So yeah, the night before my wedding my ex-husband (you can already see where this is going I’m sure) told me he had never actually wanted to get married, and since we had lost our virginity to each other a year into dating, he wanted more experiences and had cheated on me with his coworker.
You know, the one he had told me not to worry about a couple months earlier. He then said that the only way he wanted to still get married was if we opened our new marriage and he could sleep with other people.
At first I was in disbelief, and I was so terrified about what would happen if my parents found out that the guy they had warned me about (go figure) turned out to be a cheater. I spent most of the night crying and in shock, but I eventually agreed, and the wedding was back on. Hooray…
So the next morning, I’m terrified the whole time that he is going to back out and not show up to the wedding. But he does! We get married, go home, and don’t talk about the cheating/open relationship for a couple days.
Eventually, he reminds me of our deal, and asks when he can start seeing other people again. I ask him if he would wait a couple months to give me time to settle in to our marriage and recover from his confession of cheating. It was only a couple weeks later that he “let me know” he was going to “visit” his coworker that next weekend.
After about 1.5 months, I decide to try sleeping with an old friend/crush who I trusted to tell about my situation. It was great! And much needed to boost my confidence.
I ended up having one night stands with about 10 people during the next year, while my ex husband saw about 3 women consistently. Everything changed when I met Danny (fake name). I met him in class at uni, and we both were instantly attracted to each other.
I got his number, and we slept together once. Then twice. Normally I would stop at one or two times, but I liked his energy in bed so much that I wanted to keep seeing him.
Now this is where I’m at fault. I fell in love with Danny. HARD. I told Danny about my open relationship, and how the openness came about. He later told me that he didn’t expect me to be with HIM, but he didn’t think my ex was good for me. Danny pointed out all the times my ex had broken boundaries: staying out all night without telling me he wasn’t coming home, and telling his coworker that he LOVED her, although my ex told me he was just lying to his coworker to appease her.
Long story short, after realizing the kind of loving, trusting relationship I could have with Danny, and that things would never be the same with my ex, I broke things off. My ex obviously asked if there was someone else, and I told him yes. My ex wasn’t surprised or angry. He seemed to expect that this might happen, and didn’t blame me for being “unfaithful” and wanting to be with someone else. Long story short, I’m now over a year divorced, and engaged to Danny. Both of us are so excited to be getting married next year, and Danny can’t tell me enough how excited he is to have me as his wife. Im the happiest I’ve ever been, full of confidence and excitement for the future.
Just goes to show that divorce is definitely the right option for some, and some people should never get married in the first place. And never let fear of what others will think push you accepting terms you don’t 100% agree with.