he wanted to give her and his kid the world. That meant working 60+ hour weeks, 3-4 hours of sleep, and taking care of a kid.

Then he found out she cheated and he left her.

How do you deal with an overly needy gf?

My GF has been pestering me to be with her or game with her all the time.

We used to go on dates and game often because I was jobless.

But I found a job and she seems to still want to keep up the previous gaming lifestyle.

She keeps pestering me to game with her the entire day, making a big deal out of it if i say i am busy.

I had to resort to telling her a white lie that I am busy at work sometimes, just to catch a breather.

To put things in perspective, it is something along the line of gaming before work, gaming during my work breaks, gaming after my work till late at night, gaming the entire day during weekends, gaming with her when she is bored at her relative’s home.

She has depression, and the jobs she was in did not last long, and she is mostly a stay home person, I already do all her chores, go to work to support our living and now i am also expected to entertain her the entire day?

To make it worst, she even invaded my personal gaming space by joining my 5-man team with my kakis, thanks to that, we had to exclude one of us so that she can join my games, even had my bro bitching to me that she is causing our ranking to drop because of her low skill level. I did not tell her this because I do not want to create drama.

What do I do? Sometimes she even resort to coming over to my place during my work at home just to squeeze out every last drop of time i have left, or straight up ask me to game with her when i am offline from the meetings etc

Here are what netizens think:

• Establish boundaries. Tell her your availability and stick to it. Don’t allow unauthorised home visits and don’t eject your teammate because of her. Manage and talk.Most importantly, it was mentioned in passing but it could be the real problem: you said she had depression. it might be worth encouraging her to see a psychiatrist as that could be the root of some of the issues

• Do you think the world has only one girl to be your girlfriend? Even if so, you don’t need this girl in your life. Take care.

• Mobile legend is it? Or pubg? She have to find a job n cut gaming time. If she dont want to then u both are on different path. Talk to her

I have a lot of resentment towards my mother-in-law

She is not a bad person, in fact she is very kind and helpful from her heart. She is the type of friend who will go all out to help you no matter what problem you have.

However, her dynamic with my husband is bad… really bad. She was a single mom since he was 7 and she was probably too young to manage a child so he was on his own a lot. Then she was absent during his growing up years leaving him with relatives while she worked and also fall out with the relatives due to her easily offended behavior.

When he got into adulthood, he had to in turn take care of her like a parent which included managing her finances, taxes, her rental property, her medical appointments, basically she doesnt learn/know anything and depended on him a lot and sometimes I see how that stresses him out. They argue a lot when they talk too which is where all my resentment is arising from.

My husband is one of the sweetest man I have ever met until it comes to his mom. But being her only son, he cannot shun the responsibility so all the interactions stresses him and out and in turn stresses me out.

Next, I know she is easily offended so I am always cordial to her to keep the boundary. Means I give her respect but I can never give her love. I know she wants to love me like a daughter because that is in her nature, she has a lot of love and a lot of strong feelings.. but I just can’t because of resentment and boundary. I keep the boundary so that we will not have a relationship so we will not have a chance for conflict. In other words, I do not have any desire to be personal with her on any level and I think she can sense it.

Lately, the resentment got stronger because she said she is having anxiety and that also worried my husband. I have no sympathy towards her, I feel that she is weak and useless and burdening my husband. Additionally, I feel like a horrible monster because I have so much sympathy for even people on the streets, the homeless but I have no sympathy for her. I feel horrible and angry when I think of her. I dont like this version of myself.. Just ranting.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We recently successfully applied for a BTO. We are both 25 years old and work in the civil service ( we are in difference sectors).

Recently, we have been talking and he did randomly mention that in the future, probably he could be the one at home looking after the children and house, doing some trading as a source of income, while I would go out and work.

I am not sure if this is feasible as I am doubtful if he stays home all the time, he would become a lazy person (he is a pretty nua person, even during weekends on our dates we would just stay home and lie on the sofa watching shows) and would not be someone who is motivated or have a goal if he does not have a job. I am also unsure if the kind of trading he is talking about is able to help contribute to the family and am concerned about me as a female being the sole breadwinner and providing for the family.

I am not sure if this is a red flag in the relationship, showing that my bf is an unmotivated and lazy guy? Any one out there has similar experiences please do share with me and also all your perspectives.

Here are what netizens think:

If you are not comfortable with this then it’s a red flag. He has already verbalized his potential intentions. Better clear this topic in greater detail with him soon as you can.

If your daughter is seeing such a man and is about to marry him, would you give her your blessing?

He can stay home and care for kids and even nua (if the children needs an wants are all met, which is impossible one) provided, he can bring in around $4k every month through trading. If he can, then just let him stay at home and do trading.