My 20 y.o brother in law “Sean” moved in with me and my wife after my father-in-law passed away a few months ago.
He is the private type and keeps to himself. He goes out and never say where he’s going or how long he’ll be out, eats at random times during the day, wears earbuds while I and the kids are sitting with him. See, all of these are uncool behaviors and a bad influence on my children. I’ve already talked to Sean about certain house rules I have and how he was violating them maybe because he didn’t but now he knows and still nothing’s changed.
Last night, he came home late at around 10pm. I wasn’t thrilled with that because he knew the rules but he said that he was an adult and I shouldn’t be policing him but it’s not about that, it’s about the fact that he’s repeatedly disrespected the homeowner and the rules…So I told him this: “If he won’t respect the rules which are: Being home at 8, not eating at random times, and not using his electronics just like my kids aren’t allowed when the family is gathered to spend time together.
He ranted about how he wasn’t a child, my child, and called me unreasonable to treat him this way just because he lives under my roof, I told him it’s not hard to show respect really but my wife went off asking what was wrong with me to be giving Sean who’s still grieving, ultimatums and treating him like a child.
I explained to her that I’m just making sure the kids won’t be influenced by her brother’s reckless behavior and she laughed asking if I think Sean being on his phone was reckless but that is beside the point.
She called me a control freak and told me to get off her brother’s back and leave him alone. I replied that she’s just saying this because he’s her brother but she said I overstepped and should back off and stop trying to control her adult brother. I asked her if she was happy with him coming home late and she said she was sick of arguing then went upstairs.
Here is what netizens think:
- Your wife is right. Why on earth should a 20 year old have a curfew and have his eating times policed? Also, you made a unilateral decision about your wife’s brother without even consulting your wife?
You sound already like an overbearing parent, and this is towards an adult who isn’t your kid. I feel horrible for your wife and kids.
- Those children must fear this man. He is policing everything about their life. There is a difference between parenting and policing.Â