What should I do with my 1 plus year relationship with my bf? We argue almost every week.
Recently, he got angry with me, saying that I never listen to him whenever he gave advice. One incident that he brought up during the argument was insurance, about how I chose to listen to my insurance agent rather than him.
Even after when I explained to my bf that I trusted the insurance agent and went ahead purchasing the plan because the agent had sufficiently answered all my questions that I bombarded him with, my bf still got angry that I chose to trust a stranger over him ( he was against me purchasing the plan).
Recently, I was scammed of a few hundred bucks because of a stupid mistake that I made, but instead of showing me empathy (which he said he wont give), he scolded me for being naive and trusting.
and this incident was lumped together with the insurance incident and the argument was centered around how i dont listen to him and refuse to submit to his leadership, and how if we were to have a family, he won’t be able to trust me with finances.
The argument became so heated with f words in almost every message from him, even after I tried to appease him by acknowledging my stupid mistake with the scam incident and that I would try to listen to his future advice if it is within reason.
There was once when my bf accompanied me to repair my phone screen, and he advised me to backup my phone in case my data gets deleted during the repair.
I heeded his advice and backup whatsapp and 2 of my most important apps. However, at the repair store, when the repair guy said that my phone will take 2 days to repair and all my data will be gone because he will factory reset my phone, I panicked and asked if I could rethink about repairing my phone.
My bf got pissed and just asked the guy to go ahead with the repair. The repair guy was nice enough to lend me a loaner phone and backup my data to the loaner phone (which took about 2 hrs to backup).
In a text message later that night, my bf said he was angry that I wasted 2 hrs of his time waiting for the loaner phone to back up my data just because i didnt backup my phone like he told me to. He said that he felt that I refused his leadership at the repair store when I said I wanted to rethink the repair.
( Quick question to the ladies: how do u submit to your partner? What does that mean? Totally listen to him without thinking for yourself?)
Lately, with all our arguments, I don’t seem to feel the love in our relationship anymore. I’m conflicted because I can’t imagine my life without him, but I also can’t help but feel that we will not be happy in the long run.
The way he gets angry with me really scares and intimidates me. During our arguments, even after I apologise for whatever mistake he said I made, he will say my apologies aren’t magic, and his anger won’t disappear just because I apologised.
I feel very drained by all those arguments. What should I do? Those arguments seemed petty even as I was typing it, but somehow, they could become full-fledged arguments that last over a few days.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this long post . Any advice would be greatly appreciated.