My wife is my roommate.
My wife and I are both 52, together for about 30 years-27 of those married. We used to be very active in bed when we were younger and it seemed like we f-ed all the time, trying different things and in different places.
Once we started having kids things began to change. I completely understand that this happens but had hoped as our kids got older she might regain some of her earlier drive and adventure.
Unfortunately, that has not happened. Where we once might get spontaneous and f in the middle of the day, wherever we were, we now only have it some nights after going to bed.
And this is only when I am told by her that I should come to bed-no build-up, flirting, or simple seduction like when we first got together.
Both of our kids are now adults and mainly out of the house. We have plenty of opportunities to rekindle some of our spark but I see no effort from her.
She says she is interested and that nothing is wrong but every time I attempt to flirt I get a lukewarm response if any at all.
It just seems like we are roommates and as much as I want to see that change I don’t see promise. I have discussed this with her many times and every time I do there seems to be one more thing that holds her up.
She said I drank too much so I quit about a year ago. She said she wanted me to spend more time at home so I do. I help do things around the house and offer to do more. I’m no selfless saint but I feel I am giving what she asks for but not getting the result I expect.
Making love is not only a way for me to maintain a connection with her but it also helps me relieve stress. I end up just pleasuring myself more than my wife does, just to take some edge off.