I want to apologize for any typos Iām on my phone.
So Im 24 this year and had a birthday today and my whole family went to celebrate. My partner (M28) planned the whole thing and didnāt want to tell me. He wanted it to be a surprise. I have never liked surprises. I think he knows as much. My father also planned some of it, so he wasnāt in the dark about it.
Anyway, so the day starts out by driving to go bowling. Also a surprise but one I was receptive of. I love bowling. We then go to dinner which I was unaware of where we were going to. We get there and I quickly realize that this was a very expensive restaurant and something I wasnāt comfortable with. I hate spending money and people spending money on me.
My father asked what I was going to order. I said nothing. Instant looks for my family, already knowing whatās up. I typically donāt like to eat so this isnāt a shocker. They think Iām almost joking though, so nothing happens. The time to order comes around. I order nothing. My mother asks me if Iād rather leave. Drinks have been placed and everyone else has ordered. I refused since we already placed orders. We stay. I think they believed I would be eating off their plates. I didnāt. The dinner lasted nearly three hours and I didnāt eat a thing. Not even the dessert they brought out for me since it was my birthday. I was invested in not eating. The dinner cost $900 which is far too much for that. I hated it. I hate money being spent like that.
Now, they know I hate spending money on food and money spent on me. Just this July we went out to a pricy place (not nearly as much as that) and I didnāt order anything. We then had a conversation about it and how it makes me uncomfortable spending that much money on food.
The food is far too expensive and if my family chips in to buy me food I just feel gross about it. They know this much about me. They should after 24 years.
My father and husband have expressed how they really wanted to go to this particular restaurant in the past. I said I didnāt find the need to and didnāt care about it that much. That was months ago. They also say how itās sad that I never want to go places. Ever. Iām an introvert at heart. My husband complains that I never want to do anything with him. So they know I hate leaving the house.
Iām going to have a conversation about it when we get home and explain my feelings. I felt like my birthday was completely ruined. My husband I can tell is upset that I didnāt eat. And I think heāll place the blame on me. And I donāt want to make my father sad. So itās a tough situation.
Am I wrong for refusing to eat a meal that would have cost over 1k if I had ordered food?
What netizens think:
- It isnt your money, how it is spent is not your concern. Causing unnecessary drama by sitting there refusing to eat is just nonsense.
- Sharing a meal as a family is as old as families. She couldāve ordered something light and picked at it. Spending $1,000 for a family celebration – no big deal. Spending $1,000 to be slapped in the face – a waste.
- She basically had a tantrum like a child.